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Am I being selfish

12 replies

Selfishsally · 20/07/2024 15:55

I have had alot of stuff going on in my family .and I have been heavily relied on for support /help it's taken up alot of my time emotionally and mentally and has gone on for years. And sometimes I do get to breaking point . But I never tell anyone.

So today I have cleaned up my downstairs. My living room is tidy . It feels nice to sit in. Garden doors are open there's a nice breeze . Ds is playing quietly on Xbox. My other 2 ate up stairs also quite . Its lively and peaceful.

I have not seen adult dd since Monday so it's been a good few days or so . I normally see her almost everyday . But they had covid and was ill with it. During in the week i have Been dealing with general stuff. School runs . Tidying up etc. Feeling permanently drained/tired etc. So I have been busy doing stuff. But have had a break from dd and the stuff I normally do for her.

She has asked to come over. With GS when ever she is here everything has to be drama. She's over the top about everything. Constantly shouting over nothing . Gs shouting /crying/screaming when he cant get his own way. Sometimes I tell dd she can come but I don't want all the screaming drama and crap. Dd often triggers GS when she does not Need to. Then it all gos to shit. I just want to enjoy my peaceful day it feels nice. But she's also been stuck in her flat for 5 days.

I feel like im being selfish but also not selfish

OP posts:
cupcaske123 · 20/07/2024 16:02

Your daughter sounds very dependent on you. Is she vulnerable in some way? You say she's always shouting, are there mental health issues?

You also sound like you have problems with boundaries in that you reach breaking point from the strain but don't say anything or look after yourself.

quickoffthemark · 20/07/2024 16:09

why would you expose this person to your children?

i would not have someone like this within a 5 mile radius of my home

Selfishsally · 20/07/2024 16:13

cupcaske123 · 20/07/2024 16:02

Your daughter sounds very dependent on you. Is she vulnerable in some way? You say she's always shouting, are there mental health issues?

You also sound like you have problems with boundaries in that you reach breaking point from the strain but don't say anything or look after yourself.

She has bipolar, ptsd and has been though alot DV etc . The time line of things is hard to explain but it's gone on for years.

I babysit quite alot during the week . So dd can have her time. Because I felt it was important she does things that are positive for her and benefit her.

But now I want to step back a bit. Especially on days like today where it feens like a nice peaceful day.

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cupcaske123 · 20/07/2024 16:18

Selfishsally · 20/07/2024 16:13

She has bipolar, ptsd and has been though alot DV etc . The time line of things is hard to explain but it's gone on for years.

I babysit quite alot during the week . So dd can have her time. Because I felt it was important she does things that are positive for her and benefit her.

But now I want to step back a bit. Especially on days like today where it feens like a nice peaceful day.

Sounds very stressful and you sound like a saint. If she needs to get out of the house she can go to the park. Tell her you have plans and enjoy your day.

AGodawfulsmallaffair · 20/07/2024 16:21

cupcaske123 · 20/07/2024 16:18

Sounds very stressful and you sound like a saint. If she needs to get out of the house she can go to the park. Tell her you have plans and enjoy your day.

Yep!

Quitelikeit · 20/07/2024 16:24

Unfortunately you can’t just stop being a mother.

You’ve had 5 days off

I’d feel like you but I’d still let her over - warn her you have a headache - might keep her quiet ish 🤣🤣🤣

Thefanofdoom · 20/07/2024 16:29

Quitelikeit · 20/07/2024 16:24

Unfortunately you can’t just stop being a mother.

You’ve had 5 days off

I’d feel like you but I’d still let her over - warn her you have a headache - might keep her quiet ish 🤣🤣🤣

She hasn't had five days off though. She's been mum to her other kids!

I'd tell her you have plans. You're usually there for your DD. You are allowed a break now and then.

foreverhidden · 20/07/2024 16:34

It's classic power balance that is prevalent in any relationship. Simply put, your DD has probably pushed boundaries for years and knows she can run rings around you. To her you are her safety net which is nice but perhaps a soft touch too. When does she stop to think you have other children and a full plate and you babysit during the week and now she wants to come to you on a Saturday. Why? Why can't she take DD to the park if they've been cooped up all week.

The fact she shouts in your house tells me she doesn't think about the effect her actions has on you, and if you've asked her not to shout and she wasn't anything but mortified she knows she is in control and probably doesn't have any shame.

Selfishsally · 20/07/2024 17:07

foreverhidden · 20/07/2024 16:34

It's classic power balance that is prevalent in any relationship. Simply put, your DD has probably pushed boundaries for years and knows she can run rings around you. To her you are her safety net which is nice but perhaps a soft touch too. When does she stop to think you have other children and a full plate and you babysit during the week and now she wants to come to you on a Saturday. Why? Why can't she take DD to the park if they've been cooped up all week.

The fact she shouts in your house tells me she doesn't think about the effect her actions has on you, and if you've asked her not to shout and she wasn't anything but mortified she knows she is in control and probably doesn't have any shame.

I feel that you are right. Alot of it is my own fault. I find it really hard to say no. And I feel guilty. I keep thinking I don't get Any help. I have to do everything completely on my owm with no help at all. It makes me feel shit and like I don't matter... but then I never ever want dd to feel like I do . So then I find it hard to say no.

OP posts:
GoodVibesHere · 20/07/2024 17:24

One way to look at it might be that she cannot use you as her crutch forever, it's not good for her in the long run to always use you as her sounding board is it, so you need to teach her/show her that she can cope without you. Distance yourself a bit. I know this is easy to say and hard to do because of the guilt, but really it's for her own good.

foreverhidden · 20/07/2024 17:40

@Selfishsally setting boundaries becomes weirdly addictive over time.

From experience I can attest that as a prior 'push over' and innate people pleaser, people have taken advantage of me many times over the years. That said, once you see the change in people's behaviour when you toughen up, it pays dividends a thousand times.

I set boundaries with my own family, my sister in particular and she doesn't rely on me anymore. It's bliss. In the past pitcher up to live with me after a break up where she lived rent free, added to my food shop but didn't feel the need to pay, came in on zero hours sleep and slobbed around my living areas on a Saturday, oh I don't know, when maybe we might want to use those.

I took a picture of her hungover sprawled out asleep in the middle of the day one Saturday on my sofa having left her lunch perched next to her like it was some kind of student digs, even when I asked her to go upstairs so we could enjoy Saturday evening in our own living room, she still refused to move, she parked herself there all day and had no shame. Oh and she was another one, shouted at me in my own home too.

I had done so much for her over the years, treated her like a daughter of my own ( she is significantly younger) and tried to make up for the fact our mother was never a mum to us.

Over the years she just knew she could push me around and I had enough. Kindness is often mistaken for weakness.

Im about to set boundaries at work with someone who reports into me and thinks they can do my job better than me and isn't shy to voice it, I've had enough of their disrespectful behaviour towards me. It's my own fault, I've been far too pally and nice to them and they are trying to take my job not even under my nose, just by being blatantly rude about it.

Although I've built the muscle memory but it takes a lot of practise to stop putting yourself last. Start today and say no and I guarantee you over the next year or so, she will start offering to help YOU.

Selfishsally · 20/07/2024 21:49

foreverhidden · 20/07/2024 17:40

@Selfishsally setting boundaries becomes weirdly addictive over time.

From experience I can attest that as a prior 'push over' and innate people pleaser, people have taken advantage of me many times over the years. That said, once you see the change in people's behaviour when you toughen up, it pays dividends a thousand times.

I set boundaries with my own family, my sister in particular and she doesn't rely on me anymore. It's bliss. In the past pitcher up to live with me after a break up where she lived rent free, added to my food shop but didn't feel the need to pay, came in on zero hours sleep and slobbed around my living areas on a Saturday, oh I don't know, when maybe we might want to use those.

I took a picture of her hungover sprawled out asleep in the middle of the day one Saturday on my sofa having left her lunch perched next to her like it was some kind of student digs, even when I asked her to go upstairs so we could enjoy Saturday evening in our own living room, she still refused to move, she parked herself there all day and had no shame. Oh and she was another one, shouted at me in my own home too.

I had done so much for her over the years, treated her like a daughter of my own ( she is significantly younger) and tried to make up for the fact our mother was never a mum to us.

Over the years she just knew she could push me around and I had enough. Kindness is often mistaken for weakness.

Im about to set boundaries at work with someone who reports into me and thinks they can do my job better than me and isn't shy to voice it, I've had enough of their disrespectful behaviour towards me. It's my own fault, I've been far too pally and nice to them and they are trying to take my job not even under my nose, just by being blatantly rude about it.

Although I've built the muscle memory but it takes a lot of practise to stop putting yourself last. Start today and say no and I guarantee you over the next year or so, she will start offering to help YOU.

Sounds like you done alot for your sister. It's really hard when people push you to far.

I will try my best to out my foot down a bit wirh DD. She does need to learn to manage on her own a bit more. I did stick to things today and she did not come over. I said she can tomorrow though.

I hope you manage to sort out the work situation. It sounds really unkind.

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