Driving on the continent!

[NopeNopetyNope]

Hello, I'm looking for any tips or advice/guidance from people who've driven through France and Spain. Or any words of reassurance!

OH has just surprised us all with a camping trip in Spain. He has booked the time off work, sorted car and health insurance and come home today with a brand new tent and a load of other camping gear. He's also told the children who are beside themselves with excitement!! I know that lots of people would just pop in the car and go for it and I don't want my children to miss out on an adventure because of me but I suffer terribly with anxiety! Realistically it will be me doing the driving as OH won't be able to do much due to health reasons.

I don't even speak the languages, what about road signs?! Maybe if we were driving in Germany I'd mange to read the road signs but I don't even have a base knowledge of French or Spanish. Road signage is really worrying me. I'm also worried about not knowing which types of roads I'll be driving on (eg highways or narrow country lanes), refuelling (not sure what worries me about this but it does), overnight stops or rest stops, interacting with people! I have social anxiety and struggle interacting with people who speak the same languages as me, I will need to use my phone translator but what if people get impatient with me or think I'm ignorant for not knowing the language? Oh and the ferry, I've never driven onto one before and have no idea how it works.

I wish I was carefree and just went with the flow, enjoyed the adventure of exploring new places and I want my children to experience that without me ruining it so please, any guidance or reassurance (as much reassurance as you can muster) will be so much appreciated!

And thank you of you read all of that, apologies if I've rambled.

What did you decide to do op?

it’s a tough place for you to be in.

Hi! I just thought I'd pop back on with a little update incase anyone was wondering.
I actually did it! We just got back midnight last night and am knackered but the driving was fine!
I just wanted to say thanks to all the posters who offered advice and reassurance. And the PP who took the trouble to list a suggested route was an absolute star. So if you see this thank you!

Getting used to driving on the right was no where near as terrible as I thought, neither was any of the other things I was worried about. The car was fine driving across Europe (although we did have car trouble in England about an hour into the drive which set the anxiety in for the whole rest of the journey 😭).
The only trouble I had was with OH and his bad moods (so much for his "adventure") and his insistence that we drive further than we'd agreed (he has a habit of agreeing to things to get his way with no intention of keeping to his word 🙄)
The kids were perfect! No moaning or arguing. They enjoyed the journey and didn't even watch any of the shows or listen to the audiobooks I downloaded, they just listened to our car playlist and enjoyed the scenery! I just feel terrible for them that my anxiety and their dad's moodiness (with me, he doesn't get moody with the kids) probably put a dampener on things for them.

But we did it. We made it to Spain and back in one piece and the kids have a few days at home with me before school starts again!

Brilliant news, well done! Hope you enjoyed the actual holiday and made wonderful memories - and your DCs sound angelic! (your OH doesn't).

Glad you had a good time. We've just got back from our European trip. It's amazing how big France is. But great for driving

Thanks! Yes the children were brilliant and no trouble at all!
And I definitely agree that France is great for driving in! I didn't encounter a single traffic jam or erratic driver. However coming home as soon as we left the ferry was constant traffic and roadworks 😭 we'd planned to do the last leg of France and then stop over for the night at Dover before travelling home but OH made the executive decision to just head straight on home and it was a nightmare of a journey!
But it's done now and we can say we've had that experience 😅

Also meant to say that I hope you enjoyed your trip @cakeorwine

And @manonwelfling the actual holiday was nice, we did drive lots while we were there too so I didn't really get a break from that 😅 but I soon got used to the area and the local roads.

Well bloody done OP.
You and the children sound awesome.
I hope this gives you more agency as I am not sure why DH gets to make the decisions. You planned and delivered the holiday. You rock!

Mmm, sounds like you made the best of it (and did brilliantly under the circumstances). Maybe ditch your 'd'h next time.

Thanks guys, I have to admit that I surprised myself by doing it. I don't have much self confidence and I didn't think I'd do that in a million years.

Sounds like you did brilliantly, well done. However, you need to put your foot down with your DH and not just about booking holidays. If you are driving, how does he get to make the "executive decision" that you're not stopping over? If the person doing all the driving decides that, fair enough. The passenger doing no driving doesn't get to make the decisions.

I'm really glad that the trip went well.
But why is your DH deciding how much driving you are doing, this sounds both ridiculously controlling and dangerous?

Hmmm OP I won’t be the only poster wondering whether your confidence is low because of your dh and whether his grump was because of your success at delivering the holiday and driving the whole thing forward. Your dh did nothing fifteen mins in Go Outdoors and ten mins online couldn’t have delivered.

france is so great to drive in - hopefully you can do it again and enjoy it even more!

Very well done @NopeNopetyNope, I'm so glad that you coped well with the driving, that's excellent! How fab that you and the children had a great holiday.

Your husband is a complete bully. It should always be the driver who makes decisions about resting and stops.

Now that you are safely back home, perhaps you should consider taking a self assertiveness course, or having some counselling to increase your confidence levels?

The problem with living with a controlling bully is that it wears you down and destroys your resilience. Maybe you should look at The Freedom Programme, you can do it on line, it would give you some strategies to help you day to day.

I hope you are already planning your next trip to France with the children, preferably without your grumpy bully of a husband!!