I have a 9 year old and co-parent with her dad (been separated 5 years). My DD has a best friend and its her birthday and her uncle (my friend) is taking her to Alton Towers as a treat and they want us to come along. We agreed today to go as DD was super excited about it. I've just had a huge text of her dad ranting saying that he is taking her there for her birthday 1 week later. And he wanted it to be really special (even though she's been countless times before) and he said that its going to take the shine off him taking her as he goes one week later.
The problem is as my friend is a male (He's really good family friend who I've known most of my life) - i think thats the issue! The thing is I have taken her to lots of theme parks with my family (one quite recent)and he's never had a problem with it.
The thing I'm worried about the most is my DD (I put up with his control and abusive behaviour for over 10 year). As he said he's asked DD tonight and she doesn't want to go with us now. My DD would literally go theme parks everyday of the week if she could! I can imagine he's said somehting along the lines of 'but daddy wants to make it really special for you - and it's going to ruin it going a week before'. She's really sensitive and I'm so angry that he's putting adult feelings of 'guilt' etc on her. I'm worried she's going to be upset in school tomorrow (as she's with him overnight) and if he's saying hes upset or whatever bullshit its going to play on her mind!
I was going to cancel the trip and just pay my friend the ticket price anyway (as he's paid as his nieces birthday present), but then I thought he controlled me for a decade of my life from the age of 18 why the hell should I cancel something. The funny thing is he has a girlfriend and my DD spends time with them both, does things I don't agree with (paranormal ghost hunts), but he still continues to do these things.
I'm not sure what I want from this post, I'm just concerned about DD. He's so up and down! It was my daughters birthday party last week and he was nice as pie with everyone, but I'm always waiting for his to turn in some way or another.
Does anybody have any advice about co-parenting with a narcissist?