Tell me I can do this please

[Shoeboxcat]

I'm approaching 50 and have been out of the workplace for almost 20 years due to a combination of caring responsibilities and my own MH issues. I don't have any qualifications beyond GCSE and didn't really have a career before, more a series of jobs, mostly admin plus some retail work. I'd say I'm reasonably intelligent, was a straight A student til midway through senior school when I went off the rails somewhat, it's become apparent through my DD's autism diagnosis that I'm probably ND and this seems common among autistic girls.

I now need/want to return to work, we need the money (DH supports us currently but COL is biting) and if I could get past the fear I do want a new chapter for myself, I've been bottom of the priority list for a long time and it would be nice to do something just for me. But I'm terrified, I've been pretty much tied to the house in recent years and have become a bit scared of the outside world if I'm honest. I also have no faith in my own abilities, I'm worried I'll be utterly useless even if I do manage to secure a job and even more worried that no employer will take a chance on me in the first place.

I'm not looking for any advice really, just maybe a bit of cheerleading/handholding to convince me I can actually do this and I'm not completely useless and unemployable. I do feel a bit like my brain has atrophied from lack of use so there is genuine concern that I'm just not going to be able to do this.

You absolutely have this. The fact you are going outside of your comfort zone shows that you are in the right mindset. I'm in a similar position in that my DD's diagnosis has flagged some 'quirks' that are probably markers for me being ND.

I'm shaking my Pom Poms here for you .

You can 100% do this. And I bet you will find that you really enjoy it - something for you, focused on you, challenging yourself. Good luck, go smash this!

You absolutely can do this! I am ND, very sound adverse and need lots of alone time; I thought I couldn’t do it, and have struggled with jobs - finally (at age 51, mind you!)
found a job in a library that, while it isn’t perfect and it has it’s challenges, is something I LOVE, and my coworkers are mostly ND as well. The company supports ND people, and I feel safe.

I only work part time- 20 hrs a week- and I’m going back to school to become a librarian :)

my stamina has built up over time, so I feel just find taking substitute shifts and working 30 hours a week.

workplaces do have their challenges, but if you give yourself time and do what you need to do to find ways to cope, things get easier. I have earplugs my workplace lets me wear , just to tone things down. Another example - I found that taking breaks in a quiet space and listening to nature sounds on headphones during those breaks helps me regulate my system on long days.

things like this - you’ll find things for your “toolbox” that will help, and eventually when a workplace becomes familiar, it doesn’t take as much toll on the system.

you can leave a job if you hate it. I’d say give workplaces some time, because things can seem harder in the beginning.

best Of luck, OP! You can do this :) it could even be fun - this has been fun and exciting for me, and I wish the same for you.

ps I got an award from my workplace after one month in the job, and it made me cry tears of gratitude - it felt so wonderful to be recognized and valued . I wish this for you.

Thanks so much for the cheerleading, it's exactly what I need. I've actually seen something I think would be perfect as a first step back in, it's only one day a week doing what sounds like really basic admin for a care company for adults with learning disabilities. I don't really want to go back to office work, I'd like to do something that helps people ideally but I'm struggling to find anything in that line that doesn't need either qualifications or a driving license/own car, none of which I have so this seems like a good compromise, and you never know where things will lead. Got some quiet time tomorrow so planning to do my application then, wish me luck, and courage

Some of the best people hardest workers I've worked with were ladies in your situation one lady very like you came back to work and she was far better at her job than some people in the office that far out ranked her made my blood boil as she was paid far less but she was so capable and loved her job, you can absolutely do it , it will take a little while to settle into a new job but then it will become second nature