Husband has been emotionally abusive snd controlling
he’s not the jealous type
im controlled through videos he has of me of the past where i scratch him trying to take the phone off him, or spanked his arm when he would emotionally abuse me
he’s always been unempathetic, not understanding of my autism and depression , denial about autism
he says I’m bossy and demanding and sometimes come downstairs and ask him while he’s asleep why he didn’t load the dishwasher night before
with post natal depression I’m very irritable
he says if I tell people anything to restrict his access to the kids he will show the videos and try to take the kids off me and try to get 50% or the house despite being 20% his share on the deeds
he has paid bills while I’ve saved my income
but I do spend on kids clothes toys and holidays
he said that makes me financially abusive and allows him to get a great share of the house . He wants the child benefit money to go to the joint account every month as he buys food for the kids from it
he has a job
I don’t know what to do
The older kids like him he plays with them
they only said to social worker he raises his voice
I’ve told my health professionals about him and he said I have to tell them I lied to him by promising to visit his family if we had another baby and take back anything
baby is 7m now
I own the house 80%
I don’t know what a decent financial agreement would look like as we don’t want to spend on disclosure
I have 40k savings he has 21k savings and a job where he earns 34k.
I have my pip disability payments
I have nightmares at night toss and turn that im not making the right decision
I feel we have a trauma bond