Got back from a holiday of a lifetime, and cried over how ugly I look in all the photos

[cryingcosimugly]

I went on a bucket list holiday with beautiful scenery, but in every photograph I am taken aback but how ugly I look. I look completely haggard with huge bags under my eyes despite being 30. I don't know if I have just aged overnight without noticing until now. I look huge, my arms look puffy and massive and I look like I'm wearing the wrong bras (despite looking ok in the mirror). I look pale and unwell and almost grey, despite wearing fake tan.

I know I'm being vain, but I honestly feel so taken aback and shocked by the photos that I have cried over them. All the photos were taken by my relative apart from a couple that were taken by a stranger - in these ones I look much better and how I thought I looked.

Maybe your relative is a horrible photographer. My dh is a terrible photographer, if I want a photo taken I prop the phone up or use a tripod and a remote.

I already wear fake tan semi regularly, but I think I need to try a darker one as I still look so pale.

Good grief, don't turn yourself orange because the light exposure in a fucking photo made you look pale.

Photos just capture light and there are so many different factors that can mean the exact same image comes out looking like it has no colour or really dark.

What you see with your own eyes is a more accurate image of what everyone else sees than a photo.

We got new lanyards at work recently. My ID photo was so awful, I wore it under my top because I couldn't bear anyone to see it. Then after a few months I looked at the photo again and thought I looked quite nice..
Nothing's changed except my perception of it.

I've seen scores of threads on here saying exactly the same as you, OP. Relax. I'm sure you look great in real life. And if you're unphotogenic, so bloody what?

Your relative is just shit at taking photos!

Not kidding. Some people have no idea about light and angle etc

So maybe be sad your relative is a shit photographer but don't get all down on yourself

All the photos were taken by my relative apart from a couple that were taken by a stranger - in these ones I look much better

I get this with photos taken by my sister.

I deduce that she sees me as unattractive.

Why would you assume the STRANGER's pictures are wrong? S/he took pictures of what s/he saw, didn't they?

It might be the relative. My mother is incapable of taking a flattering photo of anyone. My sister however takes lovely photos of me!

I love this!!

I never like how I look in photos but I also think it's just me and to anyone else they look fine. Same as I think everyone else looks pretty much fine in photos and real life.

I'm rarely in many though. Including on holiday. I'm not very good at remembering to take photos with people in.

I do find photos I take on my tablet look better than photos taken with iPhones, always thought that was random but reading that article maybe not. It's odd though as landscapes look good on iPhones.

Like @Piscofrisco and @Giggorata I'm hopelessly unphotogenic. No good angle or great lighting can address the fact that I have a very square jaw, a round face and a beaky nose. I've never been good looking. Photographed mouth open I look like an idiot. Mouth shut I look like a mass murderer. Smiling, my eyes disappear and I look quite grotesque. I started to understand why some people. stick their tongues out as a way of distracting from everything else. Fortunately I have a partner who tells me I'm lovely and that in RL, rather than in the frozen moment of a photo, I have an attractive animated face and twinkling eyes. I have taken the decision to believe that, but avoid being photographed as much as possible.

"Bags under eyes ideally more sleep but make up works."

Makeup can't help bags. Did you mean dark shadows? Makeup doesn't hide my shadows either, but if you have weaker ones, I suppose it can.

I was always diabolical.in photos, it was just the shape and tone of my face and I was born with eye bags. I had a blepharaplasty and fillers and look fake but 'normal' now. I think a lot of it is that photos of famous people don't have a caption with the work they have had done, our expectations are different. People compliment me sometimes but I remind them, its all fake and plastic and whilst it makes me happier, it doesn't mean I am any different than I was.

Also eye trough fillers really help...eye bag removal is not for the faint hearted!

Maybe I have circles around the eyes which are a darker colour than rest of my face and they are much less noticeable if I wear foundation, I have a soft beige one. Though I rarely wear make up so not the best person to advise. This is what I have, I didn't realise bags were different but seems they are and on here it also recommends foundation or concealer. https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/symptoms/23128-dark-circles-under-eyes

That's all about dark circles/shadows and not bags.
Actually, as OP is only 30, this might be what she has too.
Bags usually come later in life. It's the saggy skin under the eyes.

I'm not photogenic either, I look like shit in most of my wedding photos! Get rid of them and keep the nice ones.

I’m not photogenic either. I think I look ok until I see a photo.

Whether you agree with Theresa May’s politics or not I always felt sorry for her because if you watch a video of her she looks fine yet photos generally didn’t do her any favours.

Remember in 20 years time you will look back at these photos and think wow how young I looked. I dieted in my 20s and 30s and lost muscle mass. It affected tone. I moved over to doing strength training in the gym to build muscle. The benefit of that was two fold - mental well being and the more sculpted look I wanted.

MAC under eye colour corrector is great for dark circles. Although they shouldn't really be a thing on your early 30s- may be worth getting tested for ferritin stores etc. and working on liver and gut health. If you've dieted recently you may have depleted iron stores and other nutrients

The MAC one I use is almost orange bisque like but it's actually the right shade for my circles - there's a thing online to help you find the right shade depending on what colour your circles are.

Love this !

To be honest, it’s advice I read on here once and it really, really stuck with me, so I’m happy to pass it on.

Some people can't take photos. It's very rare that my dh takes a flattering photo of me, but my teen nails it! Don't worry about it and focus on the memories of the trip.

Perfect way to describe it.

I am the opposite - people always tell me I look good in photos, which makes me think I look shit in real life (which I do)!

Im surprised at all these responses virtually diagnosing OP with this and that, focusing on her

The most likely explanation is that your relative cannot take a decent photo. Somepeople have literally no idea how to take a decent pic. My OH is one of them and I make him stand there until Im happy, clicking away. He doesnt know how to angle it, how to wait until Im ready, how to make sure there isnt a bin or a bag of dog shit in the background, scaffolding and building works seem to be a favourite of his to have in the background, he takes landscape when it should be portrait and vice versa, never seems to see how it should look, cuts the tops of things off, honestly the list is endless and no amount of teaching helps so we stand there forever until its right.

Your stranger clearly was much better at taking pics, this would have been me, you would have looked fabulous, like you actually do in real life probably

Why don’t you practise and perfect a decent photo face and pose?

I am not photogenic at all but I went to a family wedding and all the cousins looked fab and I looked like I was caught unawares in each photo eg talking, slumping, blinking, looking away. They all had a flattering pose (selfie generation younger than me so they had it down to a fine art.) I ‘pose’ a bit now with a smiling photo face and I definitely look better.