Do you have secret money?

[ClassicStripe]

I saw this today posted by @Al991
"Me and my partner call it ‘secret money’. Especially common among state sector employers like yourself and us. Money from parents, partner, tenants in a house their nan used to own, large inheritance etc. I feel like MOST people who work in low paid jobs like teaching, NHS (from experience of working with these people) have secret money. Usually a partner but I’ve known other types like owning inherited property (no mortgage), owns dividends in daddy’s company etc."
It got me thinking this must explain why I can't keep up with the Joneses despite me and DP have a decent wage each. We don't have any real secret money but once could go on a holiday we could never afford using it so I guess that counts.

Sort of - almost everyone I work with has credit cards, overdrafts etc

We paid ours off during covid. We moved to teaching online so still got paid but saved a bomb not going out, commuting, going on holiday... which means we can save for a really nice holiday every year and not scrimp etc

We also have £17,600 left from a £55k inheritance I received 6 years ago.

Most of my colleagues assume we get into debt to pay for our holidays etc as that's what they do so I suppose our money and situation is unusual in our circle.

😂 same

That's not what I'd call 'secret money'. I thought you meant a secret bank account your partner or family knows nothing about. But you mean secret from the outside world? Isn't that just private? I don't know the ins and outs of my friends finances. Don't think it has anything to do with your level of pay either.

My wife and I have separate finances. We each contribute a lump sum into the joint, the rest is ours. I have no idea what she has and neither does she.

I saw this post and thought it was ridiculous. Most people just live off their salaries don't they?

Dp and I have very big standard jobs, bother earning under £30k. We have no additional help from family, shares, inheritance or secret income and we manage just fine. We have quite a nice life. Although the cost of living has increased recently everything has got much more expensive.

Teaching isn't low paid either, here in Scotland a classroom teacher will earn £48k after being qualified for 5yrs or more. That's very well paid in my book.

I have a secret £300 in a draw with a kitkat for incase I ever get a babysitter I can take the opportunity to book train tickets and a hotel 😂

That should say bog standard. And both earning under £30k.

Most people I know manage on their salaries, and live lifestyles accordingly.

Then things ease up as childcare costs reduce, salaries go up, then mortgage gets paid off, and then some get some sort of modest inheritance.

The ones on teaching and public sector pensions breathe a big sigh of relief and retire as early as poss.

I think this is a tricky one.

DH has a very good job (six figure salary) which we don't shout about. He works in IT and basically just says "computer programmer" when anyone asks what he does for a living. I also earn pretty well, although nothing like DH's salary. So I'd imagine many people, family members included don't realise how much income we have coming in as we aren't particularly flashy. Most extra income goes on overpaying our mortgage, investments and savings accounts for our children so externally other people would not notice.

Similarly my parents gave us the deposit to buy our first house so we got onto the property ladder in our mid 20s which we have been able to benefit from.

But I don't really think this is "secret" money. It's just our family finances which we keep private.

Nope. I'm a teacher and often wonder the same as everyone seems to live in bigger houses and go on better holidays than me!

I don't. And genuinely don't know many people that do either!

We do okay and I earn well. Dh is a teacher. We just have what we've earned. No parental help. No inheritance. No family business propping us up.

Out of my friends I don’t know anyone who didn’t have help to get on the property ladder.

No. Dh was a teacher until 2 years ago, I still am. He was SLT though, and I'm UPS with additional responsibilities, so we are on reasonable pay. PIL gave us some money to pay off a bit of our mortgage and both sets of parents are reasonably well-off, so we stand to inherit a decent amount. We are late 40s/early 50s. But no, as things stand, we currently have no 'secret money' or much at all in savings.

And the teachers I know all earn pretty well.

I took secret to mean money that wasn't from your job that you didn't tell people about. So I own a second property that I rent, due to an inheritance, but I don't genetally tell anyone.

Secret money as far as I see means those who top their wages up with a PIP claim 🙄

I suppose I have secret money that only my DH knows about.

I earn 200k yet aside from DH nobody else knows, not even my parents. I think most of them assume I earn well under half of that amount as I don’t live in a huge house or spend in a particularly overt manner. I have however paid off my mortgage and saved a huge sum to fund 14 years private education for my DS. He starts school next year and everyone we know is wondering how on earth we can afford it as they assume we have a mortgage and far lower household income than we actually do.

Yeah

We are two civil servants.

We have a lot of money and a couple of houses that no one knows about. We also have decent jobs.

The money and houses are being kept for the children, we are able to live and holiday comfortably as it is without them. We add maybe £20k per year to the savings pot ourselves from our wages.

Secret from who?

We've never inherited, got money given to us from anyone etc, but we do own a holiday home and a few rental properties that not everyone in our life knows about. So its 'secret' from those people I suppose, we just don't see it as everyone's business.

@Invisimamma We do live off our salaries and pensions but we do have I suppose secret money. Investments started when we were teenagers before we knew each other. The amount of money we make varies but some years we have made the equivalent of my salary both work or worked in education.

I suppose i had 'secret money' when I was working in Londpn on 25k in 2022
but also owned a 2 bed flat in London with my husband and had a fairly comfortable life (I have since doubled my salary)

My DH was on more than double of what I earned and we lived with his mum for 3 years which enabled us to save a deposit. I also have no student loan cos parents paid for my uni (yes was underpaid for years).

But from my colleague's perspective they probably couldn't understand how I could afford to buy my home at all

Apart from my husband no-one knows or would guess that I earn as much as I do.

We live in an area that is described as 'deprived', in a cheap house that we love, I drive a 15 yr old hatchback and we don't have expensive hobbies or anything.

If anyone asks what I do for a job I just say cybersecurity stuff and no one really digs deeper.

Our lifestyle means we have been able to put away a nice nest egg for DD so we won't have to worry about uni fees if she decides to do that, and we'll be able to help her with a house deposit or wedding costs or whatever as well as having decent pensions so we don't have to work forever.

It isn't a secret but for people who don't know you very well I.e. colleagues it can seem a mystery why you can afford to go on holiday and own your home (in London) and eat out a lot when they are in the same job and sharing a house with 7 other people..

People don't realise the impact of a dual income, they think 2 people means twice the costs but that's not true. So if partner earns a lot more and you pool your expenses and have no dependents, it is a totally different ballgame.

I married at 22 (to a londoner and also got rent free living in the early years of my career/marriage) so was a dual earning couple from a start. It is very different compared to most graduates...

The main crux is a lot of people still think earnings/job have the biggest impact on lifestyle

The number of times I have heard- oh she is a doctor/lawyer so she must be doing well. Or she earns the same as I do so we would be in the same boat. But someone with a higher earning spouse or who was lucky with property , the impact of that can be equivalent to a 100k pay rise (esp since a 100k pay rise attracts a significant amount of tax)

That is the 'secret money', it would not be apparent to those who don't know you personally.

I would imagine if you know a colleague well enough to know where they live or where they are going on holiday, chances are you know know if they are living with a partner or in a house share with 7 other people.

I reckon most people would be aware that finances are substantially different in a dual income relationship.