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Help me to exercise!

13 replies

Italianasoitis · 29/07/2024 11:28

I was a chubby, unfit, socially anxious and incredibly self conscious teenager and the only exercise I ever did was in PE. The PE teacher hated me and would always make an example out of me.

In my 20s I lost stones in weight from dieting alone. In my 30s I was constantly pregnant or breastfeeding, but managed to lose most of the baby weight from 3 pregnancies through diet alone.

Now I'm 41, am finished having babies and while I'm not overweight, at around 60kg/5 foot 4, I am pure flab. Everywhere wobbles, you can grab a handful of fat anywhere on my body and I actually feel the fat around my thighs weighing me down like I'm wearing some kind of prosthetic.

I've had a bad year with a combination of suspected long covid, stress and the start of perimenopause. I've found that when I eat more calories that I usually eat to stay slim, I feel better. My physical health has vastly improved since I started eating whatever I want, but obviously this has led to weight gain.

I want to tone up, be healthy and strong and keep my weight down. The problem is I absolutely despise exercise and I feel like it goes beyond not enjoying pushing myself. Once I get to that point where I feel prickly and sweaty, I start to experience a sense of rage and nausea. I do think it's linked to my former experiences with PE.

My husband says that I should start going for walks and add ankle weights, and incorporate doing some small exercises within my existing routine. So, this morning, I did 3x 20 reps of squats while I moisturised and put my foundation on. I started getting that prickly, sweaty feeling and some kind of switch in my brain flicked and I felt so angry and like I wanted to scream. I had a shower and felt better afterwards.

I can't do anything that involves running or jumping due to some childbirth related pelvic issues. I'm so unco-ordinated that I have cried after exercises classes with shame. I've tried yoga and pilates and for various reasons, that didn't work either. I hate things that are floor based due to having an allergy brought on by carpets growing up too (I sound so pathetic!!!)

I can't describe how much I hate exercise but I want to be healthy. I don't eat much processed food, I don't smoke or drink alcohol, I drink tonnes of water, and I want to incorporate strengthening activities into my life next. I feel so despondent and bleak about how to move past this. I'm a very slow, low energy person and it just feels so counter-'me'.

Help!

OP posts:
Italianasoitis · 29/07/2024 11:31

I meant to add that I have never, ever got an endorphin rush after exercise. Just a sense of annoyance, nausea and dread of having to do it again.

OP posts:
DancingPhantomsOnTheTerrace · 29/07/2024 11:32

Do you find walking ok? That can be great exercise.

How about swimming? Would that help with your prickly sweaty feeling?

So, this morning, I did 3x 20 reps of squats while I moisturised and put my foundation on. I started getting that prickly, sweaty feeling and some kind of switch in my brain flicked and I felt so angry and like I wanted to scream.

How far in did you get before it became unpleasant? Just do that amount? You can always increase it later on if you feel you can.

otravezempezamos · 29/07/2024 11:33

Swimming. It tones up your body, is low impact and sheds loads of calories.

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urghbrotherurgh · 29/07/2024 11:40

What about just putting ankle weights on for an hour a day whilst you move around the house?

Start small and the. Build from there

Italianasoitis · 29/07/2024 11:44

Walking is absolutely fine. I can totally manage walking. The prickly feeling came at the end and I stopped.
Swimming is a problem for me as it would be too much faff and I wouldn't stick to it. I work full time and have 3 kids and the pool isn't handy.
Thanks for listening guys!

OP posts:
LaBobkin · 29/07/2024 11:45

Could you afford a PT or similar to help you find something you enjoy? It's really hard to motivate yourself when you have such a strong reaction. Or alternatively try walks/ bike rides with the kids, and make it a bit more fun?

FWIW I am in the same boat, need to drop a few, diet doesn't do it any more, can't run due to hip issues, hate the thought of the gym... Trying to come up with options.

Mercurial123 · 29/07/2024 11:46

You need to find something you enjoy. You'll never stick to exercise if you do something you hate. Join a walking club, swimming, cycling, light weights, and resistance bands?

spikeandbuffy · 29/07/2024 11:46

Netball? I started again as an adult

Olympics2024 · 29/07/2024 11:49

Italianasoitis · 29/07/2024 11:31

I meant to add that I have never, ever got an endorphin rush after exercise. Just a sense of annoyance, nausea and dread of having to do it again.

Apparently only a small % of people do. There is a podcast a “Thorough exaimination of exercise” which exains the science behind it but essentially most people do exercise to stay healthy rather than enjoyment.

What about swimming?

justkeepswimmng · 29/07/2024 11:58

OP, this was me.

Now firstly, i know people say ok i do this and that bla bla bla and tell you their story and how you need to find something you enjoy, you think aww thats nice but i cant do that because of X Y Z, Literally this was me for years and years.

In may i just kinda thought i dont want to be like this anymore so i started walking early mornings for 40 mins.

Then i got a little bit more confidence and by the end of may i thought about doing something more so i joined a small group PT 6 week trial which is strength based training So mostly all weights.
That gave me access to book 4 sessions, nutrition plan and a weekly check in, first session i was shaking and almost in tears, by the second session i could barely walk with the pain i was in and by the 3rd i was hooked, the positivity, confidence and consistency it has given me has changed my life.

I have 3 young kids, work full time etc so i train at 7am for an hour.

Anyways its literally you holding yourself back, I know if a new weight exercise is being shown i can feel my anxiety creeping in and self doubt but with the help of the coaches i can now get through it, look online and find something to try x

Italianasoitis · 29/07/2024 12:14

justkeepswimmng · 29/07/2024 11:58

OP, this was me.

Now firstly, i know people say ok i do this and that bla bla bla and tell you their story and how you need to find something you enjoy, you think aww thats nice but i cant do that because of X Y Z, Literally this was me for years and years.

In may i just kinda thought i dont want to be like this anymore so i started walking early mornings for 40 mins.

Then i got a little bit more confidence and by the end of may i thought about doing something more so i joined a small group PT 6 week trial which is strength based training So mostly all weights.
That gave me access to book 4 sessions, nutrition plan and a weekly check in, first session i was shaking and almost in tears, by the second session i could barely walk with the pain i was in and by the 3rd i was hooked, the positivity, confidence and consistency it has given me has changed my life.

I have 3 young kids, work full time etc so i train at 7am for an hour.

Anyways its literally you holding yourself back, I know if a new weight exercise is being shown i can feel my anxiety creeping in and self doubt but with the help of the coaches i can now get through it, look online and find something to try x

Thank you. Yes I feel completely trapped and know it's just me holding myself back. I see that you started with walking until you felt ready for the next step so maybe that's what I need to do. Just get walks in.

I know this sounds so stupid but one of the things that stops me from taking walking seriously is that sports gear triggers me (I'm not a total snowflake in other aspects of my life btw). I don't even own a pair of trainers. I just feel so stupid and fat in exercise wear! I always wear dresses and just have some tracksuit bottoms for cleaning the house! I never wear leggings due to my shape. I guess I'm just so immensely self conscious which nobody would ever guess!

I see that you feel anxiety when you start a new aspect of your training which shows me that it's normal and not just me! I can do this, I just need to find some way of not throwing in the towel.

OP posts:
NevermindNelson · 29/07/2024 12:25

You’ve done brilliantly so far, so you’re not starting from scratch here.

Could you do a basic exercise video? Have a look at Improved Health on YouTube - there are loads of absolute beginner workouts you can go through - plenty of them don’t involve getting down on the floor 🙂

Also, I’ve seen research around endorphins being by blocked due to diet - sugar can mess with neurotransmitters, so you’re making the exercise endorphins, they just aren’t getting through.

spikeandbuffy · 29/07/2024 12:54

Honestly it'll be fine
I'm a size 16/18 and workout at home (peloton and weights)
I was so nervous going to a netball couch to court by myself and it's one of the best things I've done, I also like outdoor swimming only in summer----
It gets easier the more you do it but I just accept I have to do it for my heart and lungs and choose the things I hate the least (spin, weights, netball)

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