How do I deal with highly sensitive Aunty?

[BippetyBoppetyBooHoo]

I believe my Aunty is undiagnosed autistic and ADHD. She adores my kids and lives 3 hours away so when we visit we stay with her and her husband for a few days. Shes my only family left in that generation so it means a lot for both of us to see eachother. Her children moved abroad so she sort of sees my kids as if they are her grandkids.

When we come she doesn't cook but she gets food in for us which will consist of a microwave meal each for us and her. She even has two microwaves in her kitchen. She says this makes things easier. But even then she will forget to do something like take the packaging off and it will be stressful.

I hate the stress of it all...and for what?...to eat low quality food and at different times so not even sat together to eat.

I'm so hesitant to offer to cook for us because she is so sensitive she easily takes offence. My kids are little so eating out is also stressful.

I think that she thinks how she prepares food is normal.

I'm not sure what I'm posting for. Advice, support anything. Thanks.

Say you've developed an allergy to some common ingredient so will make your own?
Or just put up with the food?
I'm autistic and can't cook. Live mainly on oats. When I've had people to stay, they've done their own cooking, and I find that a massive relief.

Get a take away?

Bring pre-cooked meals with you. She can either eat her own (safe) food or share yours?

Say your kids want to cook her a special meal because they love her so much
note: this requires kids to be on board and not loudly announce "no we dont!!! We want to watch tv!!"

pick something tasty but stupidly simple and easy to clean up so its a positive experience for aunt and she wants to repeat it!

Could you say you'd like to cook for her as a thank you for hosting and having you to stay? Depending how long you stay for, you could do that once and then offer to get a takeaway on the last night? Might mean a night or so of microwave meals but lessens it a bit!

The only thing re you/your kids cooking for her is that she may only feel safe eating certain foods.

@YourNimblePeachTraybake I don't think I could keep up the lie. I can definitely put up with the food...the part I really struggle with putting up with is all the stress surrounding it. Like she will get me to pick the meals for both kids and myself out of what she has already bought. I find that so annoying. And then having to deal with her feeling bad that's she's forgot to do something. And then having to tell one child dinners ready but not for the other one. Meanwhile I'm getting hangry! Ha.

That's great to hear that it would be a relief for you. I will use that to help me muster up the courage to offer to cook. I'll go in thinking that it will probably help her.