The super anxious vs those with normal levels of anxiety - differences in daily life experiences?

[PhantomSmoke]

I’d like to hear from those with high anxiety - what situations cause you anxiety? What situations do you feel chilled/relaxed?

And the same for those who would consider themselves to have normal levels of anxiety?

The reason I ask is because I read a thread on here where the OP was saying that going to the hairdressers is her chill out / relaxation time, whereas for me, it’s such a point of high anxiety that I’ve been cutting my own hair for the past 20 years to avoid it. So that was quite eye opening to me, and I thought, wow that must be nice! (not in a catty way, genuinely). Yet I’m sure there are situations where that person is anxious, as well.

People have such wildly different experiences of navigating even the most mundane of daily activities. For example, if the phone rings I panic. I hate talking on the phone. I can talk to people in person but when it’s just a voice, it’s the worst.

I guess leaving the house, driving, public transport, talking to people, going to work, talking on phone/zoom, going into a shop, going to any kind of new venue or leisure activity without a fairly comprehensive scouting out and plan, are probably the main things that cause me a large amount of anxiety. I went for a run at work on lunch break recently, happy running, know area, no concerns but so anxious I thought I was going to vomit before. No idea why.
I have to do slightly odd rituals to offset things like if I'm driving and the lights I am approaching are green I have to hold my breath until I have hone through or if they go red again until I have stopped at them. I don't know to what extent other people have things like that they have to do being out and about.
Haircuts I just don't like people touching me so that's why I cut my own hair.

I do do all the things that I listed that occasionally make my chest hurt with anxiety but it's not always pleasant and I do sometimes have panic attacks but that's life.
Oddly high stress work situations don't really make me feel extra stressed. I used to work in A&E and that was fine apart from journeying to and from work.

i don't have any anxiety. I do all the above listed without any problems. I get a bit nervous in tax season and if I have a lot of paperwork to get through, but not anxious.

I have worked on some things that made me anxious in the past. I used to be anxious about meeting new people or public speaking or large gatherings. So I actively sought out those things, and now I love all of them.

I'm generally not anxious but some situations make me very anxious.
Driving on the motorway especially at busy times is very stressful. It's unavoidable for me and I have to do it regularly. I wish we had more regular and reliable trains so that I could avoid it altogether.
Going for walks where there will be dogs. I think most dog owners have no idea of the anxiety a dog off lead can cause for some people.

The only anxiety I have is parking the car. I know it might sound trivial for some people but I will actually walk quite a distance or leave a car park if there isn't a space where I can drive right through.
It stems from a couple of incidents over 20 years ago when I went into a space that was at the end of the car park with a wall so only one way out by reversing. I was sitting there crying wondering how i was going to get out. Our workplace carpark had a very similar setup and I'd see these massive 4x4s parked there in awe of how anybody could get out of there.

Can sympathize over the car parking worries/ anxiety. I am the same too.

Most every day stuff is fine for me but I do get a bit anxious with paperwork, tax returns, taking out insurance policies, all the complex stuff I have to do for my DS who has SENs. I can do all this, I have to as no one else is going to do it for me but I hate it. I think it's normal to feel like this around the SEN stuff, but most people can probably take out an insurance policy without worrying about every aspect of the fine print and did I answer correctly etc. I think this stems from a few years ago it was worse and I went to the GP about mild anxiety (I think it was peri-related in hindsight) and then I tried to take out a budget travel insurance for a two day break and had to declare it and was refused cover, now I dread doing travel insurance as between us we have quite a few pre-existing conditions.

Some driving situations too, the QE2 bridge, busy wide sections of the M25 at rush hour in the dark etc.

I'm generally quite anxious but it's usually manageable. I get anxious about social things. For example, tonight I'm going to a fancy work event and I have butterflies thinking about what to wear and what to say to people there. I'm fine when it's socialising with close friends but if it's people I don't know so well I get anxious. I also get anxious about speaking out at big work meetings - I'm fine in small meetings but don't like talking to 30 people!
I get anxious about driving on motorways. I feel quite panicky about it.
I have to say my anxiety has gone through the roof lately because of perimenopause. It definitely feels like some sort of hormonal shift. I've started to feel slightly claustrophobic for the first time in my life. For example, I don't like crowded trains or meetings that last hours. They make me feel completely trapped.
This week I've been feeling anxious about my child leaving primary school and some friendship issues he's been having. Usually, I'd feel mild anxiety about these sort of things but I've actually been feeling sick, lost my appetite and have had trouble sleeping over it! I really do put this high level of anxiety down to hormonal changes. I was never this bad before.

I don't get anxiety for any day to day stuff I do really.
My anxiety has all been related to my dc and their actions (MH/SI/risky behaviour etc). So things that I can't personally control.
If I didn't have dc, I'd be zen ✌️

I’m very lucky that I don’t seem to suffer with anxiety, or I haven’t done so far in life. I enjoy leaving the house, socialising and doing things for me (haircuts, nails etc). Certain things may make me nervous, I started a new job and I was nervous about being new and not knowing what to do etc but I acknowledge these as completely normal feelings in the given situation. I was nervous when I was coming up to my babies due date, but again a normal reason to be nervous. I do get parking nerves but most of the time I know I’m being silly because I’ve never had a major major problem parking (might have to walk a bit more) and I just deal with the situation as it happens.

Feeling nervous in unfamiliar situations- before exams and interviews- and worrying about your DC is normal. It's not anxiety, as you say @MammaTo.

Another anxious driver and parking on top of it too 🙋‍♀️to the point where sometimes I have had to drive home if I can't park. If I am driving somewhere new I will scrutinise the parking situation at least a few days before hand on google maps. And before anyone pipes up saying if you can't park you shouldn't be driving, I am an excellent driver. I fear car parks and the roads around where I live because of experiencing aggressive drivers, which are full on in my area (I am not in the UK).

I struggle with anxiety and it is a recent thing for me. I have always been nervous and risk averse but the last few months I have developed severe generalised anxiety mainly around my health. Completing day to day things really depends on my anxiety that particular day rather than specific activities setting it off. If I'm having a bad day with anxiety it affects how I cope with everything that day and yet the following day I might not have any anxiety and all the things I couldn't handle the previous day are no issue.

Hate to be under any sort of scrutiny
doctor
dentist
hairdresser
optician
always assume the outcome will be bad 😧

I have period, like now, when it is everything. Even texting when of my oldest and more trusted friend is making me want to self harm.
I'm lucky that I get comfort from asking my husband and mum the same questions over and over again. They will always answer and stay calm even if i ask the same thing 20+ times a day.

Everything everyone has already mentioned isn't that normal?

My negative feelings about something are never stronger than my will to do it. And I’ve readjusted to the mindset of, we will all be long dead in 100 years and nobody will ever really speak our names again, so what’s the worst that can happen.

Similar to a PP, it varies but - leaving the house, driving, using public transport, shopping, talking to people (including people I like and I want to talk to), work, doing anything new, going anywhere new, holidays, eating out, sending emails and messages, speaking on the phone, going to appointments, going to groups.

Basically my brain is always on high alert and trying to protect me from perceived threats; and depending on how overwhelmed I am by life at any given time, this can be basically anything that isn't sitting at home doing very little.

I try my best to do things anyway, because in the past I gave in to the anxiety and ended up even more isolated and depressed than I normally am, and I don't want that to happen again. But it means I spend a heck of a lot of time feeling sick, dizzy, breathless, heart racing, detached and fighting an almost overwhelming need to escape from situations.

I hate making phone calls - surprisingly I'm better if someone calls me.

Also very anxious around new places.

And I won't drive despite being able to.

My brother does a lot of solo travel - meeting people, no plans, turning up places and hoping for the best. I could never do that.

But I look at the positives. I am always prepared and have a plan B. People rely on me to be organised and planned. I am capable, independent and resilient. And at work - I spend a lot of time making sure I fully understand issues. I can't bullshit and I can smell it a mile away in others.

I will happily make any phone call.
Happily drive anywhere.
Happily make 'big decision' purchases.
Happily sell stuff.
Be first on the scene to help in an accident/fight.

But -
hate getting petrol
hate going to the hairdresser/dentist/nail tech
would not go to cinema or eat out alone.

I hate public speaking, walking into somewhere new alone (without friends), making small talk.

Bizarrely I've had to do public speaking and small talk A LOT in my job, so I'm actually quite skilled at it, but I'm wracked with nerves beforehand. I have no idea why when it's become second nature

Oh I also get anxious about sensations – feeling dizzy is a trigger for me. Suffered from panic attacks as a teen and feeling dizzy/fainting was an anxiety trigger because I found it so unpleasant

Pretty much anything! Driving, going outside when the neighbours are there (they are lovely), working, Teams calls, phoning someone etc etc.
Basically my life is ran by my extreme anxiety which fluctuates from pretty bad to debilitating

Most things on here aren't anxiety though. They are things that make you feel nervous or worried which is part of being human.

For me it's visualising things so vividly that I actually feel I'm living them. So, if the DC are going out for a night I imagine all sorts of stuff that I can't even bring myself to write down - and I then watch it happening to them. I hear and see everything. A car journey becomes a fatal accident (I hate it when 4 of us travel together because I live through the 5th one being told and how they would cope afterwards). A walk with the dog is a violent murder. My whole life feels like I'm walking a tightrope across utter disaster.

I've had counselling and now understand why I think this way and how I can manage the violent/terrifying thoughts and take medication which has really helped. It's not nice at all though.