Tips for overcoming depression after surgery please

[AddictedtoStarmix]

I have currently had half a lung removed - totally unexpected.
Was admitted due to difficulty breathing, which turned out to be a collapsed lung. The initial drain wasn't secured properly causing an air leak, and then when they came to operate they found two blood clots, which consequently led to half my lung removed.
Still in the process of recovering and have really hit a wall of situational depression. The causes are obvious and I have good structures in place to manage my wellbeing ordinarily. But I am really struggling as I have not been given/can't find any rough guidelines of how long this may last.
As much of my complications have occurred through a medical error, I have had little guidance from medical professionals.
I just wondered if anybody has any real life anecdotes regarding the depressive slump following major surgery, what helped them, how long it lasted etc. I appreciate everyone's experience is unique, but any information would be helpful at the moment.

Both myself and my DD have had major spinal surgery in the past. I am not certain on your current post-op restrictions but by far the most helpful thing for both of us was making sure that we got out of the house at least once a day, every day. Even something as simple as a trip to the supermarket does wonders to break the cabin fever and monotonous lying around TV watching. Friend and family support is essential, lots of trips out for coffee etc!

Thank you for your reply.
Luckily I am managing to get out each day and have great support from family and friends.
I'm getting up and dressed each day. Trying to eat and sleep well but it all feels so overwhelming.
Patience is not one of my virtues obviously😂.

Hi OP, I've just found your thread. Your operation sounds really traumatic. I think I'd ask my GP for some guidance as surely the medical team should give some thought to your wellbeing after such an incident? Have you had any support at all since your post a few weeks ago?

I had surgery on the 25th, for something that is onstensibly supposed to improve my quality of life, but I am really struggling to see the upside at the moment.

I am able to go out for short walks but can't go in the car as I can't sit on my stitches.

I feel so low. There isn't a day where I havent sobbed my heart out. The stitches are so sore, I don't feel like there has been any improvement on how I felt before the operation, if anything I have so many restrictions on me, I feel like there was no point at all.

How are you feeling now and if you feel better, how did you manage it? I don't really have friends locally, I have one good friend who lives at the other end of the country and she's texted which is nice, but I can't do any socialising really. DH has had time off to help do the housework and look after DC but I feel bad for crying on him constantly.

I really don't want to resort to anti-depressants.

I'd really appreciate any tips you might have.

Ooh op. I had a lung collapse and a bit removed . I remember feeling numb and knackered for a while after.
I didn’t have the added worry of medical negligence though . You would be best to get a medical negligence lawyer to advice you on next steps.

My scars are a bit sensitive if I touch them and I have to be careful what I wear to avoid rubbing but they are there because I survived. My surgery was abroad so added anxiety. It wasn’t planned or cosmetic.

One ‘delightful young lady ‘ commented on my “ugly scars”. Nice.

Thank you so much for your responses, so grateful to hear that my emotional responses are normal.
Really feel gaslighted by the NHS at the moment as I have received no aftercare from the hospital and have has to ask my GP to chase it up.
Despite them removing the lung due to blood clots, I'm not on any thinners, no meds, no physio, nothing. My friends who were with me in A&E have also confirmed that I was initially told I would need a drain for 24hrs ish to help the lung re-inflate and then would be home, which pretty much confirms that the damage was caused by the drain not being secured in place.
The medical professionals I have seen have advised I put in a complaint, which I will do when I feel up to it.
Still very up and down emotionally. I have been as proactive as possible in my recovery (have googled physio exercises etc) and my recovery is moving in the right way, but still struggling to breathe, particularly through the humidity.
I used to love singing, and having learned a few chords on the piano during lockdown, I used to entertain myself for hours playing and was great for lifting my mood. At the moment my vocal chords are still very damaged from the tubes down my throat and my left arm is still quite numb from the nerve damage caused during the surgery and the reality that these may not fully recover is difficult to accept at the moment.
I am trying to practise radical acceptance and having gratitude that things could be worse but I guess I just have to grieve what's changed and slowly adapt.
Thank you so much for your replies, just really helpful to be reminded that I am not alone in my experiences.
@Droolylabradors, thinking of you, the feelings of disempowerment are overwhelming sometimes!
Take some consolation that you will still have a lot of medication in your system which I found made my mental state far worse, had such extreme moments of blackness, that I genuinely didn't feel I was going to pull through. These have subsided now one month after surgery and reducing pain meds to nurofen, so I really hope you feel some improvement soon. Definitely felt slightly better once the stitches were removed too.
Please add to the thread or message if your feeling isolated and alone, we can all console each other that we are not and that we will get through this.

@AddictedtoStarmix I am so so sorry you are going through this. I am glad your GP is supporting you and I really hope you have the fortitude and resilience to keep pushing this.

I hope you have friends who can keep you 'up'. My DD is a singer and I can only imagine the impact on her if she couldn't create her music again. I'm sure it's been recommended but during covid there were some choral exercises to help covid survivors improve their breathing. As a singer I bet you have an idea of how this works but just in case it hasn't occurred to you through the chaos of what you've been going through. But perhaps you will regain some strength in your breathing to allow you to sing again.

I could have been sympathetic before my surgery but now I've also had to face the same thing, it's so so hard.

I spent some time with a therapist ahead of my surgery, I'm not sure it helped me come to terms with anything but at least I was able to vent at someone other than my husband.

I bought some colouring pencils yesterday and tried some mindful colouring. It's not really me, but I'll keep going with it!

I did manage to take my lovely plodding older dog out early this morning before it got too hot and I felt better than I have since my surgery and I saw some pretty pink sunrise clouds. I think that's the highlight of my day.

I've spent the last few days crying, hoping I can get through at least this morning before I cry again.

I didn't think that the drugs would still be in my system after 2.5weeks but maybe they are. I certainly don't seem to have enough sensible perspective yet.

I hope your Monday goes well and you have a pretty pink cloud moment today. X

Outdoors, countryside, trees, fields. Gets you away from everyday issues and people!!
Best thing to help me reset.

My surgery meant I was bed bound effectively for many weeks in recovery, so slightly different perhaps, but I found great escapism in computer games. The Sims (which is free to download and play), or Two Point Hospital or Civilization V or Rollercoaster Tycoon. You can buy and download them on a laptop almost instantly from somewhere like Steam. Really helped my mood from getting too low/ frustrated while I healed and it appealed to my desire to want to do something creative.