Feel very worried about a holiday

[eggplant16]

I'm throwing this dilemma out there and hopefully will gather some ideas. I am aged 65, have a 12 day stay in Spain arranged in September. I'm worried its too long, I'll feel isolated and wobbly mentally. Going with partner. Been through a lot in recent years. don't want to get there and feel miserable.
Maybe its just negativity.
Thanks for reading.

We have a ‘big’ holiday every couple of years and I spend months planning it and getting excited. Till about a month before and then the anxiety sets in. I worry about all the small things that could go wrong, to the point that I convince myself I don’t want to go. But once I’m there it’s wonderful and I enjoy it. My advice to you is to accept these feelings, make some ‘just in case’ plans and share your feelings with your partner if you can.
Have a fabulous holiday, Spain is a wonderful country.

I think it’s normal to feel anxious about holidays.

I’m sure that once you’re there, you’ll really enjoy it.

I understand you OP. We are all supposed to be so ‘excited’ for holidays but when you have had a set back, going out of your routine and comfort zone is daunting.
I lost my beloved gran last year and also moved back to my home town (a very good move) after 12 years overseas. And I feel a bit the same as you. We are going on our usual holiday in Wales which we love and enjoy every year but the family want to go somewhere else in September. Of course it sounds brilliant but I am nervous - the idea of being away somewhere new (yet MORE new for me), away from my support network here… I guess I will enjoy it once I am there but just wanted to tell you that what you are feeling is normal.

Thanks, I'm not convinced I'll feel OK.

Is it somewhere you've been before?

Yes we went 5 years ago for a week. In a hotel , so a bit of life around the place. This time a flat for longer.

I suspect it's the feeling of being trapped over there that's the issue? Worst case, it's spain, it's probably easier to get back to than most areas in the UK. Just jump on a flight back home.

Why are you worried you'll feel isolated and mentally wobbly if you're going with your DP? You suffer with MH problems? Do you have a support network at home that you need on a daily basis? Going abroad isn't the comms desert it used to be - you can call, text, WhatsApp, etc all the time if you want to. Have you researched what there is to do in the area you're staying in? Will you be hiring a car? Are there bars, restaurants, shops, etc that you can walk to from where you're staying or good public transport?

Thanks, I know I could come home easily but whats the point in that? Going somewhere and plotting your escape route.
Do appreciate any insights.

Yes on going struggle with low mood. Don't need daily support but good to know bits and pieces are in place. Yes to car, yes to public transport, yes to shops and bars.

Thanks , good question.

Okay, so you're not staying in the middle of nowhere with no transport! That's good. Have you made a list of things you'd like to do and see nearby? If not, I'd do some research and think about the way you'd like to spend your days. That way you won't be worried that you'll be just sitting at the apartment being bored and miserable - you'll have a plan. Have you sought help from your GP for your low mood? If not, please do. A huge proportion of the British population are on anti-depressants and there is no stigma or shame to be one of them. If you have already sought help and are still struggling, have you been back to ask if you can try a different course of treatment?

Thanks, had spells on meds. Don't havce a problem taking them but the first few weeks are grim.
Thats whats holding me back and the slightly removed / spaced out feeling.

Good suggestions.

spells meaning periods of time.....think its Scottish?

How is your relationship with DP? Do you enjoy each other's company and will he support you through any wobbles?

Often when I go away with my DP I have to "escape" on my own somewhere. It's not because he's mad or bad or anything, but sometimes being at such close quarters 24/7 requires a bit of a break from each other! We are very happy together though and he does the same on the odd day here and there.

Despite what you read, going on holidays can be stressful on many levels. Accept that and go with it. Have strategies for relaxation, a book, some wine, a shady spot to lie in and rest, a good podcast series, things like that. You will be surprised that after a couple of days you will get into a rhythm and hopefully you will enjoy it as best you can.

Sounds as if your more concerned about your partner op than the actual holiday , which may be the break you need and things might be different because your away and you'll find it won't be as bad you think ?
I admit that I stress out before a holiday , but apart from a few minor blips or problems you get going anywhere , it's always been alright and it's more the overthinking of it all than the actual holiday which tends to be the biggest worry.

I suffer with anxiety so understand your fears but really think the sun will be very healing and make you feel better. Wish I was going to Spain

Can I recommend Bach Rescue Remedy gummies and also spray and liquid. I find this helpful when feeling wobbly. I would echo researching the area and finding things to do. It sounds like you would be happier in company so perhaps some tours or experiences you can do together or on your own may signpost the days and give you a sense of routine.

Thats the daft thing about it! I'm sure many people wish they were going and I'm extremely lucky to have this opportunity.

There was another thread about holiday stress the other week on here and you'd be surprised how many people become worried / stressed before a holiday.
I appreciate that many people won't be going anywhere this year , but holidays are important for many people and most manage to do something, even if it's only for a few days , yet knowing this doesn't stop the anxiety around traveling and being somewhere different to your usual environment. It's a bit like saying you can't suffer from depression if you happen to be wealthy, which we all know is rubbish.
I think it's natural to be a bit apprehensive about it, but I know that not everyone is like me and take it more in their stride, even airports which can be overwhelming and stressful.
I've never been a particularly positive person, but I think people worry more about things than they let on tbh , especially as we get older, but that might just be me.

Thanks, I'm not overly worried about the airport or the trip. What I'm concerned about is having all my props removed, nothing to do, restless, lonely.

I don't suffer from anxiety, but I always get the yips before a holiday. What if it's not as nice as I thought it would be, what if I chose the wrong place, what if the accommodation is shit, what if my luggage goes awol. Never had a duff one yet, but I still stress. I think it's normal.i hope you have a lovely time.

Is it worth making a vague plan for each day, then you have a schedule. It can always change, but I find that helpful. So, for example, day 1 cathedral in morning, beach afternoon, day 2 excursion, day 3 pool, research somewhere nice for dinner.

My sister goes a bit overboard on this and it's like the strategy for a military invasion, but I dial it back a bit...

Thanks for all kind and helpful suggestions. We have shortened the break and I feel happy all will go well.