My autistic son and talking to strangers

[Gsmum6]

My lovely DS is 6 and has autism, at one point we didn't think he'd ever speak.. how wrong we were. He doesn't stop now!

The problem I have is that he talks to strangers. Alot.

Not only does it concern me from a safety point of view it can also be embarrassing. For example, he addresses every elderly person as "hello granny" or "morning grandad" and unless you know him and how to take him, it's easy for some to take offence I guess.

I always correct him and my go-to reaction used to be to apologise and tell them he's autistic and means no offence. well now he has taken to telling every other passer by that he's autistic 😂

From a selfish perspective, it also makes me feel quite sad when people look at him as though he has two heads or just completely blank him when he says hello. I'm sure a random kid spontaneously engaging a perfect stranger in conversation might catch some people off guard but he/we have had some really funny looks.

I keep reiterating that we shouldn't / don't have to talk to strangers, stranger danger etc and it isn't sinking in. It's who he is.

Is this as big a problem as it feels like to me? How would you handle it? I've NC.

@Gsmum6 The train thing is incredible, mine is the same (although older than your boy at 13). It amazes me the things he reels off! By virtue of this I've become a train nerd too 🙃. I think social stories are a great idea here. They've always been very useful for us although less so now he's a teen. I do use a timetabling thing though to ensure everything is clear and ready each morning. Do whatever it takes! Solidarity ❤️

Also @Gsmum6 I highly recommend taking him for some spotting at your local station. I've found the station staff to be absolutely brilliant. He is treated with so much kindness and respect, they all know him by name and they are happy to wave us through so we can see the trains. There are so many worse things he could be involved with at this age so I'll always encourage the hobby!

'Morning Grandad' 😆
Bless his sweet heart!
I remember having not having much of a filter also (adhd). Nothing else to add, but he sounds lovely and so innocent.

We taught autistic ds to address people as sir and madam. I’d say it’s half and half the people who look at him like he has two heads (but ds doesn’t notice tbh as he doesn’t make eye contact while saying it) and half who smile and say hello back.

We have also practised and rehearsed what he would do in various situations if I wasn’t there-if he got lost or needed help.

Lots of people would enjoy his chatter! It’s so good he can connect with others, it’s a real skill

OP I have one just like this a DD aged 8 except she has severe learning disabilities too. I hadn’t thought to try social stories so going to give that a go. She was asking strangers in the supermarket today what they were buying. Yesterday on a walk asked an elderly gentleman if he was wearing a shirt 🙈 (she has a thing about what she thinks are party shirts) which he was wearing. A week ago we walked past a man coming out of his house and she shouted “hi mister, are you going to work?”.

DH has is a different ethnicity to me and has dark skin. If we were out and about she used to shout “hello my daddy” at any man around DH’s age who happened to be black or Asian. Thankfully we seem to be past that stage now 🤣.