I am recently separated from my emotionally manipulative and financially abusive partner. We are keeping things pleasant for the children’s sake (x3 aged 5-11) but mostly communicate via text and mostly about the children. No custody agreement or anything as we are trying to do things agreeably between us at my ex’s insistence (although I suspect this is so he can continue to get his own way the majority of the time).
Whilst he is looking after the children he struggles to cope with them all (possible neurodivergence) so we usually divide and conquer. However he texts me continually about every tiny thing (which he also did when we were together). I’m trying to move on and live a peaceful life, but whichever combination of children he has there’s always a drama which he needs to ring/text about continually (often fifty messages an hour, a constant stream of messages). How do I move from fixing things for him all the time to letting him sort things out himself?
Can anyone think of any standard responses I can give which seem reasonable but put the responsibility back on him to actually parent the children? He wants me to do it from afar as well as looking after the child/ren that I have at the time.
He is manipulative and volatile and at the moment I’m not ready to tell him to sort his own shit out or see a solicitor / arrange a parenting plan etc so need a handful of carefully crafted responses I can give which don’t require me to actually fix everything for him from a distance but he can’t accuse me of ignoring him and abandoning the children in their hour of need.
Any support gratefully received.
Thanks 😊