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Original poster

Can she move nursing home

36 replies

Mymum87 · 28/07/2024 18:14

I'm just thinking out loud to MN I don't know if this is even possible.

My mother has recently been put into a nursing home . In boston uk .by her partner due to dementia. When she had assessments it was said she could live at home with her partner. With carers coming in. The partner refused and took himself of to Devon. He's about 10 years younger than my mum . And fit and gos diving etc. He's been gone around 3 weeks

Now she has no one in boston all her adult children are in London.

Her care home is not a private one and no one would be able to pay for a private one . But im wondering if she could be transfered to London. I'm not sure if its simple though. I think she would not have a local connection ? And I'm thinking there are probably not many nursing home places in London. And maybe if has to be under her own local authority?

OP posts:
Original poster
Mymum87 · 28/07/2024 19:44

MissMoneyFairy · 28/07/2024 19:41

He wouldn't just be able to put her in a council run carehome, social services and the hospital would have been involved in that decision. There's obviously a lot going on that you're not aware if but your siblings must know if she's married and who owns the bungalow and you can check online if anyone has power of attorney

Social services and hospital/rehabilitation said she can go home with things in place. Her partner then went to Devon so she could not go home.

OP posts:
yeesh · 28/07/2024 19:44

Call social services in her area (you will be able to find the number online on the council website) and speak to her social worker. They will be able to go though the process with you. People often move to care homes in different areas to be near family

Original poster
Mymum87 · 28/07/2024 19:45

yeesh · 28/07/2024 19:44

Call social services in her area (you will be able to find the number online on the council website) and speak to her social worker. They will be able to go though the process with you. People often move to care homes in different areas to be near family

Thank you

OP posts:

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MissMoneyFairy · 28/07/2024 19:48

If she's still in the rehab unit she may have a social worker allocated to her, they must have thought she wouldn't be safe to go home on her own with carers coming in but someone must have taken that decision.

catzrulz · 28/07/2024 19:50

Mymum87 · 28/07/2024 19:45

Thank you

Show quote history

Ask for the Duty Worker for Adult Services in Mum's area.
Does anyone have POA over Mum, has she been formally diagnosed with dementia?

saraclara · 28/07/2024 19:53

She is probably still counted as having the six weeks of free respite care that will follow the rehab element. So her social worker will be scrabbling about now, having learned that her partner has gone. This is the absolute best time for you to get involved, because she's unlikely to have a full time permanent place in that home, and Adult Social Care will be trying to work out what's best for her (and cheapest for them). So they'll be relieved that they can pass it on to another local authority.

My mum had her disabling stroke in Wales, where she'd moved to for retirement. But she had no partner or family there. So we arranged for her to be transferred from the care home where she'd initially been put, back to where she'd lived before, where my brother still lived, and where I could get to in 1.5 hours rather than the 6 it took me to get to West Wales.
She wasn't happy about it, but it was doable.

Having said that, initially she was self funding, but then the council took over..

Butterflyfern · 28/07/2024 19:58

I have no useful advice to add, but it must have been awful for your mother's partner to find her after not knowing she'd fallen for 5hrs, all because he couldn't hear her. No wonder he feels he can't care for her anymore.

Original poster
Mymum87 · 28/07/2024 20:01

catzrulz · 28/07/2024 19:50

Ask for the Duty Worker for Adult Services in Mum's area.
Does anyone have POA over Mum, has she been formally diagnosed with dementia?

Show quote history

My sister is next of Kin. But she does not question anything. She thinks because she does not have a local connection she can't be moved closer . She says it very matter of fact and conversation is stopped. I might judt see if I can call for advice

OP posts:
Mischance · 28/07/2024 20:07

All nursing homes are privately run now ... but some people pay from their own assets and others are helped by LA or health.
If a family member wishes to give a home with them to someone in need of care they are free to do so. However if you have valid concerns about such an arrangement, should it happen, you can contact SS to report her as a vulnerable adult.

MissMoneyFairy · 28/07/2024 20:15

Mymum87 · 28/07/2024 20:01

My sister is next of Kin. But she does not question anything. She thinks because she does not have a local connection she can't be moved closer . She says it very matter of fact and conversation is stopped. I might judt see if I can call for advice

Show quote history

Next of kin is not the same as power of attorney., npk cant make decisions, if your sister cuts off the conversation and your brother is an alcoholic are either of them realistically going to visit mum if she was to move nearer to them.

hatgirl · 28/07/2024 20:26

saraclara · 28/07/2024 19:53

She is probably still counted as having the six weeks of free respite care that will follow the rehab element. So her social worker will be scrabbling about now, having learned that her partner has gone. This is the absolute best time for you to get involved, because she's unlikely to have a full time permanent place in that home, and Adult Social Care will be trying to work out what's best for her (and cheapest for them). So they'll be relieved that they can pass it on to another local authority.

My mum had her disabling stroke in Wales, where she'd moved to for retirement. But she had no partner or family there. So we arranged for her to be transferred from the care home where she'd initially been put, back to where she'd lived before, where my brother still lived, and where I could get to in 1.5 hours rather than the 6 it took me to get to West Wales.
She wasn't happy about it, but it was doable.

Having said that, initially she was self funding, but then the council took over..

Determining 'ordinary residence' can be complicated but I suspect in this scenario it would still be the responsibility of the local authority she is in now to source the care home placement in London and fund it.

They will find a care home that takes local authority rates in the area you want her to move to and they will match fund the local authority rate for that area.

Im not sure if you have said how her previous house was owned/funded or what savings and income she has but you might find she has to pay something towards her care.

Next of Kin is legally meaningless in this situation. If no one has Lasting Power of Attorney then the local authority will make a decision in her best interests if she's not able to make the decision herself.

Is anyone ACTUALLY going to visit her though if you do move her somewhere else or is it guilt/wishful thinking?

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