Boomer parents

[Freesamples]

Anyone else got a boomer for a parent that a) has no idea how the world currently works and b) loves to put the boot in and c) is absolutely delusional about how much things cost.

me, I love to sniff out a bargain, crowning glory the summer hols I’ve booked for me, dh and dcs. 4 star+ AI, 2 adults 2 kids, package £2k and in summer holidays. Absolute belter. All to be met with a chorus of how expensive that is and how much we’re over paying and how they’d spend no more than £1k on holidays for us (in the mid early 00s). Plus, don’t want to go there, they hate brits, it’s too hot. (All places we went as kids btw)

it can’t be just me

Yep.

Us: things are tight rn because part time childcare for two is £2.5k per month
Them: why are you both working? You shouldn’t work then you wouldn’t have to pay for childcare. When you were small I paid 50p to the playgroup syndicate and it meant I had two hours off most weeks.
Also them: Your house is so small (3 bed semi), why don’t you get a bigger mortgage.
Also them: I know things are tight so I’ve given you some money for DS birthday to spend on what he’d like/need. (Totally bigged up, sounds like they’re transferring hundreds… £5 in a card later)

My parents are unique though. They’re constantly telling me how much money they have and how they don’t want the tax man to get it through IHT. They’re worth about £3.5-4m including cash assets. Maxed out the £80k limit on bank accounts. Maxed out premium bonds. Dad bought a house cash for £250k and my mum didn’t notice the hole in their finances. Recently they told me they’d lost £40k on bad financial advice. Keep saying they’ll be loads when they’re gone. If my mum lives to the age her mum did then DH will be the same age his dad was when he died. DH is fairly convinced we’ll be dead before we see a penny.

We don’t expect money btw. It’s the way it’s lauded over us and how what we have achieved isn’t good enough. They use money as a carrot / weapon. But we’re kind of over it now.

How can you be a boomer and have a 15yo ? Aren't boomers the baby boom following WW2 so retirement age now ?

I thought boomer was 1945-1960. So at least 64 ,now you had your son at 49 ?

1966, I think. So not impossible if older when having the child.

No it isn’t. If you’re describing a generation the correct term is Baby Boomer.

The term Boomer is an insult.

I’m a very very late Baby Boomet. Spent a lot of my youth unemployed under Thatcher when she tried to kill the north. Late ones had a shit time and aren’t really part of that generation.

I think it ends at 1963 so the youngest boomers are 60/61.

Every generational descriptor now has several stereotypes attached to them, many of them negative. I strongly associate with many millennial stereotypes and I can definitely see how my childhood and that of my peers were shaped by the media, music, news and the general zeitgeist of the time we grew up in.

The word 'boomer' unfortunately does have a lot of negative connotations attached to it and I can see how this does not apply to everyone in that age bracket but I have heard many an uninformed comment from persons in that age bracket. It's especially obvious when they talk about house prices, cost of living, women in the workplace, gender norms, their attitudes to wfh, heavily right-leaning in their politics etc. In the US, they're more likely to be Trump voters, for instance, and that is based on actual stats.

Again, I appreciate this isn't everyone but some of these views are quite common in that generation.

At least someone from the baby boomer demographic (1947-64) would have put please at the end of that sentence. They would also have checked their dates and worked out that the pp had a late baby at 44/45. And that's despite the fact that hardly anyone of the demographic had the opportunity to go to university and many who were born before the late 50s left school at 15. They were that privileged!

Some take their parents for granted majorly and birch about them when others never had them or lost them at a young age.

Well we all bring our own lens don't we ? My DPs are what I think of as true boomers born '49 and '47. They are GPs (obviously) to my adult children born 04 and 06. For me there is at least one generation between school age children and baby boomers.

The idea of some one of my parent's generation having a teenager seems very incongruous. Of course someone born in '46 could have had a baby by '64 so then they'd both be boomers ?

It is very silly to try to straight jacket a generation of people born during about 15 to 20 years (1946+/ - to 1960s) into a type of character. They are mostly categorised by the fact they were able to buy low cost property (through no 'fault' of their own).

@Freesamples I think what’s interesting on this thread is that there are a few comments from people who bought their homes when interest rates were high (13-15%), eg the 1980s, these comments just prove the OPs point. Yes it was difficult but as a percentage of income it was significantly easier than today. You only have to read the Financial Times to work that out. Relative day to day costs, including things like mortgages and disposable income, are the worst / most difficult for 70 years. (Call it “cost of living” but I don’t like the phrase). I can only assume these people were born between 1946 and 1964 (the generation commonly referred to as the baby boomers but which seems to be a cause of consternation on the thread), because the people getting mortgages in the 50s were likely born in the 1920s and 1930s (and unlikely to be on mumsnet, although happy to be proven wrong).

My boomer parents are nothing like this tbh.

Very predictable boomer response on here to be obsessed with control and money by going on about refusing inheritance 😂

Arrogant as always. Try seeing value in more than just money.

They're not even saying the usual, "you'll miss them when they're dead." They're going straight to throwing their toys out of the pram, "well if you don't like it then you don't get any inheritance!"

Luckily my now middle aged children are loving and appreciative of the practical, emotional and financial support I have given them through their lives so far, and will continue to give them.
It’s my birthday on Monday and they have organised a birthday lunch for me in a lovely riverside pub. They didn’t need to do that, I’d have been happy with a phone call. My DD comes on holiday with me every year - I carry most of the cost, because I can afford it better than her.
Not everyone’s experience is the same as yours, OP.

You’re just highlighting the OPs point though, it’s very unusual for someone to be able to get a mortgage on 3.5 times one salary nowadays, sorry but that’s a very out of touch comment. Interest only mortgages are seldom available these days so people don’t even have that option, to take an interest only mortgage and sit tight for house prices to rise and the debt to be inflated away. The vast majority of people require two salaries and cannot afford to be SAHMs due to the enormous cost of living. Also consultant is a comparatively well paid job so yes you were very fortunate.

I don’t agree with the OP but you’ve perfectly highlighted how some of the previous generations are totally out of touch with reality and yes, it can be very grating.

Are you sure they think the holiday is expensive, they probably don't think it will be a very nice holiday as it is cheap.

You don't sound very nice, hopefully your DC won't be the same as you when you are older

Interest rates were really high in late 80s / early 90s. At that time, pretty much everyone I knew had interest only mortgages. No hope of chipping away at the capital. And lots of repossessions in early 1990s. It wasn't all milk and honey

TBH, I raise an eyebrow at the amount my DC spend on holidays, meals out, handbags etc. I suspect they could afford to buy a flat if they were willing to make some compromises

And, I didn't go abroad until I was 19

So, your parents are perhaps just trying to be helpful

Lost me at Boomer…sad derogatory term

So many young people just don't get how life was for earlier generations. They have far more in the way of material things than people used to have, due to a variety of reasons, yet still think they are hard done by.

All they can see is that houses didn't cost as much as they do now and think everyone was rolling in money. As you said, it's swings and roundabouts.

I'm not in the UK, but interest rates were even higher here, and there was also a huge farming crisis and many people were forced off their farms, through no fault of their own.

Incidentally, most of my boomer friends have children with far fancier houses than they ever had.

I get that it is often used in a derogatory way, but how does dropping the word "Baby" make it so offensive. Baby Boomers is the term used for people born in those years, and always has been.

People in their 60s and 70s go on holiday and obviously know how much they cost as they have to pay for them, why would they not know how much things cost. They didn't stop going on holiday in the early 2000s

I'm not 'a boomer' but I also remember interest rates being 15.2% . Also, I'm pleased interest rates have risen to a more sustainable level and are now giving me better rates on savings.
I think you need to cut your parents some slack OP.

1. interest only mortgages are very rare nowadays, I know plenty of people who’d love to be on an interest only mortgage but that option generally isn’t available, plus there was significant house price growth during that time which is very unlikely to happen now
2. The boomer generation seem to be the only generation that begrudge the “modernising” of life e.g. sky tv, comparatively cheaper travel abroad, avocados etc. for the next generation, despite them having a significantly better deal then the generation before them I.e. no world wars, no rationing, better sanitation etc.

I wouldn’t talk about the cost of anything to anyone personally! A bargain would be shared with my OH and no one else because it’s not their business.

Also, buyers have far higher expectations nowadays eg central heating, double glazing and dishwashers considered essential. I had none of these in my first flat. And the decor was really old fashioned, but I couldn't afford to replace it