The kids are 8 and 9.
He has them every 2nd weekend.
No court order, and he doesn't want additional time.
I spoke to SS and they said they wouldn't look at his house as they only visit every 2 weeks and they advised me to just stop contact if I felt it was too much.
The ideal outcome would be him fixing the issues there which include -
His pet has fleas and my dc come back bitten
No carpets or curtains, my dc are struggling to sleep with lack of curtains.
They get sick either there or within a few hours of coming back the vast majority of the time.
The kids take photos there and I saw from last time -rubbish strewn around, mouldy cups and plates, cat litter unchanged.
He's very emotionally manipulative towards them (although this is harder to prove)
He often doesn't have enough food in the house to the point I send them with snacks, and one of my dc had, what I believe to be, a panic attack because they thought I was going to run out of food, which would never happen here, I'm always fully stocked with at least 3 weeks worth of food.
My dd prefers to wear clothes from the boys section, she always has, she's very sporty, he refuses to allow this at his house, they come to a standstill when arguing and usually end up in PJs all weekend because he refuses to take her out dressed as she wants (also doesn't have the clothes she were at his house, he only has dresses and leggings for her which she hates).
Dd also came back here once with a drinks bottle from his house which was mouldy, and she had been drinking out of it. I stopped contact after that for a few weeks until he sent photos that his house was clean and tidy and stocked with food, but it seems to have slipped again so feel something formal needs to be arranged.
There's lots more incidents of smaller things, but it all builds to a picture of neglect that I can't tolerate.