Help me to exercise!

[Italianasoitis]

I was a chubby, unfit, socially anxious and incredibly self conscious teenager and the only exercise I ever did was in PE. The PE teacher hated me and would always make an example out of me.

In my 20s I lost stones in weight from dieting alone. In my 30s I was constantly pregnant or breastfeeding, but managed to lose most of the baby weight from 3 pregnancies through diet alone.

Now I'm 41, am finished having babies and while I'm not overweight, at around 60kg/5 foot 4, I am pure flab. Everywhere wobbles, you can grab a handful of fat anywhere on my body and I actually feel the fat around my thighs weighing me down like I'm wearing some kind of prosthetic.

I've had a bad year with a combination of suspected long covid, stress and the start of perimenopause. I've found that when I eat more calories that I usually eat to stay slim, I feel better. My physical health has vastly improved since I started eating whatever I want, but obviously this has led to weight gain.

I want to tone up, be healthy and strong and keep my weight down. The problem is I absolutely despise exercise and I feel like it goes beyond not enjoying pushing myself. Once I get to that point where I feel prickly and sweaty, I start to experience a sense of rage and nausea. I do think it's linked to my former experiences with PE.

My husband says that I should start going for walks and add ankle weights, and incorporate doing some small exercises within my existing routine. So, this morning, I did 3x 20 reps of squats while I moisturised and put my foundation on. I started getting that prickly, sweaty feeling and some kind of switch in my brain flicked and I felt so angry and like I wanted to scream. I had a shower and felt better afterwards.

I can't do anything that involves running or jumping due to some childbirth related pelvic issues. I'm so unco-ordinated that I have cried after exercises classes with shame. I've tried yoga and pilates and for various reasons, that didn't work either. I hate things that are floor based due to having an allergy brought on by carpets growing up too (I sound so pathetic!!!)

I can't describe how much I hate exercise but I want to be healthy. I don't eat much processed food, I don't smoke or drink alcohol, I drink tonnes of water, and I want to incorporate strengthening activities into my life next. I feel so despondent and bleak about how to move past this. I'm a very slow, low energy person and it just feels so counter-'me'.

Help!

I meant to add that I have never, ever got an endorphin rush after exercise. Just a sense of annoyance, nausea and dread of having to do it again.

Do you find walking ok? That can be great exercise.

How about swimming? Would that help with your prickly sweaty feeling?

So, this morning, I did 3x 20 reps of squats while I moisturised and put my foundation on. I started getting that prickly, sweaty feeling and some kind of switch in my brain flicked and I felt so angry and like I wanted to scream.

How far in did you get before it became unpleasant? Just do that amount? You can always increase it later on if you feel you can.

Swimming. It tones up your body, is low impact and sheds loads of calories.

What about just putting ankle weights on for an hour a day whilst you move around the house?

Start small and the. Build from there

Walking is absolutely fine. I can totally manage walking. The prickly feeling came at the end and I stopped.
Swimming is a problem for me as it would be too much faff and I wouldn't stick to it. I work full time and have 3 kids and the pool isn't handy.
Thanks for listening guys!

Could you afford a PT or similar to help you find something you enjoy? It's really hard to motivate yourself when you have such a strong reaction. Or alternatively try walks/ bike rides with the kids, and make it a bit more fun?

FWIW I am in the same boat, need to drop a few, diet doesn't do it any more, can't run due to hip issues, hate the thought of the gym... Trying to come up with options.

You need to find something you enjoy. You'll never stick to exercise if you do something you hate. Join a walking club, swimming, cycling, light weights, and resistance bands?

Netball? I started again as an adult

Apparently only a small % of people do. There is a podcast a “Thorough exaimination of exercise” which exains the science behind it but essentially most people do exercise to stay healthy rather than enjoyment.

What about swimming?

OP, this was me.

Now firstly, i know people say ok i do this and that bla bla bla and tell you their story and how you need to find something you enjoy, you think aww thats nice but i cant do that because of X Y Z, Literally this was me for years and years.

In may i just kinda thought i dont want to be like this anymore so i started walking early mornings for 40 mins.

Then i got a little bit more confidence and by the end of may i thought about doing something more so i joined a small group PT 6 week trial which is strength based training So mostly all weights.
That gave me access to book 4 sessions, nutrition plan and a weekly check in, first session i was shaking and almost in tears, by the second session i could barely walk with the pain i was in and by the 3rd i was hooked, the positivity, confidence and consistency it has given me has changed my life.

I have 3 young kids, work full time etc so i train at 7am for an hour.

Anyways its literally you holding yourself back, I know if a new weight exercise is being shown i can feel my anxiety creeping in and self doubt but with the help of the coaches i can now get through it, look online and find something to try x

Thank you. Yes I feel completely trapped and know it's just me holding myself back. I see that you started with walking until you felt ready for the next step so maybe that's what I need to do. Just get walks in.

I know this sounds so stupid but one of the things that stops me from taking walking seriously is that sports gear triggers me (I'm not a total snowflake in other aspects of my life btw). I don't even own a pair of trainers. I just feel so stupid and fat in exercise wear! I always wear dresses and just have some tracksuit bottoms for cleaning the house! I never wear leggings due to my shape. I guess I'm just so immensely self conscious which nobody would ever guess!

I see that you feel anxiety when you start a new aspect of your training which shows me that it's normal and not just me! I can do this, I just need to find some way of not throwing in the towel.

You’ve done brilliantly so far, so you’re not starting from scratch here.

Could you do a basic exercise video? Have a look at Improved Health on YouTube - there are loads of absolute beginner workouts you can go through - plenty of them don’t involve getting down on the floor 🙂

Also, I’ve seen research around endorphins being by blocked due to diet - sugar can mess with neurotransmitters, so you’re making the exercise endorphins, they just aren’t getting through.

Honestly it'll be fine
I'm a size 16/18 and workout at home (peloton and weights)
I was so nervous going to a netball couch to court by myself and it's one of the best things I've done, I also like outdoor swimming only in summer----
It gets easier the more you do it but I just accept I have to do it for my heart and lungs and choose the things I hate the least (spin, weights, netball)