Relationship after a baby?

[Freyyya]

Is this normal I don’t know. We have a 2.5 year old and 6 month old

i felt like we dipped after our first, got back on track and soon after I was pregnant again (unplanned but happiest suprise)

Now we’re in a rut. Like passing ships. It sometimes feel like he’s my 3rd child he can be so needy
I have 0 sex drive it’s not him I cannot imagine myself having sec at all I don’t desire to with anyone else
He’s wanting attention and feels left out because my focus is the kids

im just finding it hard as we were a couple and I miss him a bit but right now we’re just 2 stressed parents and it just feels like again passing ships

is it normal to have this type of rut

After baby/babies *

We didn’t have any issues between us after children but many people do. Communication is the key to sorting it out. Each marriage will have its unique challenges, first year of baby arriving DH was sent overseas with work loads. It was not ideal and we live hundreds of miles from family. People used to asked how I coped, I just had to as it was his career. I did chuck some money at the issue by having a cleaner and he went in to nursery two mornings a week while I was on maternity leave.

Being tired is a big contributory factor with relationships suffering as well. DS didn't sleep through for six months, DD had sooner than that but my friends DS didn’t sleep through till he was 5 years old. So many permutations of different issues in each relationship after children and also peoples ability with coping with them. Plus deep down those issues test how much people really loved each other as it’s so stressful. I can cope with little sleep if needed, it’s not ideal but some really can’t cope and it makes them unwell.

It's normal.
I found it very hard after having DD as I was constantly so sleep starved. I had no resources for anything but just surviving. And as I was breastfeeding and sleep starved sex was the last thing on my mind. Once I started getting more sleep and not feeding anymore I started feeling more back to my old self and we started spending more quality time together. I do think it's important to talk about these things with your DH so you both know it's just temporary and you continue working together as a team through the challenging times.