Telling someone about their wardrobe malfunction in public

[ThisWasEmbarrasing]

This isn't very serious but something that happened to me. And I felt embarrassed.

I was out with a group of friends and one of them was in a bit of a bad mood that day pointed out that something (that usually is hidden) was showing. But just the way she said it made me feel embarrassed. She just kinda said it out loud when we were walking as a group. My other friend overheard and smirked.

Surely the done thing is to tell the person discretely?

As I said I'm not upset, just wished my friend had told me discretely or pulled me to one side.

She sounds like an idiot, trying to humiliate you in public. Are these people the best you can do as friends?

@cupcaske123 she was feeling a bit peeved off that day. And yes I felt super embarrassed.

Would have been worse if she hadn’t told you and if you were all walking along together it’s a bit difficult to take you to one side. Also depends what it was and what you needed to do to sort it.

I suppose it depends what it was. I've approached people several times when they've had a malfunction, once a woman in the middle of London whose skirt was tucked in her knickers and trailing loo roll at the same time 🙈. Was she trying to embarrass you? Was it better that you knew?

I’m not sure, I’d think if even saying it in public means you were embarrassed it was showing, so even if she told you discreetly you’d still be embarrassed as all your other friends snc every one else saw and no one bothered to tell you. At least she cared enough to do so.

Because she told you or because everyone saw and no one else bothered to?

Better she told you than didn't and if it was friends that overhead it wasn't the worst thing in the world but yes, nicer to be discreet. That said, I worked with a woman, quite a horsey straightforward type, who was just totally matter of fact in announcing this kind of thing and it was oddly refreshing, as if she didn't care about a bit of loo roll or whatever so neither should you!

If they can fix it in 30 seconds then tell them ..... that's always been my rule!

I'd rather know if my bra was showing/label not cut off/fly undone/button undone etc.

Pointing out something that can't be corrected easily and quickly is harsh.

I think it's really important to breathe and try not to conflate a. feeling embarrassed and b. her rotten delivery.

Maybe your feelings are more about feeling embarrassed? Not minimising your feelings but you're obviously feeling pretty strongly about this given you've started a thread so make sure that it's because all of your anger is about how rude she was rather than feeling pretty embarrassed about the malfunction if that makes sense?

It does sound, given your language used, that the source of your embarrassment lies primarily in the mysterious 'something (that is usually hidden)' being on show.

If it's any consolation I was at a resort in the Med years ago and sashayed out of the toilet in an up market restaurant. I was literally all about myself as I had lots of glances and looks. It was only as I joined the table that my Mum was able to tell me that most of my skirt was hidden in my knickers. 😬

And, I know she was in bad mood BUT she's a decent egg to have told you. Decent people do this. I never liked the insufferable Holly Willoughby anyway, but I've seen clips where Jodie Marsh was being interviewed on TM with her teeth absolutely covered in dark lipstick and she let her talk and talk and talk.

So I think your friends delivery was shit but her sentiments good.

Ok fair. It was that she just bluntly told me "we all can see your underwear." And I was embarrassed that the others around would have heard

Yes its better you got told, but I wouldve been annoyed at being told bluntly like that as well

Yeah that's just unkind. Perfectly possible to quietly say that.

I don't think the words were the issue though, just the volume.

🤮

It honestly wouldn’t have bothered me at all. I’d rather be told and we can all laugh it off.

I wasn't majorly upset, just quite embarrassed.

She didn't need to do that. Most people would have told you discreetly to not embarrass you.

Now you've given context, I agree she didn't have to embarrass you like that. It was unkind. I have to say I wouldn't mention somebody's underwear showing through clothes but I have quietly told people if they're showing off bits they are not meant to be showing off just because it's got stuck or something. I'm sorry you felt so bad.

If it makes me you feel any better @ThisWasEmbarrasing I was once a bit drunk leaving an office party and on my way to the tube when a woman stopped me because I was trailing about six feet of party popper ribbons out of the bottom of both legs of my trousers 🤣. I have absolutely no clue how that happened but we both had a laugh about it and she was at least discreet 🙈

She was an arse. You tell the person as discreetly as possible and give help if neccessary (eg offer a coverup if they've bled on their clothes) and then drop it.

Up to the person affected if they then choose to laugh it off and make it more public.

I'd just chalk it off to her bad mood. You've got nothing to be embarassed about, these things happen.