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Helping children come to terms with loss of a pet

9 replies

neverbeenskiing · 26/07/2024 18:47

Our much loved cat died very suddenly and unexpectedly today. She was only 6 and had shown no signs of being unwell.

We're all upset obviously, but I'm particularly concerned about DD (10). I cannot explain how much she adored this cat, and the feeling was mutual. We used to refer to her as 'DD's shadow'. She is Autistic and has been going for a rough time at school (girls can be cruel, I'm sure many of us remember!) and I would often find her curled up in bed telling the cat about her worries, bless her. She's heartbroken.

Does anyone have any advice for helping a child come to terms with the loss of a much loved pet? It just so happens we had a special day out planned for tomorrow (booked months ago, non-refundable although money is absolutely not my biggest concern here) which is mostly for DD's benefit as its an event based around her 'special interest'. She's been excited about it for weeks but is now saying she doesn't want to go. I'm wondering whether we should encourage her to go or not. I think if she doesn't go she might regret it but I can see her point as I don't much feel like it myself to be honest. But I think we could probably all do with the distraction.

I know it probably seems silly to some people, all this fuss over a cat. But honestly I'm gutted.

OP posts:
FionnulaTheCooler · 26/07/2024 18:52

Its not silly, pets are a part of the family and we absolutely grieve for them when they die. How about making a photo book with your DD, get her to help you pick out some nice pictures of the cat and write down some nice memories to look back on?

neverbeenskiing · 26/07/2024 19:18

FionnulaTheCooler · 26/07/2024 18:52

Its not silly, pets are a part of the family and we absolutely grieve for them when they die. How about making a photo book with your DD, get her to help you pick out some nice pictures of the cat and write down some nice memories to look back on?

That's a really nice idea, thank you. We've got lots of lovely photos of her to choose from and DD has always loved seeing photos of herself from when she was little so will probably enjoy looking through old pictures from when we first rescued the cat.

OP posts:
EarharttE · 26/07/2024 19:20

How sad.

I vividly remember losing my cat at the same age. I remember holding his cold body in a towel when he collected him from the vets.

It's so sad. He was my best friend too.

Maybe give her a few days and think about her helping to make a little memorial in the garden or something?

PAYEohYEAY · 26/07/2024 19:22

So sorry about your loss. It is heart breaking.

We did a photo book for my autistic daughter as suggested above, she loved choosing the pictures.

Is she able to write a letter to the cat? Sometimes that can help, if she's able Flowers

GoldenRetrieverBert · 26/07/2024 19:25

So sorry OP, it honestly is just heartbreaking Flowers

We did a photo book as well.

We also took our DD (also autistic) to Build a Bear and got a cat bear made, with a name certificate the same name as the cat. They luckily had a bear cat similar in coloring to ours. We put a 'heart' in it, kisses the heart etc. we also put our cats collar on it. It's still treasured years later

neverbeenskiing · 26/07/2024 20:33

Thank you all for your kind replies. Some lovely ideas, I really appreciate you sharing them and to those who have also lost beloved pets, I'm sorry for your loss 💐

OP posts:
purser25 · 26/07/2024 21:09

Maybe far to young for her but goodbye Mog Judith Kerr is excellent.

neverbeenskiing · 27/07/2024 13:39

purser25 · 26/07/2024 21:09

Maybe far to young for her but goodbye Mog Judith Kerr is excellent.

Would be too young for DD but younger DC would probably be just the right age, and they love the original Mog book. Great idea, thank you.

OP posts:
ranoutofquinoaandprosecco · 27/07/2024 13:54

We lost a cat around the same age to a rta. We had a small table that the kids are now calling the memory table and we've added photos as a sort of craft project of Dcat and other animals over the years. Seemed to help them to do something practical.

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