If you work full time, when do you get things done? What's your routine? Input from neurodivergent people would be especially helpful.

[UnimaginableWindBird]

I currently work 28 hours a week, but have been offered full-time hours and would like to go for it, but am trying to work out how to organize my life. I would be out of the house from 8am-5pm and my kids are in secondary school so are fairly independent.

If you work similar hours when do you cook, clean, socialize, exercise, talk to family members, do diy, have time alone to think etc?

In case it's relevant, I am neurodivergent and currently tend to spend around one day every fortnight just hiding under a duvet to recover from general life stuff, but also I genuinely enjoy my work and like my colleagues and it's a very ND friendly team.

I have a cleaner who come for 6 hours once a week, she also does all ironing. So other than wiping down kitchen and bathrooms after using them I don't really clean. Usually put a load of washing in each morning, more on a weekend.

DH does most of the cooking, I will help him, this is when we get in from work.

I exercise by going to a PT twice a week after work.

Speak to family- just as and when really, it's doesn't have a regular slot. Although I often ring my mum when I'm driving home.

Socialise at weekends- weeknights out really aren't a thing for us.

Not sure how relevant my answers will be, but I'll give it a go.

I have a partner who does a huge amount of the day to day. We're both women. She isn't working at the moment, so runs the household, does school runs, meal plans, cooks, cleans, manages the admin. I work from home and put a load of laundry on the line or do the dishes in my lunch break, sort the chickens at the end of the day, and catch up with diy, gardening, or other bigger jobs at the weekend.

I don't socialise much. I don't have the energy or time, my youngest has extreme needs and that takes up the rest of it.

It works OK on the whole.

I speak to family members when I am commuting/walking between meetings. Try to batch cook or use The Roasting Tin one pot meals, or salads at this time of year. I have a cleaner each week. I am not currently finding time to exercise :(

I think you're right to be wary about fitting all of it in. For me:

Cleaning - I don't, we have a cleaner

DIY - I don't, we use a handyman

Cooking - after work but I have a repertoire of quick and healthy meals so this doesn't take long

Socialise - often lunch or a post work drink

Talk to family members - I put my Bluetooth headphones in and chat while cooking or putting away laundry

Exercise - always at home, once a week PT session, 2x video workouts first thing or at the weekend

Pay rise for teachers

Wrong chat sorry

I clean in the evenings and then socialise at weekends. Gym 3x a week after work. There's plenty of time. Most people work full time and manage!

Oh I don't do DIY though, I'd just pay someone else to do that.

I'm a teacher and will be a single mum once divorced, we are half way through. I work 60 hours a week usually. I take my laptop to kids' clubs or to coffee shops if ferrying them to town to meet friends. They are early teens. I don't watch much TV, maybe an hour a night with DCs. Go to bed at 9.30pm and get up at 5.30am to go to work. I get home about 6pm. Kids unload the dishwasher and hang up laundry to earn pocket money. I have a cleaner every other week and just wipe the bathroom every few days and shove bleach down the loo and do quick hoovers in between when she comes. I meal plan and shop weekly with a list. Kitchen gets cleaned daily whilst cooking dinner. I go to the gym 3 times a week for stress relief and go for long walks at the weekend. My house is lived in but hygienic, I don't have time to be a perfectionist. Pets get cleaned out once a week. Once I stopped drinking alcohol i found i had more time in my life.I have anxiety but find staying busy calms me so I get things done.

I get up at 5am on work days.
Reboot laundry/sort dry clothes whilst waiting for kettle to boil.
Dishwasher empty
Sweep kitchen floor and quick mop.
Make lunch.
30 min fast walk and 10 min weights session.
Swish and swipe all bathrooms
Quick tidy around.
May meal prep for that night’s dinner.
Go to work.
Home - dinner, reboot dishwasher, reset laundry machines.
Chill with kids and DH for a while. May ring my Dad or message friends.
Only go out once a month - anymore and I get too frazzled.
Deeper cleans on weekends - so I might choose one bedroom to attack or maybe kitchen cupboards/fridge.
The house could do with being cleaner - would love a one off spring clean for windows/skirting boards.

I’m a full time teacher with three chn under 12
exercise - gym at 6am 4 days a week, run in the evenings when a kids at a club for an hour
meals - can be hit or Miss in terms of quality but I cook big and freeze or rely on quick eats like baked beans and eggs
cleaning - have a cleaner once every fortnight. Have a handheld Dyson I can nip round with. Also have low standards which helps
have a husband that does 50% of the household stuff. That’s the important bit for me I think! He does all the clothes washing/drying etc
family - on weekends but not every weekend. Not keen on phonecalls so wouldn’t ever do that.
friends - not often but they’re also busy. Fit it in during school hols normally .
life is busy but it works

Also stopped drinking two years ago like a previous poster - am much more productive and less anxious. Also means socialising doesn’t take away the next day with a hangover which helps massively when engaging with kids and the never ending job list

Hmmm, I prioritise my job and rest so I don't have the cleanest house, tidiest garden etc. I'm happiest when I keep up social connections so I try to prioritise these.

I am a good cook so I can rustle stuff up quickly. But meal planning doesn't work for me as I have to fancy something. I try to have basic groceries in at all times.

Me and my husband have areas we both own; kids sports, washing, other housework tasks, life admin etc.

I enjoy my neurodiverse urges as they compel me forward. Decorating, exercise, socials, holidays all usually fall out of some hyperfixation.

I'm nice to myself and recognise that I'll never be a steady type. I'm full on for a month or two in one area and then it'll drop away. Over time though, that equals the same as a steady type

I have never liked buying stuff so have never had a house full and tidying is the biggest issue. We also had a cleaner once a week when I worked. All bills are direct debit. I used to walk away from my desk at lunchtime and walk for 45 minutes. It did help that I worked on a beautiful campus that had a lake and was a bit like walking round the grounds of a stately home. I have never ironed and I’m someone who does laundry as little as possible.Due to allergies I don’t ever try new products.

I’m a confident cook, my Dad ran a restaurant and taught me, I can chop veg like a demon and do stuff like make 100 pancakes with two pans on the go, I used to have a shrove Tuesday pancake party for DS and his mates when little. I helped in the family restaurant from knee high and did work in other kitchens when in 6th form. I have a 5 ring hob with a wok burner, a big air fryer, rice cooker and slow cooker.

I have 2 ASC DC probably ND myself.
One child needs a fair bit if care and support . Tbh I find it hard. I clean and garden at weekends, rarely exercise but do walk dogs each evening, feel constantly burnt out. Probably different if your DC are low demand. I did try a cleaner but found preparing for her and having someone in house stressful!
So I think having a supportive partner who does 50% is key

I work 9-5 Monday to Friday and have two young kids but share co-parenting half the week with my ex. I exercise on my lunch break by walking or gardening.

I don’t have a cleaner so housework is done in the evenings or weekend. Socialising on evenings I don’t have the kids. If your kids are in secondary school it sounds doable as presumably they would let you do housework in the evenings/weekends? Whereas mine need constant help while they’re here, from 5-10pm when they finally fall asleep (autistic).

I wouldn’t ever just lie in bed taking ‘time to think’ though! I’m constantly doing something.

When I worked FT,

• I did no exercise at all, other than what naturally occurred during the working day
• had a weekly cleaner
• rarely socialised during the week, perhaps an monthly drink / meet up straight after work

After work I would make a quick meal (I am a decent cook) for us all, then collapse on the sofa until bed. Takeaway once a week or so on the most knackered day. Sometimes a bit of life admin on the sofa. Washing and grocery shopping was done at the weekend, plus we would usually see family or friends on one weekend day. DH (also working FT) did everything else.

I sound a bit negative about it but I don't think I was, the job was satisfying and the money was good.

I'm single and it's tough. I also have a long commute to work, so there's very little time in the evenings.

Saturday mornings I do my shopping, then clean downstairs.

I visit my Dad every second Sunday and we go for lunch. I prioritise this over everything else. He's elderly and in good health, but that could change in an instant. On the Sundays I don't visit Dad, I clean upstairs.

I only have one child and she's a young adult. It would be much harder if I had two or three small children. She's off college right now, so I give her cleaning jobs. She also mows the lawn. I'm currently paying for her driving lessons and I also fund her nights out.

I do up a meal plan on a Thursday or Friday, for the next week. It's hanging on the noticeboard. A quick glance tells me what I need to take out of the freezer for tomorrow's dinner. I bring a copy with me when I go shopping, so I know what I need to buy. DD cooks week night dinners atm when she's not off with her boyfriend.

Some days I can work from home, which is great, because I have a long evening. I cook something wholesome and tasty, which lends itself to re-heating, and then cook enough for two days. Sometimes I do one or two chores that night, which saves me a bit of time at the weekend. I do laundry these days also - stick on the washing machine when I get up in the morning and hang it out at lunchtime. I don't have a lot of laundry because there's just me and DD. A lot of the time, she does her own anyway.

I don't meet up with friends that often (they don't live nearby) but if, say, I have a weekend away, then I 'd usually take the Monday off to catch up with housework and laundry etc. I might add that I work in a very busy office, so I get plenty of socialising at work.

Sometimes I take a day off mid-week and go to a beauty spot for a long walk. I love walking. I don't do much exercise really - I've never been that way inclined. I've been toying with the idea of joining a gym, but I just don't know how I'd fit it in.

Is the additional money worth the additional stress?

I wake up early to get to the gym for 5am. Get back and wake DD up and we all get ready. School/work and then when back quick clean/laundry and cook and relax until 9 then go to bed. It's not that hard but my child is 12 so I don't have too much involvement in her getting ready. Just the occasional scream as to why it's 40 mins later and she still hasn't moved.

I hang most clothes so never need to iron.
If I'm tired the cleaning can wait.
Microwave or simple meals are ok

I do half an hour of cleaning everyday. Not quite the organised mum method, but I do something (ie hoover upstairs, clean the bathroom etc) everyday to keep on top of it.

I then have certain evenings that have certain jobs. Ironing on one night while I watch TV, sorting admin bits out online another, phoning round family on another night etc.

Exercise is something I am struggling to fit in/find the motivation for. But I try to squeeze in a walk at lunch time or in the evenings.

My kids go to their dad's every Sunday to Tuesday, so Sunday is my have time alone to decompress day.

It's worth upping your hours now for the sake of your pension - get a pension check (from the government site if you've always lived and worked in the UK) and unfortunately you might be shocked by how little it is if you took some time as the full time childcarer when your children were small and then worked part time for a decade plus because you remained the default childcare provider and default cook/cleaner/laundry worker/ shopper/housekeeper at home.

That really worried me after a similar life path and I upped my hours to full time (and took out a private pension) and my forecast improved as long as I keep working full time until retirement age. It's depressing though that DH's pension will be three times mine, and yes of course that benefits me too but I value financial independence!

If you live with a partner the solution is that you both do equal amounts of domestic work (my husband mostly took over the laundry of his own accord when I upped my hours).

Children should be mucking in, especially by secondary age (we blitz the house together once per week - I have three teenagers, everyone has a set housework responsibility).

Obviously a cleaner is helpful for a lot of people (paid for jointly/ 50/50 with any adults who live in the house).

We eat later than we did when I worked fewer (paid) hours but that's fine as everyone is older. I still cook 4-5 times per week and DH or one of the kids (tbh normally one of the kids) cooks the other days, when I work late.

You shouldn't be doing all the domestic work, it's a shared responsibility.

Heyo, ADHD-er here and can relate to needing a day off to recover!
I focus very intensely and can't do 'little bits throughout the day' in between other tasks. So, I go all out.
Batch cook/meal prep for the week. Do dishes once every couple of days.
Cleaners do most of the heavy lifting and I do a general household tidy at the end of the week.
That's about it

Another ADHDer here . I work full time. I have a DH who pulls his weight and a cleaner who comes 3 hours most weeks. My kids 12 -and 8 can help take the bins out and empty the dishwasher.
I wake at 6:30 and tend to have a little thinking time in bed, get up at 7 and leave for work at 7:40 . I socialise with girlfriends once a fortnight on weekday evenings and one weekend day a month with family friends . I talk to my mum driving to work . I tend to decompress after work by mumsnetting in my own head space.

I exercise on Saturday mornings . I batch cook at the weekend. We eat very simple food eg every week will include a roast dinner, chilli / spaghetti bol batch cooked, curry using sauce from a supermarket.

I don’t do DIY or gardening.

I haven't a diagnosis but suspect ADHD. Like others get up at 5:05 and do yoga or run before work. Supermarket usually on a Saturday morning and maybe one night in the week. Speak to friends/ family often while driving or on a train. Batch cook at the weekend something like chilli/ Bolangaise, our meals are quite boring a combination of, chilli, bolongaise, various soups, curries, rissottos, pizza ( DH makes it), stir fries, in the winter will do a shepardess pieor macaroni cheese or lasagne ( Dd loves it) in the summer a BBQ. Occasionally it all falls to bits and we have pasta pesto ( we are veggie if that makes any difference) We did have a cleaner but she left, at the weekend I clean the bathrooms ( there are 3) DH does the kitchenn DS hoovers when he is home.