I do believe in karma.. but I don't really ever think about it in relation to anyone else. But I am a normal decent person who (I'll admit) is quite controlled by it.
I am a single parent with 2 autistic teens - both great but the last 5 years have been incredibly challenging for all of us.
Bad things keep on happening to me/ us and I started feeling a few years ago that maybe it's because of me. I absolutely know this sounds crazy. Well aware of it however it's led me to a place where I don't ever want to put a foot wrong in life in case it results in more awful things happening.
I am lucky enough to have a brilliant friendship group but an ex (the DCs father) who makes it his life's work to make me unhappy and blames me for every single thing. My friends joke and say it would be great if he just wasn't around.
Much as I dislike him and apart from my kids losing their dad, I can't bring myself to wish anything awful on him.. but he is truly awful and had left me in pieces at times.
I say to friends that I wish he could just evaporate- because that's not me wishing something more evil on him and I don't think karma would come back on me if I wished that.
I know this all sounds completely nuts which is why I posted on here. It's all in my head and it's starting to dictate my like. Not just about awful ex but everything. My work, whether I let someone off in front of me on the train, let someone go first in the car at a junction. It's too much!!!