How do I manage this?

[septwedding24]

So DS is 2 y 8 months (when we get married) he’s quite sensitive n gets overwhelmed easy has meltdowns. We went out to my aunty the other week he wouldn’t enter her house kept saying no

wouldnt speak to anyone. Sometimes people coming up to him he turns away says no gets shy / upset

me and his dad are getting married (small ceremony at our town hall, party at our house after) next month. I did want him to go down the aisle with my sister (he’s really comfortable with her) but I think he’ll have a meltdown when the doors open and he walks into a full room of some unfamiliar people ?

our youngest is 6mo so will be carried down the aisle and is okay with diff people right now

how do I manage this/ help DS? It’s a one time thing of course I’d love him to walk down the aisle as our page boy

but I don’t want to upset or overwhelm him (this is why the party is at our house a comfortable familiar environment)

Dress him ip as a page boy. But don't give him a role. Have someone he knows well to look after him.

Walking down the aisle sounds like it's going to be too daunting for him. So do t even try, unless he wants too.

If he's only 2 could his auntie carry him? Or is he too big for that?

What about if he's waiting for you in the room, either with your sister, or if you and STBDH wait in the room for your guests rather than "coming up the aisle". It does turn the ceremony upside down a bit, but is that such a sacrifice, compared to not having DS there at all, or being upset if he is?

Surely just have him sit with someone he is very close to up at the front? That seems like the least daunting thing to do and there are loads of other ways he can be involved in the day.

I've been to a few weddings in recent years where little children have walked (been carried) up the aisle and it seems it can scare even the most confident child.

Buy him a special, but comfortable, outfit and make sure you get “formal” pictures of you both with him and his sibling so he knows he was part of the wedding but don’t expect anymore of him than that. Why put extra stress on all of you to make him do something he won’t understand and will possibly react against in a way that will upset both of you.

I would also rethink the younger child being carried down the aisle, see the wedding as something that is a commitment you and your partner are making to each other. Your children will be there with you , they will be looking gorgeous, you will have lovely photos of them to enjoy and treasure and talk about with them, and to be honest, that is all they need to do.

Enjoy your day, keep it relaxed and stress free for the children and you will all enjoy it more.

Would it not make more sense for him to be with you or his dad, with your sister available to take him out of the room should he become overwhelmed?

I'd also let him wear what he likes, he's 2

Thanks for all the responses!

im starting to think best option is to have him sat up front (he’s also comfortable with my mum) so him and his little sister sat with her then my sister join them and my dad after he’s walked me down the aisle

i felt like I had to but to be honest it sounds better this way and he can get there first. Settle in and also will give my mum a snack or two to keep him sat! Haha