Worried after safeguarding referral

[GreenDreamer]

My Baby (7 months) swallowed a small amount of bath water and started coughing yesterday. I got her out straight away gave her back taps and got her changed, she then puked (milk) I called 111 as I was worried and have heard things about secondary drowning. I have a habit of over worrying.

They told me to go to A&E which we did, but she said she was having to put a safeguarding referral through. I was and still am devastated and really worried about this, though I understand it is standard procedure to reduce any children falling through the net. She also mentioned the word submerged but I told her my baby was not submerged at all, she got some water in her mouth and began to cough.

We went into hospital and saw a nurse and then a Dr quite a while later, the nurse said that the word submerged had been written on her medical notes. I explained and she said not to worry. The Dr did a check and there was no water evident in her chest, he also carried out a safeguarding assessment and said she was absolutely fine and he had no concerns. He tried to reassure me that they have to do it and there is nothing to worry about.

Ive been feeling so down all day, I’ve cancelled all my weekend plans and I don’t want to leave the house. Does anyone know what will happen next?
I even called SS and they reassured me but I still have no idea on timeframes or what will happen. I’ve never been in a situation like this before and it’s been a real hit to the gut. She’s really loved and well looked after by me and my husband.
Will this be forever on her files at school and medical etc? I feel everyone will think I’m a bad mum.

She’ll swallow a bit more than a mouthful of bath water when she’s fully mobile. I really wouldn’t worry. You didn’t leave your baby unattended in a bath did you? That’s the important thing.
If a Sw contacts you just repeat exactly what happened.

The safeguarding referral won't go anywhere. You'll get a phone call, maybe a visit if they're overstaffed and underworked (unlikely) and that'll be the end of it.

But you need to get some help about your health anxiety. It's absolutely not necessary to go to A&E over swallowing a mouthful of bathwater - you need to gain the confidence and knowledge to make these decisions for yourself or you'll end up making your DD over-anxious and perpetuating the cycle. Perhaps an infant first aid course might be a good idea as well?

I'm so sorry you've been caught up in this.

I am a police officer and I have seen kids left with drug users, abusers, emotionally and neglectful parents (bed covered in urine, no sheets/duvet covers) so I would like to reassure you that this is an admin exercise and SS will most likely close the whole job in a few weeks (and only that long because it takes time for the cogs to turn).

Please don't worry.

I really wouldn't worry in the slightest. It's so common. I work in a safeguarding role and have also had a safeguarding report made by A&E about my daughter so have been on both sides.

From my safeguarding role - the rule is to document anything and everything that could possibly be purposeful harm to a child. It doesn't mean anyone actually thought you purposefully harmed her or that anything is going to come if it. It's only if several similar concerns start stacking (e.g. if she seems to have the same water swallowing incident every other week or whatnot) that anyone would remotely consider doing anything. Even then, it would just be a chat with you to see how things are going. I absolutely promise no one is taking your child away over swallowing a bit of bath water.

With my own daughter - she chewed a dishwasher tablet. One must have fallen out of the packet before we put it in the child-proof cupboard and neither of us noticed it fall out. My friend had a similar report made about her child when she ate some other product. Neither of us have ever had something come of it.

Everyone in safeguarding understands accidents happen, life happens, you're human and doing your best and it's ok.

@Allthehorsesintheworld thank you, I definitely over worry and the nurse laughed that I had called 111.
No she was not alone at all I was next to her on the floor holding her head and neck whilst I rearranged her towel (I hadn’t unfolded it) to get her out. I was even chatting to her that I should have done the towel before, I think she was kicking and caused a bit of water to wave into her neck area and some got in her mouth.
she has a seat it’s just that I clean her neck laying down and then usually get her out, then realised the towel was folded

@ShutTheFuckUpCakes yes I do need to work on it and it’s something I’ve had prior to being a mum. Yes I have booked a first aid course in a few weeks ago so I should be a bit calmer after 🤞

@DontBuyANewMumCashmere thank you so much, I really needed to read your comment 🫶

We've had one of these from an A&E visit. SS never got in touch.

Please just go and do your thing tomorrow, don't sit at home worrying. And remember loads of babies go to swimming lessons from much younger than this and don't suffer from secondary drowning.

@YellowSubmarine994 Thank you, that’s really reassuring, it’s my first mistake and I panicked. The lady on 111 did tell me they have to report anything in case it becomes a reoccurrence, but it’s hard not to worry what everyone is thinking you.
Thank you again x

Nothings going to happen, sounds like the 111 operator just assumed she must have gone under the water for you to have actually called for advice.

Your HV might call to follow up with you since you went to A&E.

Just to make it very clear, you will be fine

i can say that because multiple safeguarding referrals went through for my kids when they where young.

The ones for the multiple stupid injuries/a&e attendances my kids had (they genuinely had some of the most ridiculous injuries) never even made it onto their file.

i did in the end find out that 5 serious ones that related to their Dad's negligence were filed and never acted on. 1 recounted actual abuse was reviewed and file closed no action required 🫣.

The kids primary school only ever knew about the ones they themselves made and the secondary school knew about none (they were non contact by then)

You really do have nothing to worry about. A safeguarding referral really doesn't mean much

Hi, I'm divorced. I have concerns over my ex (including withholding prescribed medicines) and have had to have social services conversations, the bar is so low for what is safe you will be fine.

l would try and do a paediatric first aid course or at least ask someone to talk through what you should be looking out for. I hear you on secondary drowning, my toddler fell in a lake and I had a similar fear.

What works for me is information. I'm bright, I'm sure that you are too. I like information and a basic knowledge of what the panic point is, I can handle the rest. I have found that if you ask, people are happy to explain what you should be looking for.

My eldest learned to walk the week my youngest was born (they are close together). After a fall off a stool onto a concrete floor and a trip to the walk in clinic I just asked the medic to teach me what concussion protocol was so I knew what to do and didn't have to come back whenever I was worried. When I thought my youngest had broken her wrist (fell out of a tree), I asked them to talk me through what broken bones look like and during the pandemic when I was insanely close to hospitalising my youngest because her temperature wouldn't drop, I sat on the phone with 111 and said "I'm not going to hospital, I don't want to, my gut says that she is ok and I'm calm, but just give me a list of markers for when I need to start panicking." The nurse was from Great Ormond street and was awesome and gave me a list and it all turned out fine.

As you can see from the list above, you have years of injuries ahead of you and waiting rooms are boring. You absolutely have this, as someone said, I think you just need a bit of confidence, for me it was knowing the basics, just find what works for you. Best of luck!!

Please don't worry, nothing will happen with the referral - you are a loving mum and these things happen with babies! You do sound a bit over anxious though. First time parenting is a bit of a rollercoaster and can be scary at times! Reach out to your partner/mum/close friend for some reassurance and cuddles - look after yourself OP 💐

I remember that feeling of all consuming anxiety when your DC are small - I once took dd to A&e because she had gone red and blotchy through crying and I thought she had meningitis! The staff were very very kind to me and yes, getting some help for my health anxiety really did help me (and reduced the time I spent sat in waiting rooms).

don’t worry about the SS referral - you may never hear anything again. The one time DD did actually hurt herself (managed to learn to roll over on the change table and fell off as I was stood right next to her, I still have no idea what happened) they made a referral and I never heard a thing. (Dd was fine, except for a lovely bruise).

Unless there has been previous concerns (which sounds like there hasn't), I can pretty much say that this will come to nothing. As a social worker.

You may get a phone call, but I will eat my hat if they even suggest a visit!

Oh bless you OP, when DD was about 8 months old my DH was looking after her, put her in the pram and turned around for a split second to do something before buckling her in (trust me, I almost murdered him) and she sat up and fell face first onto concrete.

She looked absolutely battered, grazes, a massive bruise, it was awful. He went straight to A&E and I met him there, there was a safeguarding referral but nothing came of it.

A really lovely consultant came up to us and basically said accidents happen, you’re not bad parents. You are not a bad parent x

Please don't worry, the staff involved HAVE to report every potential safeguarding issue and it is drummed into them that they will face consequences if they don't, it is not up to them whether it is or is not a safeguarding issue, and it is not up to them often to deliberate whether it is or isn't an issue with the parent. They are trained within an inch of their lives on this, and simply cannot deviate. Although it sounds like a sledgehammer trying to crack a nut, it is part of modern life, and I am sure that all of us do agree that there have been some awful cases where a flag should have been raised in the past. Yours and a high percentage of others are NOT those cases. Just to give an example of my own, my daughter (aged about 12) splashed kettle water on herself when he was making her Grandma a cup of tea, something she wanted to do, had done many times before (for herself), and it was a nice thing, she just over-shot the cup if you know what I mean. I was in the kitchen at the time, as was my mum, took her to hospital and got treated, but had medical people that insisted that they interviewed her on her own for safeguarding reasons. She is very shy (plus her hand was hurting) so I said I would rather be in the room when they interviewed her, but no chance of that, and they were quite abrupt with me and told me the reason they have to interview her separately is that I might have done it to her. I think they just asked her what happened, and she told them, but I was a bit horrified that they could think I would have poured boiling kettle water over her hand deliberately, and felt a bit put out that they could have even "seen me in that way". But when you realise they do it as standard procedure and they cannot take any chances, then it does make sense, and I would rather them "miff me a bit" than another child go under a radar it is worth putting up with any procedure. Really, worry no further. It is procedure, it happens all the time. Hope this helps you xx

What will happen next is that an overworked social worker will get it on her/his desk, and will maybe phone you to ask you what happened. Then the social worker will close the case.

It's not going to be on her school files, it really isn't. I'm sure the majority of children have been to A&E at least once by their fifth birthday, and every injury to a child has to be followed up as a possible safeguarding concern. That would be a lot of notes on files!

I can't tell you how many times DD has been in hospital with injuries because she is absolutely fearless and feral. DS told school we hit him. I really doubt you'll even get a call. I hit DD in the face when hoovering as she snuck up behind me (heavy shark hoover) and gave her a black eye. I'm also a social worker so I really wouldn't worry.

Thank you everyone for your comments it’s really relieved my overworking mind! I’m actually going to leave the house today, thank you all! 🫶

It all comes from the Victoria Climbie inquiry which led to the children's act 2004. Everything gets reported now so that patterns can be picked up. One offs mean very little. Glad you are feeling better and hope that you had a good day.