I know I should be more sympathetic and I think my mum is a hero but,

[Traineraoc]

My Dad is having hormone injections as part of treatment for prostate cancer. He's doing well, is cancer free and expects to stop them soon. However, he is making such a fuss about the symptoms, essentially exactly the same as the ones me and DSis are experiencing and presumably mum did too, due to menopause.

I get a cancer diagnosis is a scary thing, and we've all been very worried for him, but he's coming through that now. If I hear one more word about hot flushes, poor sleep, brain fog, aches and pains....

This sounds familiar. My DH was diagnosed with bowel cancer recently and has had chemo followed by surgery and now going through post-surgery chemo and is ANGRY about it. I can understand why; the biopsy after surgery showed it was removed and his consultant made the mistake of describing him as 'cured'. So why does he have to go through all this awful additional treatment? Why keep his life on hold? (can't work during this stuff)
Given your dad is still having treatment and suffering side effects, I'd bet from his perspective he's still very much in the middle of it. I agree with you that complaints are tiring - All I do these days is tell myself we're SO close to the end of this whole sorry mess and it'll be a distant memory this time next year...

I may have a relative who was remarkably healthy until his late 70s, and then was diagnosed with cancer - that was treated without a single night in hospital or horrendous chemo dose or anything like that. It was his first ever encounter with physical symptoms or hospital appointments. Many deep breaths were taken.

Women complain about the symptoms of the menopause all the time. Why can't he complain about the symptoms of his treatment?

He can, but he seems to think he's the only one who's ever suffered. He definitely doesn't want to hear that we all know what he's going through.

I think you are being unreasonable here. Menopause is hard but it's not a death sentence. Cancer can be.
Give the poor bloke a break ffs!!

I think it's probably anxiety (about the cancer), but also embarrassment, because to him this not something that should happen to men. So the side effects of the medication will feel so unfair to him and probably makes him angry. Feelings around cancer treatment and the side effects can be very complex.

Yes this. Can't believe your attitude. You're not the one facing a potential death sentence. It must be terrifying even if the prognosis and treatment are good.

I had to have the same injection to induce chemical menopause before I had surgical menopause. I’m post menopausal and still have joint pain now but the pain from the prostap was another level to what I have now. Try not to be too hard on him.

This.

And I say this as someone with breast cancer whose chemo has caused chemical menopause too. Lucky me.

I’ve had similar medication/injection, but for treating endometriosis (FIL had the exact same medication as me)

I found the hot flushes much stronger with the medication than in menopause.
But then I also suffered from severe side effects from the medication and had to stop it.

Still, I do think that men often do not realise how bad some stuff we go through are because they are ‘natural’ whereas they are ILL.
And I’m saying that as someone with a chronic illness and very poor quality of life.

Yes cancer is scary. But so are many other illnesses.