Is this depression or do I just need to get a grip?

[DammitNeedToPerkUp]

I can't shake this so I'm wondering if I should make a GP appointment, or whether I just need to give myself a shake and get on with things.

For the last three months or so I've noticed that I feel very bleak and despairing. I have nothing to be despairing about. I have two happy, healthy children, I have a good job, we're financially secure, and I am very lucky in so many ways. We have had our share of misfortune in the past - DH has an incurable cancer that seems to be stable at the moment, but is likely to start growing again at some point; my mum has just finished chemo and we're waiting to find out if it has been effective. I recently experienced a health event that means I'm no longer allowed to drive, but it's okay, I'm managing.

I mention all this as I know it could be just these things throwing me off balance temporarily rather than actual clinical depression. But I just feel like crying all the time, and I feel overwhelmed with sadness and anxiety. I'm on HRT and have been for several years (very early menopause - I'm 42) and I get regular exercise, I eat well, don't drink bar an occasional glass of wine with a meal out.

I feel . . . depressed. Am I? Or do I just need to snap out of it?

It doesn’t really matter if it’s those things making you feel depressed or if it’s clinical depression, or those are triggering depression. You feel depressed and you have lots of stressful things going on, you may need some help. Go and see your gp and talk to them about it.

If you see your GP they will probably talk you through a structured questionnaire like the PHQ 9 which will assess how many symptoms of low mood you have had in the last couple of weeks.

Its NOT a diagnostic tool in itself. But it will help the GP and you assess the severity of your symptoms.

People on the internet cannot help you. Only a trained healthcare professional can.

Depression is persistent low mood - you are experiencing persistent low mood. In many cases mild to moderate depression, especially if there is a clear cause like the many stressful life events you have experienced, will start to improve in 2-3 months even if you do nothing. But its important to monitor this and continue the sensible lifestyle steps you are already taking. Consider talking therapies if you would like them.

If it's very persistent people find medication helpful in about 2/3 of cases. But it's not the first thing the GP is likely to offer and it isn't necessarily the only thing that will help.

If it is depression the prognosis is good. But see a GP, they are well trained in supporting people with depression and will want to help.

you definitely do not just need to get a grip. You are going through very traumatic life events in a short space of time. Please do not minimise what you are going through and whilst you can have lots of positive things that doesn’t mean that the struggle is any less. Please do book a doctors appointment.

with all you have going on I’m not surprised you feel overwhelmed and tearful- please be more gentle with yourself.

it may not be clinical depression- I was diagnosed with circumstantial depression after my youngest was born because was was the circumstances I was in that was causing it- I was medicated, I’ve done some therapy (for something else) and I’m now off medication after just over a year.

sending hugs 🤗

Please go and see your GP ASAP.
Honestly you have had a lot going on
I waited far too long because I was a strong person !! and should be able to manage .I wasn't I was just masking severe depression and anxiety.
Get the help there is available much more than just taking tablets .
Wishing you all the best .

I'd also go & see GP. In many areas you can also self refer for counselling (I'm in Midlands) which can be really beneficial too. Be kind to yourself x

Thanks so much for your replies - I suppose I'm a bit worried that I'll be referred for counselling, which I honestly don't think will help. I suppose I'm hoping that I could just take an antidepressant and start to feel better . . .

I had 'counselling' for similar. It was just the opportunity to chat about myself and for somebody to listen, in a safe space. An opportunity to get things off my chest that I couldn't really say to others. I only needed to go a couple of times and I felt much better from just talking. However, I agree with other posters about going to see your GP.