I grew up with this boy, he was my mams friends son, I'd known them since I was a toddler, his sister used to babysit me, i used to stay at their house, he was 9 years older, I didn't really speak to him, but when I was about 12 I had a bit of a teenage crush. I used to say hi in the street. But that was it. Fastforwad 5 years. He pops up on my Facebook, we start talking, just general chat, I thought he was happy in a relationship, but it turned out he was single & back at his mams. We kept talking, it got flirty, we finally met up after my 18th birthday, I was head over heels, he'd stay over half the week, he helped me move house, my mam new, they were happy about it, thought he was a great guy, my family didnt really see much of his family anymore so his family still didnt find out about us as he wanted to keep quiet incase his family judged him because he'd known me since I was tiny. Time flew, about 8 month went by, I was questioning more and more how long till we could tell his family, I had started to ask why we traveled so far if we went anywhere, why he would only really come up on a night time, why he hadnt introduced me to his kids. I was very young and very gullable!! Believed all of his lies.
I gave him an ultimatum to tell everyone & he had me convinced he did. But his ex wasn't happy & would stop him seeing the kids. So we had to be careful. A little more time sent by, he wouldn't add me on his new Facebook account. Wouldn't let me keep any pictures of him on my phone, things were getting worse but at the same time he was so so nice to me & my daughter, which helped me believe his lies. It got to just over a year, I'd always been on the pill but must have missed one, I found out I was pregnant. He sat me down, he said he didn't want any more children, bla bla bla, I will admit I was 5050 as my daughter was just about to turn 2, and she had been a difficult baby, and ofcourse he fed into my doubts of not being able to cope with a second child. In the end I decided I wanted to keep it, but he had other ideas, the manipulation started, in the end I'd agreed to the abortion. I was about 8 weeks pregnant, I think one of the nurses could tell I didn't want the abortion... she kept asking me if I was ok, I think it was her way of asking for a signal to say I needed her help!
Once the abortion was done he got distant, i remember crying, sobbing my heart out on the floor for weeks, crying my self to sleep. I then found out he'd been to the metro centre with his GIRLFRIEND!!! He was infact not single at all! Leading a double life, when he was at mine he was saying he was at his mams. And when he was at his girlfriends he was saying he was at his mams, him and his girlfriend had an off on relationship for years which is how he managed to get away with it so easily. I messaged her online and told her everything!! I never got a reply. But she took him back eventually, he had 2 more relationships behind her back from what I've heard.
So he made me abort our baby to save his own skin! I've just turned 33, and I think about my poor baby every single day!!!! How on earth do I come to terms with what I did? I've tried councilling, I've tried writing it down, I just can't stop torturing my self. I just know he'd of been a boy 💔