Please let me vent.

[AnotherCountryMummy]

I'm so so so sick of being physically assaulted by my toddler. Scratched, punched, hit, pinched, kicked, objects thrown at me.

Every fucking day.

Apparently he's good as gold at nursery. They were shocked to learn about his behaviour at home.

I work full time and I miss him. But boy, it's taking the joy out of parenting when the time I do spend with him is utterly miserable.

That's all.

You need to toughen up and work out what is going on and how to fix it

It's will be short term hard for long term gain

Ideally find out the why -is he just tired / exhausted , hungry , is he stressed that you might not collect him , or unhappy with something - often great behaviour at nursery and trouble at home often means he feels he can express himself at home with you ( it's a sign of love and trust !) and is on best behaviour at nursery

And also very strict consequences - every time you hit its sit on the stairs / time out to calm down ( with a big bear hug if you feel that helps him) ( it's hard for them to hit when being hugged as well )

And have a hug

How old is he? It's a slog with toddlers, they are too young to really reason with and they do take their daily frustrations out on their safe person. I think you just have to be relentlessly persistent with the moving hands away and explaining that we don't hit, removing from situations when behaviour is out of control etc - use the same words every time and be really consistent. I know it feels like it's having no effect, but it's often darkest before dawn, and they do eventually get it. How's his speech? Mine were both bloody awful just before a big spurt in speech development, because their understanding outstripped their ability to communicate and the frustration just kept boiling over.

And don't beat yourself up for not "enjoying him". No sane person enjoys being beaten up and having to repeat themselves constantly! All kids go through grotty phases, nobody enjoys all of it.

I genuinely thought mine hated me at that age I was regularly attacked.

I think you need to look at why he’s doing it- is it to get your attention because your busy doing dinner/cleaning up/organising/on your phone?

help him to recognise those feelings “hey x I know your feeling angry/tired/frustrayed and that’s okay. Let’s see what we can do…..”

I have started to say to my son “I know you want to explore but it’s not safe there, let’s go explore this/over here” and then doing something safe (he loves climbing on anything right now) and I am already finding he’s listening better.

once you know why he’s doing it you can address it and find ways for him to express it without the outbursts

Thanks all. He's just 3 with really good speech.

I usually try and help him articulate, for example "it looks like you're feeling frustrated, but we don't hit because it's not kind".

If I put him somewhere to calm down, he'll destroy the area he's in. It's so exhausting.

Sometimes it seems to be for absolutely no reason apart from his enjoyment. Like today, he was playing and then came over and hit me for seemingly no reason.

Timeout with him with hugs then he can't destroy anything ?