For context: I'm very close to my DM and consider her a friend.
At weekend I hosted a party for my DD. It was a couple of hours long at a hired venue and I spent most of that rushing round making sure everything went well. That was fine by me, I enjoy being in control of things. Several people told me what a great event it was and how organised I am/how well I do at these things. I felt proud of putting on a nice event for my DD and guests.
My DM was there and DH. They both did their part but mostly leave me to it, which again is fine by me. I do recall DM saying she couldn't make jugs of cordial though when I asked if she could help, she said she wouldn't know how to do it?! I didn't comment though and just made them myself later on.
Anyway, it was tidy up time and a family friend (FF) from DH side offered to help in the kitchen with me. DM was there too and she works at the place although not in the kitchens, but generally knows where things are. I asked which of the 3 sinks was best to wash up in and could sense a sarcastic tone when she responded and said I can use any. So I went to the sink and FF did too saying she would dry up. DM was hovering over us while we figured out where everything was but not actually telling us anything. There was no plug in sight or washing up liquid... She rudely told me I didn't need a plug (???) - I eventually found and used one. And then we tried to find washing up liquid which was in a cupboard beneath the drainer, FF found it first and DM remarked "It's a good job you're here, Vitahelp is hopeless". Note: she also used my full name, think Alexandra rather than Alex. Luckily FF responded "No she isn't' and DM them said something along the lines of "well look at her, she's flapping around not getting anything done". I was stood right there, yet she was talking like I wasn't in the room! She then brought the cake knife over and said "I don't think Vitahelp can be trusted to wash this, perhaps you should do it FF". I cook everything from scratch at home and use and wash knives every day?!
I took it in my stride at the time as just wanted to get things done. But after the event I felt quite upset/shaken and like she really put a dampener on what had been a lovely day. A few of us went for a coffee afterwards and FF brought it up and said she had been taken by surprise at what was said and hoped she had responded in the right way.
For context, DM has very occasionally put me down in the past but I'm talking once a year and usually when I have done something a bit daft and not usually in front of anyone else. This time was different because I hadn't done anything silly in fact I'd just pulled off a great event and put a lot of effort in. Also he fact it was in front of someone else who she hasn't met that many times. I can't believe the way she did it, addressing it to FF as though I wasn't even there?!
Anyway I think I just want to rant, as I know what I should be doing is telling her all of this but I just don't feel like doing that. Anyone got any similar tales?