Thinking about quitting drinking alcohol

[KiwiJane504]

I am seriously considering quitting alcohol and looking for some advice.

I don't have a drinking problem, I just hate the person I am on alcohol. I act like a fool, often embarrass myself or overdo it, and then hate life for several days when hungover.

I don't drink like this often - in fact it's completely related to uncomfortable social situations. I'm autistic and have a fully neurotypical friendship group as far as I know. I only twigged recently that I use alcohol as a bit of a coping mechanism when I feel awkward/uncomfortable or like I don't fit in in social situations.

Once I've had several drinks I swing the other way into this loud, confident and irritating person.

I'm not sure whether to quit fully, or just quit drinking in these uncomfortable social settings. For example I quite enjoy a nice glass of wine on a Friday evening or glass of Pimms on a sunny day. I don't have an issue with being unable to moderate alcohol intake when I'm in my own environment or any environment when I feel more comfortable. In the social setting though it's like I want the drunk effect because I feel so much more at ease.

Can anyone relate or done similar?

Thanks all.

I just gradually phased it out. There are loads of tricks you can do.

No one really pays any attention to how much you drink so just have one and drink it super slow. Swap in a soft drink. Start with a soft drink and spend ages drinking it. Soda water, kombucha etc.

I love going out sober now! I've been phasing it out for about three or four years now. Not actually drank since last December now. It suits where I am in life (44) and I have none of the guilt or self justifications or need to analyse my relationship with alcohol. I do have a respiratory issue and it makes my lungs hurt from dehydration so that's the main reason TBH. But gosh there are so many benefits!

There's no sense that I'm forcing myself to do it - I genuinely this part is key- just lean into it with curiosity and see where it goes. If I wanted one I'd just have it (probably a half to avoid any dehydration) and not feel guilty. And who knows maybe I will say sod it and become an alcoholic when I'm 70 😂 There's no smugness in it for me.

I don't ever feel the need to discuss it, I just occasionally post if someone mentions it.

In regards to social awkwardness you really learn about yourself. I'll go to an event and I can be super engaged with everyone for about an hour. I'm then spent. That's about the point that people then start to warm up and come out of their shells and are asking questions about me.

So lesson for me was to have some stock topics to discuss because otherwise I've run out of steam and it shows as I start acting negatively - in the sense of talking about problems , no one really wants to hear that in a social setting, then you can feel excluded as the conversation progresses. If that sounds like I am hard work, it's also work listening intently to what people are saying - that is exactly what introverts do and it's definitely work.

I tend to give myself a run up time for social events to get myself mentally in the right frame if I am tired.

Extroverts can be the opposite, slow to warm up then they own the night. We introverts are like the warm up act, then fading out early like a firework 😂.

Good point

I've done long spells of no alcohol and find it easier to just not have to consider it as an option.

I've just had a look and there is a whole board on Mumsnet called "alcohol support"!
It's under Topics > Health > Alcohol Support.

At the outset of my "trying to get a grip on this Thing", I did a 28 day challenge with One Year No Beer way back in 2018 and I'm still part of their online forum where I help other people change their drinking habits. I got so much from that community, I like to give back! You could always check them out.

Another good resource is Annie Grace and her course/ book This Naked Mind. Finally, Alcohol Explained by William Porter was a really helpful read and assisted in my understanding of the neuroscience behind habits and what makes us drink at certain times. Andrew Huberman has a fascinating (terrifying) podcast that you'll find for free on YouTube s out alcohol and how it affects your brain. There's also a whole host of funny and heart warming "quit lit" out there- I didn't identify with a lot of it as by the time I was ready to stop my drinking wasn't particularly harmful, just annoying. But these books were still a great read! The Sober Diaries was very engaging and I identified with the mum guilt.
On spirits- if you like spiced rum then the captain Morgan zero% is fabulous!
I also like Sentia spirits and Mother Root (pricey but worth it).
Wishing you well! Please shout if I can help you along the way at all.