Anyone else dread going on holiday with their family?

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can I start by saying yes I know I’m lucky to be going on holiday.

But I’m dreading it, the idea of it is just making me feel really anxious and depressed. We always want to different things, DH just irritates me (which TBF I think I do him too) I think it just highlights that we don’t have much in common and our parenting styles are quite different. Kids are teens and good kids but can get quite moany on holiday which also annoys me.

sorry, I know it’s the ultimate first world problem but genuinely really not looking to it.

🙋‍♀️
I know exactly what you mean. We are currently on day two. I was (foolishly) looking forward to it but everyone's getting on each other's nerves and the weather is shit which doesn't help. Just woken up to torrential rain so looking forward to another day in the house avoiding each other.

Oh no, well we do at least have good weather, I suppose although just remembering last year and spent a fortune on a gorgeous villa with a pool and DH hardly went in it and spent most of his time indoors and DC kept arguing when they went it for some reason.

I hope yours improves, I am going to pack a stack of books and hopefully that will get me through it.

I am really looking forward to time when I can go on separate hols with DC.

I get like that too, but this year not so much thankfully. We clash about it, different preferences of location and styles of holidays and a lot of the tension is there before we leave. A lot of the cause of my stress is the fact that i dont even want to do what we are doing in the first place but going along to please people. I feel I compromise too much and dh gets his way, then there is the huge compromise we both make to go somewhere that suits the kids, there are aspects of it that we both hate and resent a bit as it costs so much. Older ds makes everything difficult, starting stupid arguments and complaining about nothing, he does this no matter what we do. Many of the things i get anxious about are based on bad experiences on previous holidays so not totally irrational and dh completely dismisses them and tells me to get over it and aren't I lucky to be here etc.

I’m sorry, it’s shit isn’t it.

i hate the pressure to feel like im having such a great time too. Secretly (although not amongst my fellow mumsnetters) I wish I could stay home and have the house to myself and the cat for a week.

I don't think it's a First World problem. I think it's fundamental. If you don't enjoy being with each other when you remove work, housework, pressures and so on, do you enjoy being with each other at all?

It could be that the choice of holiday is important. DH and I had to work out what we could both enjoy. But if it's that you really don't like spending time together, that's probably a sign.

These tips work... they are from an anger management workshop.

The LOO.
Before an argument gets too heated say you need the loo. Sit there think about what you really want to say.

The Agreeing for the win..
The kids. Give them spending money each day. Keep it in their own purses, but in your bag.
Kids want something... simply take out their purse. Show them how much they have. Oh sorry you don't have enough. Or check they want to spend it. So long as not dangerous let them...
Him, I want to go to x.
You. Oh yes, I agree x sounds nice, can we go after dinner, or you go , I want to go to y. Let's meet at Z about time.
Or I agree x looks great however it is too steep, dangerous or expensive.
Him but I want to go.

You, well yes it would be nice what do I need, x amount for food, y and z cost this much. If you can do it on £50 then yes we can go.
If your children won't get up leave them in bed... then treat yourself to a massive breakfast.

Yes I know and something I know needs addressing. I suppose easier to put my head in the sand on a day to day.

These are great. Thank you.

I can't afford to go on holiday anymore due to a divorce and all the money having been mysteriously spent.

However, when I could, I too dreaded it.

The dcs' constant moaning about everything. Their arguing.

Ex h's vanishing acts (he was on the 'phone to his current gf at each time) and then total detachment for the rest of the holiday.

Just horrible. I am kind of glad I can't afford it anymore.

Needs addressing, tetchy parents, dodgy atmosphere, no wonder the kids are grumpy...

All I'm going to say is if it's this bad now, retirement!

My DH worked from home PT with lots of trips but even then it took time to adjust to him retired and here all the time and we get on great.

I think a solution is for everyone to do their own thing during the day

Then it's more interesting in the evening. I also have teens and my husband hates being on his own but got used to it this year. I love walking whichever way the wind blows and he likes organised trips. Kids like pool and sunbathing with a bit of football and one will join with a parent 50%of the time. It's definitely made holidays a bit more enjoyable.

That's such good advice ❤️

I don't think this is just a minor problem. I believe it's very important. If you don't enjoy each other's company when you take away work, chores, and stress, do you really like being together at all? Professional service is needed.

Yep

Similar reasons to you.

I've talked to my husband about expectations this year and what I need out of our holiday.

The packing is the start of the stress 😬