I think I have an eating disorder what do I do ? Can I deal with it myself?

[AvoidantRestrictive]

If I see the GP will it open a can of worms and will they question my parenting ability or anything like that?

I have ASD and I think I have ARFID. I’ve always had a limited diet, struggled with textures etc. it’s just getting progressively worse and I’ve found now that I’m experiencing autistic burnout and some days I just can’t eat, so I’m losing weight (5lb this last week) in the last year 2 stone total. I wasn’t big to start with.

I thinking I can either go to the gp but what can they even do or do I find private counselling and/or try to adjust my intake just by eating more safe foods but it’s the days where I’m so overwhelmed I can’t eat that worry me. My dc have regular meals and snacks and I never even speak about this near them but obviously sometimes they see I’m not eating and even when I do I have to eat in a separate room they eat meals with DP.

My safe foods are toast, chicken nuggets, chips, bananas, melted strawberry ice cream . I can’t even think about adding more things I keep buying Greek yogurt and full fat milk intending to make a banana smoothie but then I can’t but I think I need to try and wait to see the gp?

Go to your GP.

I’m anxious to I’m not sure what the procedures are and what they’ll do ? I don’t know if they’ll understand ARFID. As a teenager I was diagnosed with anorexia which it wasn’t and I don’t want to go back to that situation but that was just before I had my autism diagnosis so maybe things are better now.

I think the trigger has been just over a year ago a new job which is stressful and in the last couple of weeks it’s the summer holidays this happened last year too as term time with dc in school it’s not as stressful ?

I am pretty sure they won't question your parenting ability, but let's wait for someone with experience of ARFID to come along and reassure you.

On my gp app the next appt is 15 aug so I’ve booked that and I’m the meantime I’m going to try to make high calorie
smoothies but out of my ice cream and bananas as they thought of using new foods to do that makes me so stressed but if I add a few of those each day maybe it will feel like a quick drink not a meal and I can zone out while I have it to not over think ?

See your GP. If you can afford it go to a private counsellor. Your GP might recommend one. There will probably be a waiting list if you go NHS and you may not get many sessions. I don't think you can deal with it yourself as you have tried.

I feel quite damaged by the way so many years ago my eating issues were so misunderstood, I assume it’s not that way any more and everyone is more educated about ASD in women and how these things are connected ? I just woke up today with acid reflux/stomachache because I couldn’t eat yesterday and I need to do something but I don’t know what

How would you feel about adding in one of those high calorie powders to a shake?

They might send you to a dietician I don't think it will open anything concerning your parenting or your children's health they are eating fine, keep with your safe food that's OK and make an appointment, explain factually like you have here and it will be fine.

I think I’d have to find something ready made liquid as the thought of a powder potentially not dissolving properly and leaving lumps is my worst nightmare, I will have a look for something if it’s liquid and smooth it could work.

I think one of my at Dds had/has AFRID at the time it was put down to "fussy eating " I just fed her what she would eat then of course I was seen as pandering to the fussy eating, I wasn't bothered though as long as she ate what she could manage.

That's great you've got an appointment as you know yourself there is limited nutrition in what you are eating and you need to eat more and better.

If it's a stressful job that's triggering this can that be addressed? Could you speak with your line manager about the aspects of the role that you find stressful preferably with solutions?

eg Monday morning 9am team meeting is stressful as Ive not had a chance to read emails so not sure what's happening in my team. Solution - move team meeting to 9.30am.
Or whatever.

Childcare is stressful and exhausting over the holidays. What can be done to help with that?

Here’s some information on the cancer research website. About nutritious high calorie drinks. There are some ready made ones if you page down. Could keep you going until you see your GP?
www.cancerresearchuk.org/about-cancer/coping/physically/diet-problems/managing/putting-on-weight/high-calorie-drinks

You can get protein yoghurt so no lumps.

How about contacting BEAT the Eating Disorder charity and see if they have support they can offer you?

It's great that you have recognised there is an issue so well done for that :)

https://www.beateatingdisorders.org.uk/

Hope this is helpful :)

See if you cab eat some toast for the acid reflux, Do you take any indigestion remedies,?

I know a couple of people who are dealing with ARFID. A dietician is helping them maintain weight in both their cases - the GP would make appropriate referrals.

No I think I might need something though I can manage tablets but I’d have to see the texture of liquid ones I think texture is my biggest issue

Try nexium they are just 1 a day OR gaviscon guardian which I think is 1 a day, but the gp can prescribe something.

I am another one recommending that you contact BEAT.

Do you have a nutribullet? They grind up anything and everything so no danger of lumps.

I have mild issues too with tablets and open all my supplements and pour the powders into my nutribullet with protein powder and full fat Greek yoghurt and full fat milk and sometimes a banana too and it is always very smooth and tasty and if I don’t manage much else in the day I don’t feel faint at least.

What do you eat on the toast? Nothing at all? Just butter? You could add some extra calories by being extra generous with the butter. I sometimes like to make toast and then cut it up into small squares and put it in a bowl (sound daft when I write it down!). I snack on little squares of toast as if they were crisps. Might be a good way to get calories in without it being overwhelming.

I am a clin psy, currently working in forensics but I have worked a lot with adults with autism many of whom having ED including ARFID.

I do not think your GP will see this as a safeguarding issue. I would not. You clearly say you can see your own eating is disordered and are providing a nutritious diet for your children which is what matters.

I agree that seeing a dietician with experience of ARFID could be helpful to you - they could help you identify what your diet is deficient in and how you could extend that range of safe foods. Your range of safe foods seems very typical for ARFID and you are already doing what we would suggest - exploring nutritious shakes etc. Doing this with a dietician for support, possibly using some protein shakes and supplements to maintain your calorie intake in the meantime will help.

It is important to keep your calorie intake up. You are losing weight quite fast so it is very sensible to focus on your safe foods for now and just try and maintain your energy intake. When your body starts to lose weight as you are now it puts you under physical and psychological strain and that reduces appetite further. So any amount of nibbling a safe food is good. Find quiet times of day, a safe spaces to eat, music that helps you relax and focus on just eating what you feel comfortable eating.

More generally, it will help your GP and any counsellor to have a sense of your stressors. Clearly for this to have escalated so much your stress must be high right now and finding alternative strategies for managing that is really important. You may need some time off work for the autistic burnout or some help with childcare to enable you to fully recover. Its important to focus on the restricted eating as a symptom of the burnout you are experiencing, rather than problematise the eating alone, which could just reinforce it.

It is really tough eating when your appetite is reduced. I have experienced it myself after illness so be really gentle and focus on trying to eat every day and praise yourself for that. Don't get trapped in a cycle of self-criticism for eating a limited range of food as that only increases burnout and you have quite enough to deal with.

Thankyou so so much. This is all so helpful and reassuring thankyou

Please go to your GP...sending you my thoughts!