French parents’ physical punishment of kids

[Rainallnight]

I’m on holiday in France. Day 2. Yesterday saw two different parents smacking their kids, one on the face.

Today, on the beach, saw a dad kick his child, and then pick him up and throw him to the ground.

I was horrified. And no, I didn’t intervene. I was on my own with DC, and didn’t think my French would carry me through the conversation. I also didn’t want to make it worse. But I’m so worried about that little boy.

What on Earth is going on? I’ve been to France lots of times before and never seen anything like this.

I was in France at Easter I noticed the French children, even very young ones were extremely well behaved.

Smacking isn’t particularly unusual in France.

Sounds awful. My sister lives there, so I’ve been quite a few times, but I’ve never seen anything like this. I wonder if it’s area specific?

Although I think it’s banned now.

They’re so well behaved and I think French parents are generally strict. But this was beyond what I’d seen before.

I don’t think I’ve ever seen a kick though.

I wondered that too.

I’d love to know what your sister thinks. Wish I had some French people to ask.

I remember my French exchange partner being one of 6 and one of her siblings was smacked when naughty.

He picked the child up by the arm so he was dangling, then kicked him. It was horrific.

They can be tourists from anywhere...

I wouldn’t say that was normal. I have French family & other heritage. Smacking was part of normal punishment for me but then my parents were physically punished in school & we weren’t really hit hard.

That is a good point, and very true. I guess I just lumped it all together with the people from the previous day, who were definitely French.

I'm French. I don't live there now but do think smacking is more accepted there. Absolutely not kicking though, and not hitting the face! That sounds horrendous!
I don't find a gentle smack on the bottom as outrageous as people here do and tend to find bad behaviour more outrageous.
French kids are definitely better behaved in general.

I think physical discipline in France is more common in more rural areas and the south.. imo. Altho its more acceptable than in UK I do think middle class people in cosmopolitan areas are less likely to do it. From what I've seen anyway (lived in rural southern france)
I've got family in Italy and it's pretty normal for everyone everywhere there!! More than France.
But yeah smacking kids on the hands at least was something I saw a lot round where I lived..
I've never seen a parent kick a child or slap a childs face tho that's really shocking!

I have a French husband and yes seen smacking including round the face in France and nobody intervenes. The kids are expected to behave better than British kids and be silent in restaurants etc and eat anything given to them. Older generations more common to smack but seen it with people in 40s as well. Wouldn't say its unusual.

French kids are much better behaved than British ones so it must be working.

What on Earth is going on?

Adults witnessing what they describe as 'horrific' child abuse but doing nothing about it is what's going on.

You could've called the police but chose to stand by and do nothing.

My french nanna thought nothing of physical chastisement. Smacking, dragging and locking her many dc in cupboards was the norm. Sadly my own French dm was unwell and although she didn't follow this style of parenting she did lose it on occasion and would physically lash out. I wonder if she would have if she hadn't been smacked.
Anyway luckily I find it disgusting and broke the cycle with my own dc.
My French family do speak about punishment being too soft here

Bit dated but says here 85% of French parents smack and law to ban it but nothing done if parents ignore it. French DH was smacked around face and locked in cupboards as a child both at home and by school teachers (face).

https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/europe/france-smacking-ban-parents-children-corporal-punishment-a8661191.html

I knew it had been made illegal in France (unlike England.) But I didn't realise they were just ignoring that, as I've not been for a while. Seems a bit pointless banning it then. I was hoping we would follow suit and ban it like all our neighbouring countries have.
I was smacked and hit a lot growing up, including in my teens. My dc are 17 and 20. I've never smacked them and always had really good reports about their behaviour from school etc.
I know smacking has been illegal in Sweden since the 70s. Are they all still whacking away? Or are their kids out of control? I've never heard they are.

How are you sure the parents are French?

This all seems very disingenuous. It’s because any physical act with children has all been lumped into one basket on why it’s inappropriate to physically chastise children. These days a smack on the bottom over clothes or a tap on the arm to get a child attention and stop the behaviour is seen as exactly the same as physically belting the shit out of a child.

I’m not in the UK but have an acquaintance here who is French and yes, they deal with their kids in a more physical way. For instance, if in trouble, they will physically grab their face and make them look at them while they are being told off etc. Let’s not be cute though and pretend that it’s the same as physically throwing a child to the ground and kicking them - because French. You get actual abusive parents all over the world, including France, so don’t take a parent actually abusing a child and make it representative of French parenting.I’m not French btw.

Yes noticed it last week. Parents was definitely French. Child was no more than four and he hit her on the side of the head twice because she was a bit over excited at the swimming pool (waterpark). He was just generally aggressive and had no patience. French mother was very passive and just sat there..

No one I know who is against smacking "lumps it in with belting the shit out of kids". You can believe that all physical punishment is wrong and abusive, while still believing that some physical punishment is worse than others.

It's like domestic violence (well, in my opinion smacking IS domestic violence, but let's assume others disagree). All of it is awful, but giving someone a shove or grabbing their wrist is obviously not as bad as kicking them down the stairs. Likewise a shoving match with strangers in the pub is wrong but not as bad as glassing them in the face.

Have no to resort to "physical punishment" to make your point is ridiculous for a grown adult. How are we meant to raise a generation who aren't violent and aggressive, if the people they love and trust most in the world are using physical punishment on someone much smaller than them?

I am French in my late fifties and I was never smacked. I never smacked my child either. I don't believe in hitting children as you effectively teaching them that violence (any forms) is acceptable. Children learn from modelling, not from fear of being hit.
What the OP witnessed was abuse.