Is it possible to work full time when you have no relatives to help?

[BeFreed]

BeFreed · Today 09:55
So, to cut a long story short, it looks like I need to get a full time job. I have worked part time since my children were born. My husband works very long hours. My children are 12 and 9. I am panicking because I have no idea how I will manage childcare in the school holidays. I am in the UK if this makes a difference- not many holiday clubs take those in secondary school and my youngest does not want to go without his brother. Genuinely- how do people manage the holidays? Term time should be ok, my 12 year old can come home alone and the youngest has after school clubs but I have no idea how I can manage in the holidays. We have literally nobody to help us. My parents are abusive and I can’t ask them, besides they wouldn’t help and my husbands parents are elderly and infirm- they might do one or two days but that would be it (they also live several hours away so it wouldn’t be realistic apart from a couple of days once or twice a year). My sister works full time. My friends work full time and don’t have kids or they are stay at home mums but wouldn’t want to help as they are always busy or on holiday. I feel sick thinking about it. Even if my new employer let me work from home, I don’t see how this would work over the summer as I couldn’t take them anywhere and I don’t want them to spend weeks on end in front of their X boxes. Genuinely- how do people manage? It’s been hard enough juggling childcare for a few days a week- I have no idea how we would manage for 5 days.

Yes it’s possible - plenty of people have to do it
It’s not easy
your kids will have to manage holiday clubs even if they don’t love them
i used a school holiday childminder which worked well
I used annual leave; clubs; CM and the odd day which a friend would step in
You have to be super organised
could your DH use leave for some days

barracudas holiday club takes kids up to 16 (or they used to)

find a babysitter or local student who can help - obviously interview them first

its going to cost money but it can be done

also you won’t have too long to do this as your youngest will be at senior school in 3 ish years too

you can also take unpaid parental leave

You send your youngest to holiday clubs without his brother and say 'you are too young to stay at home'.
You and your DH stagger your holidays to cover as much of the school holidays as possible.
You and your DH both take unpaid parental leave during the holidays.
You and your DH both WFH as much as possible during the holidays and accept that on those days there will be more electronic device usage. Or you hide the X box controls to make them do other things.

They just have to suck it up. We (and they) can't have life as we want it all the time.

It's hard, but they'll survive.

There's the option of parental leave (max 4 weeks a year) but it's unpaid which might not work for you.

Your youngest goes to holiday club whether he likes it or not.

I'd hold off starting work until September, which means you don't have to worry about this summer holiday. By next summer holiday (which if the really difficult one) your oldest will be 13, likely sleeping in until lunch time and be fine on his own.

For the other holidays, you and your DH need to work flexibly if you can (e.g. one starting early to finish early); beg favours off DS's friends' parents (obviously return the favour) and spread your leave thinly. If you can take half days, this can work well.

There are a huge number of families where both work full time and they have no relatives to help. You've been lucky not to have to do it so far.

At 12 and 9 we would have just been left alone at home.

Ideal? No. Fine? Yes.

Holiday clubs, annual leave, friends, flexible working, WFH days etc.

It is very straightforward when they are in primary school (summer clubs) but I must say I am wondering how it will work in the early years of secondary. There are clubs here that take children up to 14 but I don't know how many 13 year olds are actually willing to go.