Always feel so down after going to the hairdressers

[pinkkkkk]

I have a really lovely hairdresser, she is my age (mid 20s) and very friendly and easy to chat to. However, she is someone who would never be friends with me - she is outgoing with a good social life, a boyfriend and she tells me all about her holidays and partying. My life is sooo empty and boring and I feel old for my time. I don't really have any friends, I'm single and live with parents still. I work from home. My idea of a fun weekend is going out to lunch with my parents...

I always feel weird after going to the hairdressers because I think part of the reason I go is because I enjoy chatting to her so much, I feel like I pay to be able to pretend to have a friend to chat to for a few hours. But it is always a stark reminder of the life I should be living and what I could have had if I had made better choices in my early 20s. I have slowly isolated myself without even realising.

I know that this a powerful lesson that there is obviously something more I am wanting out of my life, but that doesn't really help me as I wouldn't even know where to start to try and get a life.

It sounds like you’re very unhappy with your current situation- do you have an idea of what you would like your life to include?

What small changes could you make today to bring you closer to what you want?

You are so young, you can 100% change your life. I would start by finding a job that is not WFH, so you are out meeting people every day. I would also think about moving into a house share with other people your age - take your time and find one where the other housemates are friendly and you like the look of them. Join a gym, try out parkrun, generally get yourself around people, and friendships are likely to follow.

If you think about your hairdresser, she is meeting people all day every day, and benefits from that social contact. There is no reason you need to deprive yourself of the same thing.

It sounds like you need to try and mix with people a bit more. You could join a book club, or take up a sport or volunteer at the weekends. Anything to put you in contact with people as a first step.

You can completely change your life if you want to.

I would echo the find a job where you are working with people rather than from home.

If you want more of the world, you have to throw yourself at the world. Or at least move towards it. It will feel uncomfortable. But it will take you somewhere new.

So a new job, hobbies, join groups, do Meet Up, start dating. Anything. Something new.