Have you ever been on a date with him?

[Devondeer]

I feel so stupid.
In my desperation to be loved and have a relationship, I allowed myself to be tricked by a guy on OLD
I feel so foolish and shocked at my poor judgement.
So after several exchange of messages and phone chats we agreed to meet.
Oh my word.....this is where it went wrong.
He was late and scruffy.
Looked like he'd just fallen out of bed and then rushed to meet me.
Why didn't I leave then?
It gets worse.
He ate like a pig and drank like a well.
And then I noticed his front teeth were false and kept moving round as he ate.
So why did I stay?
It says more about me, hoping he'd be actually be really nice the more I got to know him. Eternal optimism as usual.
We stayed in contact for a while until I finally realised the truth.
He'd given me a false name, wouldn't disclose his full address, but made endless promises to me. Then also full of excuses and change of plans. He had a very good job as a teacher and this I know to be true.
I continued to give him the benefit of the doubt.
Eventually after another meet up he admitted he was messaging and dating other women.
He told me that's the way he is, always has been, always will be.
I feel so stupid to have been taken in by him.
I'm in my early 50s and this was post divorce when I wasn't in the best state of mind.
He apologised to me and said he just can't help it.
I don't even know why I'm putting this on here.
I can't believe I got involved with him and let myself be tricked by his promises and empty words.

I think it might be worth your while exploring why you worked so hard to convince yourself he wasn’t awful, OP?

You gave a creep the benefit of the doubt - just move on x

😪
Gosh
Yes
I did the same with my husband.
I always hoped he'd change.
I've just read another post from a mother whose husband lost temper with their young children.
I know how she feels.

Forget it and move on. We all make mistakes.

Wtf? Reported

I've also reported that poster.

You were kind and gave him the benefit of the doubt. Block him and move on knowing you will be more savvy next time. OLD sounds awful.

If the OP sees this then they can realise they are so much better than a person like you! How can you say that?

I didn't see the deleted message.
Thanks for removing it and saving me from more upset.

I tend to give people the benefit of the doubt and find good in them. It drives my boss crazy! In a good way, we balance each other out as a professional leadership team.

There is a huge difference in knowing the junior project manager is a lovely bloke who tries hard but is probably in the wrong role and

All the many, many duds in the dating pool.

Love yourself, keep your standards high, and don't let your kind nature mean you kiss frogs. If your option is single or a troll, by all means bask in your own company.

Keep throwing them back until you meet someone who is right. My coworker and hers were both recent divorcees who meet and then immediately exited the apps.

Good luck

OP in this instance your optimism hasn’t helped but in general it’s a wonderful quality. Don’t let it be dampened.
Can you imagine if this man put his reality on his profile…
Eat and drink like a pig. Too tight to get my teeth fixed properly. Scruffy. Unkempt. Will attempt to string you along whilst seeking validation from multiple women.
If you spend the night with me be prepared to find my teeth in a glass next to the bed.
Do you honestly think you’d be interested?
You wouldn’t and neither would anyone else - I hope!
This man clearly thinks women are fair game and if he spots a vulnerable one he has a script.
He doesn’t want a partner he wants an ego boost.
I think you need to press pause on the dating, just for a bit, and go back to basics, doing things you enjoy with people you actually like.
And who like you right back.

Thank you@DollyBelle
I am having a break from dating and it's good.