I didn't get the job

[WingingIt101]

I'm feeling sorry for myself.

I work in a fairly niche role and have done so for around 15 years, working my way up and - if i may say so - I am very good at what I do.

3 years ago I moved from a prestigious company who underpaid and traded on the brand name to another organisation in the same industry with zero kudos but better pay and work life balance.

That was a mistake. They don't care about the function I run. There is zero buy in no matter how hard I try, how much evidence I present. I firmly believe I am a box ticked "yes we have that function and oh look it's filled by a woman!" (Very heavily male dominated industry. It is making me miserable and I feel turning my brain to mush as I'm not using my skills.

I have been applying for jobs and never get anywhere. I have had a professional cv writer review my CV and used that for applications. I take time to personalise my applications to the roles. I only apply for roles that I can demonstrate I have done 90%+ of the things on the job spec.
I have applied within my current industry and outside of it.
Nothing. Not ever getting out of the cv sift.

Then I was approached. I met with the ceo of the hiring firm. They flew me out to head office to meet everyone. They knew the only thing missing from my application was experience in this specific industry.
I heard today I didn't get it and they've offered someone with industry experience. I'm absolutely gutted.

My self esteem is on the floor anyway and I stupidly let myself hope I might get this role. It was so interesting and I know I could have done it well. I feel like I'm never enough. I'm never good enough.

I have spent this evening wallowing in self pity. The horrible little bully in my head tells me I'm not enough in anything - rubbish mum, useless wife, no friends and now not even capable of getting a good job so I should just accept 30 more years in this crap one, hating it.

I can't just take any old job. We rely on my income and the fact I can work compressed hours to make my family life manageable. I'd found a job that ticked the boxes and I just wasn't good enough for it.

I don't know what I'm expecting people to say, I've just been in tears and having a wallow.

Go girl! Good luck.

It sounds like you came very, very close in what was a competitive contest! Congratulations!

I remember reading a book some time ago when I was in a sector I hated but had to keep at it because I was the sole earner. Can't remember what it was called but the message was "If you can't choose your job, choose your attitude to it." Gave me a different perspective, and I did build a resilience that helped me as my career progressed. Love what I do now, and probably wouldn't have got here if it hadn't been for all the shit I put up with back then.

There will be something better coming along soon.

You won the silver medal when you were aiming for gold. But if you got silver this time it shows you are capable.

There are a bunch of us looking for work over on this thread, come and join so you don't feel alone. https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/work/5006805-support-thread-for-job-huntersanyone-else-losing-their-mind?page=10&reply=136899078

I work in recruitment and can tell you that all this 'use a man's name' stuff can be taken with a pinch of salt. Most businesses don't even let the hiring manager see the candidates name, never mind whether it's a man or woman!

Listen... you got the silver medal so you're more than capable of doing the job. Keep going. You'll get there...

Here's a stat for you about men and women - seeing as so many of you are adamant that a man will get an interview. Women WONT EVEN APPLY FOR A JOB unless they have 100% of the requirements in the advert. Men will apply if they have 50%. So it's women who are doing themselves down. Apply for jobs where you have the core skills, the rest can be learned on the job...