The rise of online misogyny?

[Honeysp00n]

The other day there was an article on the BBC website about the spread of online misogyny essentially radicalising young and not so young men against women.

I certainly have noticed more and more content about dating, relationships and inter gender animosities in my feeds.

What I notice in videos by women is that mostly they are talking about having boundaries, knowing your worth as a person (i.e. that it doesn’t reside in what a man thinks of you), how to look after yourself when dating and on apps and what is and isn’t acceptable behaviour i.e. how to spot someone who is controlling and abusive. While some may warn against certain men or men with certain behaviours I haven’t noticed any that say all men are bad or that focus on the men at all.

When I see videos from men most are either pick up artist types supposedly teaching you how to charm a woman into bed with you or ones where men just sit there an rage against women in general. All women are immoral, women cannot love, women only use men for resources, women only want Chad, all western women are evil but it’s ok because they will all end up alone with a bunch of cats and that they are going crazy because now men are walking away from them and won’t pursue them anymore and they will all get to laugh at sad depressed women in their 30’s, 40’s and 50’s who ended up childless and alone and full of regret that she dumped a guy like him when she was young and hot. Also they brag about how they are going overseas to find traditional women to marry who are thin and young ( what forever?) to have their children and they encourage other men to go overseas to find a woman who will respect them as men and know their place. As if they don’t see these women from “overseas” as real people but just a utility that they can hopefully exploit.

I get that much of this is click bait, it plays into the worst impulses of people and earns the shameless creator a few dollars so they play up to it but the comments are also full of men who watch this stuff and agree with it.

If men are so happy with not dating women especially western women, if they are also happy and fulfilled with the passport bro lifestyle then why are they literally obsessed with the very women they seem to hate? Why is that all they talk about or make content about?

They need us a lot more than we need them.

And the idea that a woman who had slept with a few people will have a massive vagina with all the derogatory terms to go with it, but having one sexual partner and fulfilling his needs over the years will somehow leave her vagina forever tight is on almost every comment section about woman.
However no woman will correct a man on his warped thinking because most woman are quite happy to join in and slag off a woman who (does exactly what men do) have a few sexual partners.

Woman see other woman as a threat and that's why they join in with derogatory comments about her rather than forming a unity between woman as men have done.

Males act like dogs when with other males. A lot of it is impressing the other guys, showing who's got the biggest dick. The thing is, those seem to be the nice ones, the ones who see other males as competition, but confident in their abilities with women. The ones who loose at this game are the ones who bond with other men in their hatred of women.

I was on a London bus and I overheard a lad in his mid-teens say he won't put up with a woman in his life who has had lots of previous boyfriends and was proud to say to his friend that his wife will not leave the house ever, she'll service his needs completely.

This is partly teenage bollocks but partly influences by the internet, peers and friends.

I think boys need good role models. That doesn't have to be a father, it could be an uncle, a grandfather, a teacher or someone else with positive behaviours. I always remember how football pundit Ian Wright spoke of his teacher, who had such an impact on his life.

Unfortunately many boys lack such a role model and latch onto anyone who takes an interest, positively or negatively, in them, and that includes characters like AT and a myriad of other"incel" influencers online. It's grooming, by any other name.

Out of interest, are there any good male TV role models out there? (I don't have a TV). Or good internet role models?

I miss Macgyver.... ;)

I've seen plenty of women correcting this. Some men too.

But of course, it's women's fault that some men hate us, it always is, right...

It isn’t just the Andrew Tate effect, its the ‘mild’ stuff as well, look at Zara from strictly and how many people are blaming her for Graziano being fired, then Giovanni feeling comfortable and safe enough to refer to his dance partner on stage as “that mad woman”.

Look at the backlash Amanda Abbington faced as well. MNers were lining up to gleefully declare what a pain in the arse she was to work with.

Women face far more backlash when men have behaved badly.
Men are excused from behaving badly. We’ve all seen headlines like “family man, pillar of community, kills wife and children”. They’re somehow always assumed to be driven to these acts, rather than just being shitty humans, unlike women in the rare cases where they murder or commit DV.

Look at the way Jill Biden was blamed for Joe not stepping down as soon as the public would have liked.

Good point

@MrsTerryPratchett It's the difference between benign sexism, and hateful misogyny

Yes that's exactly what the distinction is. Its on a whole new level. Active hate rather than a passive disinterest.

The worst one I’ve seen on my feed is pearl. Shes a woman who is making a fortune telling women they are worthless unless they are under the age of 25, a virgin and willing to everything for a husband. I saw one of her clips where she downplayed women’s ability to get pregnant/ give birth as “even dogs can give birth.” She has a huge following, mostly men who idolise her. I’ve seen some horrible men talking shit about women, but hearing it from a woman makes it even worse. I hardly ever go on Facebook anymore because I’m fed up of all the hate it’s depressing.

@K37529 Yeah she is kind of unbelievable. She herself is 27 and a "post wall hag" by her own standards. I don't know what her deal is, I think she has very low self esteem and perhaps hates herself and women in general (internalised misogyny) and because she herself doesn't fit the beauty standard and seems to be single perhaps she feels like the only way she can get male attention or approval is by pandering to them and their worst impulses? Of course it is also a massive grift and perhaps she is just going after the cash but I do think she is a rather sad, pitiable figure.

I saw this woman as well https://www.youtube.com/@thehappywifeschool who I think is doing her version of the surrendered wife. Her schtick is that men are never wrong and that if you are unhappy in your marriage, if you husband is doing something wrong it is always your fault, you must assume blame for everything and always put your husband first, never emasculate him or be disagreeable or deny him sex or ever upset him because it is always the woman's fault. Of course she has a course she is selling courses that cost $1000's and is of course just another grifter but I mean who actually falls for this kind of shit, I feel genuinely sorry for the women who feel they need to listen to someone like this.

I think she is probably ripping off the surrendered wife who is the woman who advises other women to never question their husbands on anything even if you know he is about to make a huge mistake and ruin the family financially, make you all homeless that his his lesson as a man to learn and it is the woman's role to blindly support her husband. Essentially it is the woman's job to choose a man who she can 100% put her faith in to lead and that if she just has faith in him he will rise to the occasion and if he somehow doesn't and fails or is a bad husband who cheats or abuses or her is a bad father its her fault for not being a good enough wife. I think she may also be a proponent of husbands disciplining their wives i.e. spanking (or beating them) if they do something the husband doesn't like.

Its just madness because all these people seem to hold that women are like children or simpletons who need a man to lead them through life and yet at the same time they are also selfish, scheming manipulative bitches, can we really be both? Regardless if anything goes wrong it is always the woman's fault.

Its both sad and disgusting that their are women out there pedalling this crap and even sadder that there are sad, abused women who probably fall for it.

Look at the case of Lauren Southern the red pill adjacent right wing commentator who quit her media career to become a trad wife and ended up in a deeply abusive marriage with a man who would for example lock her out of their home in the rain for hours because he was angry with her. She is now a single divorced mother, just like Mikhaila Peterson is or was I don't know her personal status currently. But both there women touted the trad wife, be submissive type of relationships but they both got divorced from bad marriages and yet they still push this outdated ideal on other women because their main audience (i.e. source of income) is men who think women should be their chattle to do with as they wish.

I am at least very glad that most women see right through this kind of shit but it's prevalence does make life harder for women. If you want nightmares about where married men go to learn how to be abusers take a look at the r/marriedpill on reddit but don't say I didn't warn you it is some sicking stuff.

I may be seeing this too late, but this topic is important and always timely. I’ve been coaching women (and some men) around the issue of gender roles with some success. Not all men want a bimbo wife just as not all women want a dominant husband. Aligning expectations is the beginning of finding a working partnership but far from the end. Life invariably brings twists and turns that are unexpected or exhausting, or scary. The best couples, the ones where the relationship continues to work over time are the ones where each partner does their best to exceed the expectations of the other. That means that even the most traditional dads pitch in with the kitchen and cleaning and child raising. Even the most Type A women recognize the importance of sex. Honest communication, knowing one’s own values (and value) and being flexible all go a long way to keeping life on good terms with our hopes and dreams.