Cried in front of my boss today, now feel stupid and sad

[Needablueskyholiday]

I have recently gone back to work after maternity leave. Today everything came to a head after a few turbulent weeks back, and ambiguity around what I will be doing. I’m being pulled from pillar to post. Long story short I could feel the lump in my throat and my eyes welling up whilst trying to address some issues with my manager. I apologised for getting upset mid conversation but he insisted I continue as he wanted to know what was wrong.

I now feel weak and stupid. Manager was supportive and kind but I still feel ridiculous and tonight questioning my decision on why I went back.

Any advice? Do you think I looked stupid or is that my low self esteem thoughts coming through?! Thanks for reading x

I’ve cried at work (professional management level). I don’t think it’s stupid or weak.
it’s a sign you’re finding it frustrating I think which is reasonable.

Oh and advice…, don’t dwell on it. Focus on getting the frustrating things fixed.

No. You didn’t look stupid. You highlighted that your back to work transition has not been well managed, and there is a lack of direction from your seniors. You showed poor people management has a direct impact on staff wellbeing and resilience. If anything, they look stupid.

Going back to work is a tough and vulnerable time. You’ll get through it! One foot in front of the other, keep speaking up, and get your union rep involved if there’s a whiff of maternity discrimination. And be kind to yourself too! Lots of sleep, water, good food and rest.

The day you should feel embarrassed about this is the same day that MAN births a baby. Being a mum is something a man will never understand the emotions, hormones, toll on your body so I really wouldn't feel sad or embarrassed in the slightest. And to be fair he seems understanding and genuine so he's probably gone home to his wife or spoke. To a female friend or a female family member and asked how best to approach this. He's there to help and you did the right thing in saying what the problem was

I did it once at work. My boss asked me if I was upset or frustrated. When I said frustrated she said take as long as you need and tell me. If I’d said upset she would have left the conversation there

after a couple of mins we had a really constructive conversation. I didn’t feel stupid at all

please dint feel weak or stupid, you really aren’t

A child is a huge change, responsibility and hard work.. love n cuddles too.. so we don’t all glide beautifully like swans into juggling work, babies, household management.. cut yourself some slack, you deserve to be understood and you’re manager wanted to give you the time to say what’s the issue. Be kind to yourself, you now have an extra job(baby) with your work job..

Please don't feel stupid OP. You were obviously stressed and upset.

You said that your manager was supportive and kind- it sounds like he was concerned about you and was trying to understand. You've been through a big life change. There is a lot of stress, you are probably tired and trying to adapt after maternity leave.

Take a breath and try to calm yourself down. Then have a think about what was causing you to feel so stressed out, and what might help to support you at work. We all have a stressful day at work sometimes, so don't kick yourself

Please don't beat yourself up for it. I have cried at work as well, which is not in my usual nature. I was feeling overworked, and had a senior co-worker that criticized my every move. I had a very kind manager that listened to me once I collected myself and helped to solve the issues.

Going back to work after mat leave is tough, especially if you aren't fitting back into the same slot, or if the roles have changed a bit.

I've cried twice at work since April, once in front of my manager, and ince in frontbof her manager. Both times because the place is being mismanaged so badly and I'm having to pick up the slack for a lot of people. It's not me who should be embarrassed it's they who should be - as should OP's manager for nit managing a positive return.

I hope you'll get things sorted out and perhaps that your boss will reflect on their failure which has resulted in your tears.

Its part of being a manager, dealing with emotions, whether frustration, upset or angry. You are not the first and you wont be the last. Let it go now, you said your piece and hopefully the problems will be sorted. You are embarrassed for being emotional and your manger is probably feeling awful for allowing a situation that has caused you this distress.
You've just had a baby, cut yourself some slack! Congratulations too.

I once had a boss who was really firm/strict. Been working for him for about 6 months and ended up crying at work due to family issues. I was mortified but he made me a cuppa and just listened to me tell him everything.
Then he cried at work a few weeks later because his dog had to be put down.

I think it's more common than you think, OP. Crying is completely natural and I'm sure your boss understands 💐

I cried at work when I was pregnant- and I was a manager!

Nothing to feel embarrassed about. Going back to work after Maternity leave is hard. The lack of sleep, the worries, the whole adjustment...there needs to be more support around it.

I hope things get easier for you.

Just to add colleagues have often cried in front of me - it was my job to help them and I never thought any less of them.

The issue is the narrative that crying is weak! It's a story used to make women feel like they can not share their emotions.

It's normal to be upset if your return to work hasn't gone as planned. It's your managers responsibility to manage this