What would you do about sleeping arrangements?

[Runbunny]

A group of friends in their 50s going away for 2 nights. We go away fairly often, are very comfortable with each other, due to everyone's other commitments, the exact make up of the group varies a bit.

This time we have:

John, a single man who I know well, bit of a ladies man, but not difficult to keep under control 😆

Andrew, seems nice enough but a fairly recent addition to our group. Likes a good gossip!

James, lovely man I know well, very very married, his wife is not coming.

Anne, my best friend in the group. Her husband usually joins us, so she'd share with him, but he's not coming this time.

Sarah, the person I usually share with by virtue of us being the only 2 single women.

Do we need 3 rooms or 4?

I know some people will say they don't want to share with anyone, but that's not how this group works. If I share with either Sarah or Anne, the other is going to feel left out if they have to have a room on their own, then there's the additional cost of that too.

The men will be less sensitive about it but there's still the cost issue.

So, I could let Anne and Sarah share and take one for the team by sharing with John. It would be fine, neither of us would be uncomfortable about it, I've done it before and it's never been mentioned by anyone in the group since.

I obviously can't share with James and I'm not sure about Andrew. My only concern is that John does have this reputation as a ladies man. IMO it's a reputation he's cultivated but doesn't necessarily live up to. He reckons he hasn't has sex in nearly 3 years! Anyway I'm not worried about him, I've shared with him before and it was fine, but no one made a song and dance of it and no one who wasn't on the trip knows. This time we have gossipy Andrew.

The money isn't the biggest issue, it wouldn't stop anyone going, but there's a choice to be made about who gets the single, more expensive rooms iyswim.

WWYD?

You wouldn't want to hear John's morning chorus of farts or see his skidmarks in the pan?? Me neither.

Will accept that our friendship group is unusual for middle aged people, but we're having the time of our lives. It's like a teenage friendship group without any of the angst, a second youth now our DV are grown up, getting old discracefully. Most of us have had some rough times and the group has really come through for us.

Anne's husband will be delighted for her to come away and have fun, while he's off on a golfing weekend this time, but he'd usually be right at the heart of things.

We do several of these trips a year, some overseas. None of us are on the breadline, but the more we spend the fewer trips we can have.

I really wouldn't want to share with a man that wasn't my DH. I would rather cover the extra cost myself to have my own room!
Can't you find somewhere with a triple room so all the ladies share?

I'd find a hotel with triple rooms, it can't be that hard. Whereabouts are you going?

Or what about a 3 bed cottage/apartment with one person on a sofa bed in the lounge?

Yes, hotels is where this all falls down. There must be other options of guest houses or caravan/lodge, air bnb etc. I know funds are tight but Travelodge always used to do a double and a pull out (thats the sofa, not John)

I’d go with 4 bedrooms, cost to be split equally between all. Whoever wants to sleep alone, can - you all sound easy-going.

This has the makings of:
A) a Carry On film
B) a Channel 5 sitcom
C) a Midsommer Murders episode
D) an episode of Inside Number 9 (the room number John and OP will be bunking up in)

Oooh matron!

Left out? I'd be totally happy having my own space! I would certainly NOT want to share either a man.
Is there a triple/family room the women can share?

Its almost as if you were on our last trip 🤣

If you're happy to share with John, I'd go ahead and do that. I wouldn't worry about gossip. Surely the best thing about being in your 50s (I'm 53) is not giving a shite what other people think!

This sounds terrible. I’d want a room of my own.

Agree with this. Split the cost equally over 4 rooms. I've had similar group situations where I would have been theoretically happy to share, but the man is married, so we don't. So because it's not really my 'fault' I have to take a single, we split the overall cost evenly.

You know your friends better than I do, but I seriously doubt that either Anne or Sarah would be disappointed at not having to share a room.

This one.

I'd book six rooms. You aren't in your teens any more.

Look, you clearly want to share with John so why not just book five rooms - one for the two of you and then a single for everyone else. Or, if you’re sure the others wouldn’t mind sharing, one for the two women, one for the two other men and one for you and John to get as handsy as you like in!

They would. MN, where everyone seems to hate people is a complete alien world to me. We like each other and go away to have fun together.

I don’t hate my friends (!) and I’m not in my 50s yet either but I do think sharing a hotel room with someone other than my DH/DC is something I’ve left behind in my teens/twenties. I would book an air bnb - socialise in the living room sleep in private!

When we go away as a group it's pretty normal that couples share, single men/women share with a friend of their choice, or some people have a room to themselves. Apart from when we were younger and less well off and we stayed in hostel dorms, men and women never share unless they're a couple. On a couple of ocassions I've shared a house bathroom with a single male friend but there's no way I'd ever consider sharing a bedroom with him. Whatever we do it's always discussed in advance, I'd be pretty pissed off if I turned up somewhere to find someone had allocated me to share within someone without my prior agreement.

That's why we're thinking about it now.

We go away a lot, approx once a month. Usually the numbers work out naturally, this one is a bit trickier, but it will work out and everyone will be happy.

When I first became single, I used to think I wanted a room to myself, but went with the flow (because effectively paying double every time adds up, being single is an expensive business) and it's all been perfectly fine.

I'd call the hotel you want yo ho to and ask is they can put a third bed into a twin/double room - most hotels have fold out beds for families with one child, but they don't actively show up on booking sites as having triples.

And I'm really envious - I'd love yo go away every month with a group of friends! I get one weekend a year away with a couple of female friends, we go single rooms as it's only once a year.

Would people honestly feel "left out" because they had their own room and the ability to have a private morning poo? I must be weird or old fashioned.