What did burnout feel like?

[bryceQ]

I think I've experienced a chronic burnout... And I'm doing my best to rebuild but I'm so exhausted it feels like a mountain. Could anyone share their experiences?

I had it when my gran died. Awful brain fog. Disconnected. I am a competitive swimmer but when I trained it felt like I had my Labrador on my back. Not interested in anything.

I was just on the brink of tears all the time. Overwhelmed at the slightest inconvenience.

How did you begin to recover?

I had to change jobs and find some coping mechanisms with the help of a therapist. I am
on a bit of a relapse though - my new job isn’t what it promised to be and so I’ve just had to quit as I could feel myself spiralling again. Luckily for me I have the resources to be able to do that.

Coping mechanisms for me are the gym - mainly because it provides childcare which allows me an hour or two here and there.

I didn't want to do anything anymore. Everything made me feel angry or anxious or overwhelmed or tearful. I cycled between those feelings all day everyday - and struggled to sleep but was completely exhausted.

After months of feeling right on the edge of a precipice, it suddenly felt like something just powered down inside me. I stood up, dropped my keys on my bosses desk and left like a zombie. Cried all the way home, turned my phone off and slept for 16 hours.

Then I just felt so, so tired and drained. Everything seemed to be ten times harder than usual. Everything felt pointless and I just felt sad and useless. It bloody sucked!

I pulled myself out by taking some time off work, and focusing on just doing things for me that I enjoy. Taking my time, touching grass, smelling the roses a bit. It took time but I got my mojo back eventually, chose to change jobs to something less stressful and with better work life balance. It's been two years since I hit burnout and I'm feeling more or less myself again!

I had to give up work and it took me 6 years before I could go back into a similar senior role full-time
year 1 - antidepressants for 8/9 months, lots of sleep
year 2 - lots of sleep, some volunteering
year 3 - volunteering ++, school governor, charity trustee
year 4 - exam invigilation, chair of trustees
year 5 - part-time role in a new sector, plus I finally had therapy (I should have done it sooner but couldn’t face it)
year 6 - back to full time working

I was destroyed by my burnout. I had ptsd from it and it was therapy that finally moved me forward.

For me it is an embodiment of "you can not for from an empty cup". I had zero energy - yes, but also zero patience, zero empathy, zero self control, zero everything. All resources depleted.

I've got a disabled child so simply stopping is not an option. I have developed chronic health conditions like migraines and fibromalgia which I know are stress related. I think I've reached an all time low and just really struggling.

I'm feeling similar. I have a child with ASD and LD, so I know how it feels to juggle caring and work, navigating the care system for your child and run a home.

Work has been particularly bad though lately and I just feel dead behind the eyes and unable to concentrate. I'm irritable, cry pretty much every day and just can't connect with my kids. I've worked full time all along with young kids and it has taken its toll on me and my partner. My work at home is never done either. Just so tired, disconnected and cynical. I have felt like this for years, but keep telling myself I'm a lightweight and nobody has died. Is this burnout? I just feel totally soulless.

I work for NHS and a of the threads on here about burnout seem to be posted by NHS workers. There is a theme! They are trying to make me present something soon when I have told them it gives me panic attacks even with beta blockers, and I have had CBT for anxiety and panic this year. Unbelievably I work for a mental health trust too. So I'm now overwhelmed this weekend with how I am going to tell them no and not relaxing. I have just got to the point where I am just absolutely fuming with them as I've been telling them for ages that my workload gets unmanageable and they have done nothing about it. I like my team and don't want to leave them in the shit by leaving, but at the same time they want more from me than I can give and they do nothing to really help me either. I'm at the stage though where I feel so tired and dead inside, even sitting in an interview is utterly terrifying.

Sorry about getting the violins out, but just wanted to tell you that you're not alone as is is very isolating having a disabled child and feeling exhausted. I hope you feel better soon OP. Is it work that is the issue, managing your child's care or just everything all at once? Does your child sleep?

I have got to the stage where I feel I have to push back with work as something has to give, and if that doesn't work I will just get another job or take time off. Even my son's consultant has told me I am burnt out. My family are saying the same too.

@Bigfuckoffmarrow
Oh my goodness I'm so sorry for you that sounds so difficult. Your work situation would stress anyone out.

I don't work full time as my son doesn't do full time school, he can't manage and obviously in holidays I'm doing full time care. Husband works about 10 hours a day so it's very tiring on me. Have own business so try to slot that in but it's hard. Son's sleep is abysmal. On melatonin but he still has so many issues. He is violent and it's all just so tiring