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Original poster

I want to go home.

14 replies

TheTwirlyPoos · 07/08/2024 06:07

On a week long UK break.
My mum has just died and I'm trying to deal with my siblings and funeral arrangements.
DH has to work (we knew he would) so he is working at the house while I have the kids, aided by their two godparents
Kids are sharing a room which they don't usually do. They are OK but waking up early - 5.40 today.
Kids have done nothing but moan, whinge, cry, nag for the next ice cream etc etc. DS is autistic and is having a rough patch
I'm exhausted. I thought this would be a nice change of scenery but I'm utterly sick of the negotiating, whining, loud crying. They have colds which isn't heplful.

I dread the days sometimes. And this week is really bad.

OP posts:

Tiredeveryday · 07/08/2024 06:13

I am sorry to hear about your mum xx.

Is there anyway you could go home?

Original poster

TheTwirlyPoos · 07/08/2024 06:14

We could but we are here with their godparents and they'd be so disappointed.

OP posts:

Doingmybest12 · 07/08/2024 06:18

Could they have the children for a couple of nights and you go home early? Can your husband have a couple of days off and you go home?

Original poster

TheTwirlyPoos · 07/08/2024 06:19

No, DH has a lot of work on atm he needs to keep going.
Godparents aren't able to have the kids by themselves.
There isn't really any answer to the situation I'm just dreading getting up today.

OP posts:

GoSummer676 · 07/08/2024 06:20

All those issues ( I get it as my youngest child is autistic but now 13) would have you feeling the same at home. What would you do at home to manage them? We’d have a slob day to reduce “inputs” so Dd could re-regulate herself but if she’s got a cold or feeling tired nothing helps much until she’s rested again. Can you mix up sleeping arrangements so they get more sleep? Reduce expectations on holiday throw some money at extra distractions or let them have more gaming time? Or come home early as we have done on a few occasions for the same reasons.

Ellerby83 · 07/08/2024 06:23

Sorry for your loss. If you want to go home I think you should. Their godparents disappointment isn't the most important issue here. They are lucky you came at all in the circumstances. Xx

sunsetsandboardwalks · 07/08/2024 06:29

Go home!

If the godparents can't understand that the death of a parent means plans have to change, then they're not good people.

I'm so sorry for your loss

Original poster

TheTwirlyPoos · 07/08/2024 06:37

They've both just been diagnosed with cancer, they are dealing with their own stuff and theyd be gutted.
I'll just use the TV more. Try and be even clearer with DS about expectations and take them for a drive to have a sleep at lunch.

OP posts:

Pickled21 · 07/08/2024 07:24

Why do the kids have to share? I'd jump in with one and have the other share with your dh. That way they might get more of a sleep. I'd also make sure you are in bed by a reasonable time. I appreciate it's meant to be a break but if you've got a long day ahead with little kids that are overtired, whiny and feeling poorly then you need to arm yourself as best as you can. For now I'd put your best foot forward if you want to. Personally I'd be heading home to grieve as I wanted. Next time though, don't plan a break with your dh if he can't be properly present due to work.

You are putting everyone first but yourself. You've lost a parent, you need to be kind to yourself and if you'd rather be at home then that is where you should be. So sorry for your loss. x

Original poster

TheTwirlyPoos · 07/08/2024 07:31

Thanks everyone
I'm torn with the sharing, they don't usually but we are going away for a fortnight in October and they will be sharing then so I feel like we need to practice.

We came here in may as a holiday and the weather was rubbish, so I suggested to DH that we come away now, even though he is working, to break up the six weeks. Today I just need to let them watch TV and go easy I think. You're right re early nights, it was gone eleven last night and I'm tired.

OP posts:

GoSummer676 · 07/08/2024 08:06

Sounds like a plan just chill and reset- we used to have to take our DD on rides in the bike trailer (when camping) on holiday just to get her to nap or drive to the “garden centre” ….she never got there was always so so tired was asleep within 5mins normally but just couldn’t switch off. I’d just doze with a cuppaT and a book enjoying that 45-90mins peace n quiet on those days. I hope a quiet day helps maybe the godparents can go out for few hours to give you all some space from each other to recharge.

GoSummer676 · 07/08/2024 08:09

I really wouldn’t stress about sharing honestly do whatever works to get them to sleep and life becomes easier for everyone. Mine are now teens so I’ve been through that loop many times it’s not worth it just do what works for you right now, the rest will work itself out. Big MN hug too sorry for your loss it’s really not easy.

sunsetsandboardwalks · 07/08/2024 08:45

I wouldn't even think about arrangements for October - if they have to share then they'll have to, but just make life as easy as possible for yourself for the moment.

I also agree with PP that you seem to be worrying more about everyone else than yourself - if you feel you need to be at home then go, any decent person would understand that, cancer diagnosis or not.

LIZS · 07/08/2024 08:52

Surely they would understand that you have too many things going on and it might be better for you to go home, even if disappointed. Would the gp manage to take the dc put for a short while, to a park to give you time to think. Could dh take them out at lunchtime or after working? How far away from home are you?

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