80yo DM wants to do childcare but I don’t think it’s feasible

[MoreChocPlease]

After maternity, I am going back to work with compressed hours so I can look after DC one day a week (Friday).

My mum is 80 and lives two hours away. She is upset that we won’t ‘let’ her do childcare that day and is adamant that she should be ‘allowed’ to do it.

My mum doesn’t drive. She is mobile, but slow and tires easily. She is an insomniac and regularly will sleep from 4-5am to 11am. Her proposal is that she would get public transport to ours on a Thursday afternoon and then stay until Sunday, ‘so she can help us around the house at the weekend.’ (But, kindly, she is one of those house guests who needs looking after, rather than vice versa!)

I feel that it’s very nice of her to have offered but she has little recollection of the energy required to look after a 1 year old all day! Let alone her sleep schedule etc. And I don’t think DH would want DMIL around three nights a week!

Does anyone have any advice on how I can handle this, as she’s getting quite upset that I’m saying I don’t think it’s feasible.

In my experience they forget the reality of looking after a baby, toddler or small child and have this fond idea that they can just sit and chat to them (probably with you there too to chat to!), maybe sing some nursery rhymes or do some gentle quiet activities like jigsaws, books, colouring or Play Doh.

It's the sort of thing that would be fine for up to an hour to cover you going to something like a dentist appointment. But not for a full day a week!

Having her to stay would be a complete pain - when do you get to do other family things at weekends? And it'll be an extra person to clear up after!

and feed! @EmotionalBlackmail

It's a no from me