I've handed in my notice and now all I want to do is cry.

[yesornothatisthequestion]

Has anyone else ever felt like this after handing in their notice and can reassure me that it didn't turn out to be a huge mistake?

I've handed in my notice after ten years at current workplace. It's a sideways move to a much less prestigious firm. Moving due to change of management in my team and a resulting toxic culture. There aren't any vacancies in other teams. Ive been looking for a couple of months.

I'm so relieved to escape but yet I am so so so sad. My appetite has decreased and I just feel like I could burst into tears at any moment.

Am I just in shock because up until a few months ago I thought I'd stay here for my whole career (and I am doing really well here and am very well regarded) or is this my body's way of telling me I've made a huge mistake? I'm so proud of my current position as it's never a position I thought I'd achieve and I can comfortably support DS (single parent) so maybe it's a bit of fear or losing that comfort blanket and going into the unknown?

If anybody has been through similar and can offer any words of wisdom, reassurance or comfort I'd hugely appreciate it.

I've done it a couple of times now, due to the impact work was having on my well being. Sometimes I have moments where I wonder "what if I'd been able to stick with it" but mostly I realised how big an impact it was having on my health without me realising. I've not progressed much further and earn around the same, but I am happier and less tense and stressed.

I'm sure you've done the right thing. Good luck.

@wenlilifac thank you! That's a good point actually. Even prior to the management change (which I'm gutted about) I'd been suffering quite severely with stress and anxiety and was actually just about to start counselling for that. However my new employer won't continue my current healthcare policy and I don't fancy paying privately.

Maybe I'll get better and then lose all this weight I've gained in the last year!

I'm feeling exactly the same way. Slightly different circumstances as my company are TUPEing over half their business to a new company who I didn't want to work for. So I've got a new job with the part business which will remain (hope that makes sense)

Thing is if I wasn't being TUPEd I'd never have been job hunting so I feel a little like I've been forced to leave a job I loved, and colleagues I get on really well with. The new team im moving to is remote and also a tiny team spread between Scotland and England so I'm worrying about that too.

You are in a grieving process. Yes, it is normal. And there is no reason why you cannot find a better, happier place ( like me). I always cry but this time did not feel that bad

Focus on the reasons for making the move and the impact on you and your family. Write it down and keep it somewhere to read and remind yourself of why you made this decision - a tool to ground you when you are feeling wobbly and nervous.

Making a decision like this is a big thing and you've made this decision for you and what's best for your family and your wellbeing. You know you needed this change and you deserve to be happy, less stressed and anxious! Congratulations on your new job, am sure you'll be amazing!

I think you are making the right choice but it's natural to be upset.

This is such a wonderful idea and I'm going to do that immediately.

10 years as long enough in any workplace. Onwards and upwards, you will be a fresh face and you have the opportunity to reinvent your brand the way that you would like to be perceived - how very exciting for you.

They say a change is better than a rest and you decided to leave for good reasons. There may well be new opportunities at your new firm, it sounds like your mental health has been suffering and the tears may be of relief as well? Good luck!

I really didn't like my job, mainly due to the seeming impossibility of achieving anything. I was thinking of sticking with it - up until the moment I had a health scare and I had to ask myself: if this is my last year on earth, do I want to spend it doing this? Fortunately the health scare is not as serious as it might have been but I resigned anyway. I haven't stopped smiling since.

I LOVED my old job and my organisation - but like your situation, it became untenable after a slight switch in direction and change of management. I was regularly coming home from work in tears. I have a new job now elsewhere, which is less stressful and kinder but I don't have the sense of pride in my workplace and I'm not earning as much as I was. But I'm happier and more fulfilled overall.

I am so glad I posted on here tonight. I can't tell you how much each and every message is helping. I keep re-reading them.

@AuntieJoyce I like the idea of focusing on my new brand. You may see a future post from me asking for thoughts on that!

@Willowkins I relate so much to your comment about it being seemingly impossible to get everything done. I work so many extra hours just to try to keep on top of the urgent work but there is so much else I'd like to achieve but haven't been able to. I struggle with this because I truly love my role and want to do my very best. I think that's probably why I've been suffering with stress and anxiety though.

@NightBirdy -How have you found it not having the same sense of pride in your new work? This is something I'm concerned about. When I've shared with people where I'm going and what I'll be doing they are all a bit surprised as it isn't an impressive move by any stretch. I'll also be taken a ten percent pay cut and the benefits are quite reduced so I will feel the hit for sure.

It’s a scary time! It was me a year ago I left a role after 12 years in the company. Was hard as I was leaving people who are friends - and we still are and chat regularly!

But no regrets a year later I love my new role and company. The change was needed - I wasn’t progressing anymore in my previous role and no where for me to go, changes meant a more toxic environment. It also given my the confidence that if this doesn’t work out I can move on again & it will be ok.

That's so reassuring you had no regrets after 12 years!

I resigned 2 weeks ago. I don't enjoy working at my current employer and am off to do something totally different. Yes I am really nervous but know that the new opportunity will be brilliant for me. I am off to do a Masters in a subject I really am passionate about. I suppose it is a way of moving from employment to part retirement. A little early, but honestly I could tell I wasn't happy at work this year - so snappy with people and disinterested. Best of luck to you with your move!

@socialdilemmawhattodo that's a great move, congratulations.

I hear what you say about realising you're unhappy and I really relate to that. I'm not snappy at work but it definitely follows me home, the agitation and stress, and I notice I'm uncharacteristically impatient with DS.

I felt perfectly fine, rather excited in fact, after handing my notice in - I had been dreading exactly this feeling - and it has been a mistake for me. My point is that emotions around giving notice don’t really have anything much to do with the new opportunity.

Even though I’m not in a great place right now, I do still feel I had valid reasons for leaving my old employer. I just think this particular role isn’t the right one and I’m looking for something else. It’s not ideal, but nor is it the end of the world.

Don’t read too much into how you feel right now.

There may be some sadness but also it could be relief? Good luck in ur new post.

Moving due to change of management in my team and a resulting toxic culture

I'm so relieved to escape

These stand out to me that you haven't made a mistake, you're just a tad nervous about change.

Is the job title and wage the same or have you had to make a compromise?
If yes, you're allowed to mourn that.
If no, it's just a wobble love. You'll be fine once you're into the swing of it Xx

I'll also be taken a ten percent pay cut and the benefits are quite reduced so I will feel the hit for sure
You are allowed to be a bit miffed/grieve these.
However, toxic + relieved = best to be outta there!

@GeraniumLeaves that's a good perspective, thank you for sharing. I hope you find what you're looking for soon.

@BehindTheSequinsandStilettos I feel like I know you're right, deep down, I just have to keep telling myself that. But yes I am a bit gutted to take the cut in salary and it will realistically take me a few years to get back up to it.