You are middle aged and middle class

[Pebbles16]

On Chat because I am not ready for the AIBU pile on....
My question is WHY would anyone do this?
So: met up with a friend yesterday and took a call because I am desperately job hunting and it was a recruitment person. Apologised and reported back to her (which is unlike me) that I have an interview.
It's a BIG job. I am nearing the end of my professional career (because, as a woman in her 50s, I have a much shorter shelf life than male colleagues). My friend is about 8/10 years younger than me and her response was "stop aspiring, you're just so middle aged and middle class".
This really stung and I KNOW that it's jealousy and insecurity.
I asked her if she was okay and she just said "yes, why wouldn't I be?".
Felt a bit sad, we were towards to the end of our meet up so just said good bye.
Have been hoping that she might have worked out today that she was harsh and would get in touch. No.
In my mind, I'm not going to contact her because I've realised this a pattern of exhausting behaviour.
But, does anyone have an idea why people are so unsupportive to their 'friends"?

Firstly your friend is vile
secondly - really?! Your professional life is coming to an end in your 50’s
keep striving and aspiring - why wouldn’t you

I would say if you’re middle aged, surely you’re old enough now not to be bothered by such an inane comment and laugh it off.

So what? Maybe she is jealous, maybe she’s not. Who gives a damn!

Your friend is a twat.

I wouldn't bother contacting her.

What an unnecessary and horrible comment! I wouldn't rush to get back in touch with her!

I’d say that comment was born of narcissism rather than anything middle-related.

Sorry your friend has mentally written you off. Not much of a friend.
Good luck with the interview!

What a mean thing to say. I would be upset too.

Btw men in their 50s definitely have a shelf life too IMO.

I would drop her, no one needs such negativity and it doesn't sound like it was the first time.

Rude rude rude.

What an absolute bitch. She's obviously jealous of your success.

Literally no idea what she meant with that, as if ambition and being interested in your job is a bad thing. Bin them off. This is on them, not you

Wow that’s no friend of yours. Success is the best revenge. Go for it.

"stop aspiring" 🤣🤣🤣 WTF?!!

Well, assuming you prefer friends who admire & support your ambitions, you now know this crackpot is not a friend. Sorry for your loss.

You need a new job and new friends.

And don’t feel that you’re middle aged and winding down your career either- you’ll have a wealth of experience to bring.

You should have hit her with the mumsnet response; 'Did you mean to be so rude?'
She's horrible. And jealous,
Hope you get the job.

Well, she's a bit of a cowbag, isn't she? Does she have form for taking the wind out of your sails like that?

You're in your 50s, applying for jobs, looking to keep on being successful. You're absolutely not being too ambitious or whatever. Good on you! With probably 10-15 working years left, you want to be doing something that you thrive on and enjoy.
What she said sounds borne of jealousy and also probably realising that she hasn't been as ambitious as she could have been. I'd be limiting my time around her, she sounds more a drain than a radiator. Surround yourself with people who will encourage and lift you up.

Oh thank you people.
I have to admit, I took her comments to heart and then tried to get my big girl pants on - but had difficulty with one leg because I took her comment to heart.
We all have different lives.
I was tempted to message her to ask if she was okay, but I won't bother.

because, as a woman in her 50s, I have a much shorter shelf life than male colleagues

Do you? Why?

Probably is, so many of my 'middle aged' friends just aren't getting jobs. Have no idea why because we are awesome (but rarely feel like it)

Yes, why do you think it is all over in your 50's? My much older sister will be 80 this year and she is as busy as ever working in international education.

Well, she sounds delightful.

You don’t need her ‘friendship’.

Good luck with the interview - go and he absolutely brilliant. Don’t look back.

I just want to say, how exciting for you. I hope you get the job and love it!

I never tell friends what I earn anymore. They ask and I’ll say “enough to pay the bills” because they get weird when I say my salary. It’s not absurd but above average and they don’t understand.

She's a jealous muppet. Get the job, leave the muppet where you found her 😁

She was horrible but just wanted to say you can keep aspiring. I’m 67 and having been made redundant at the start of the pandemic I found a new job, moved again to a new role last November and got promoted again this June. I’m not ready to give up the fray or my salary yet. I do have retired friends who don’t really understand my choices but they have never had careers as such and I’d hate to be them.