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Original poster

Sleep over situation - mum guilt

5 replies

RosieLeaLovesTea · 21/07/2024 19:10

Hi All -help
my DD (age 10) loves sleeps over. Her best friend has invited her several times for a sleep over during the year. a different friend invited her to a sleep over last Friday night. A different friend has invited her over to a planned one in August. I feel so much guilt that I have not repaid the sleepovers. My DH has social anxiety and depression. He can handle other kids coming over for a couple of hours but not a whole night.

I managed to invite her best friend over for a sleep over at end of April. my DH was away visiting his Dad. I was able to unite my DDs friend and my DS had a friend so we had 4 kids -2 in each room and it worked well. It was all equal.

but I cannot do it regularly when my DH is around. I feel so bad because I don’t want the other parents to think that I would not want to take turns or do my bit. also I know my DH would be really embarrassed if I disclosed his personal information to others. We don’t know them well.

the only thing I can do is offer days out together but now both my DD and DS are asking when it will happen again. I just feel
so much pressure to try and keep everyone happy.

OP posts:

unbelievablescenes · 21/07/2024 19:15

It's your eh with the issue, can he go somewhere else for the night more often so his kid can live her life?

Notoironing · 21/07/2024 20:03

Sleepovers aren’t compulsory, it’s fine. Some parents host sleepovers and some don’t. If everyone did, no one would ever be in their own homes !

Mintypig · 21/07/2024 20:06

Why don’t you ask dh if he will go out for the evening and stay over at his parents? He has the issue, it’s his to fix.

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perhapsatea · 21/07/2024 20:27

I think, where possible, your husband should minimise the effect his mental health is having on his daughters 'happiness'. She loves sleepovers - he has somewhere he could sleepover and should do this a few times of year for her.

You could have multiple friends over at once, to reduce the number of times he has to sleep out.

Thursa · 21/07/2024 23:08

As someone who is painfully shy and anxious in social situations, I think as parents, we have to get over ourselves sometimes, for the sake of our children’s happiness.

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