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4yo nightmare bedtime

4 replies

maaama · 03/08/2024 20:19

Looking for some advice on bedtime for my almost 5yo.
We've had the same bedtime routine for the past few months and it's worked fine but the past month or so from the minute she's told it's time to get ready for bed the carry on begins.
she does everything to avoid getting pyjamas on, drags out tooth brushing, wants a story but won't choose one/doesn't want anyone else to choose one for her, runs around grabbing at or hitting her sibling and starts hysterically laughing when they get upset or she's told off for it.
tantrums then begin if it isn't the parent doing bed that she wants to do it (me and DH take turns each night, she has a visual for this so knows exactly who is on the next night as I thought that might help), basically whoever it is she wants to opposite so every single night is a tantrum over this. she starts screaming at the top of her voice to keep her sibling awake, hitting and kicking us, throwing toys and slamming doors. If she's removed from the bedroom until she calms down she just gets louder and more violent towards us.
I've tried switching up routine, earlier bedtime incase she's over tired, later bedtime incase she's not tired enough, no screen time at all in the day because that can majorly affect behaviour, she gets a count down before the bedtime routine begins (10 mins, 5 mins, 2 mins) so she isn't just dragged away from what she's playing with. I've tried putting her sibling down to bed and letting her stay up while I do that so she can have the choice of each of us for bedtime but she just kicks off and wakes them up (she finds this hilarious). When we eventually do calm her down and get her into bed she's up a few hours later and crawling in beside us which she hasn't done for months either. It's been every single night for a month and I am exhausted I don't know how to get her out of it, I absolutely dread starting the bedtime routine because I'm waiting for the moment it begins.
Sorry that was longer than I thought it would be but doesn't anyone have any advice for this tired mum?

OP posts:
Sunshineafterthehail · 03/08/2024 20:21

The best behaved dc would be the one to stay up later...

maaama · 03/08/2024 20:25

@Sunshineafterthehail yes in an ideal situation that's what I'd do but they are younger, tired and ready for bed most nights by 7pm so I can't keep them up any later

OP posts:
Blossomsea · 03/08/2024 21:23

Here for the advice too!

I feel for you, I could have written this word for word except our daughter is about to turn 4.

No idea what's happened these last few months, I too dread bedtimes as it's a two hour 💩 show.

Hoping it's just a phase.

The joys.

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maaama · 03/08/2024 22:33

@Blossomsea I'm sorry it's so hard isn't it! I'm glad it isn't just me though! Sat in a dark room for an hour after finally finishing bedtime tonight, my ears were ringing and I was drained 😴

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