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Toddler sleep...

4 replies

Lavender14 · 15/07/2024 19:34

I know logically it gets easier with time but we are very much in the trenches with it at the moment. 90% of the time it's a joy and ds is the most adorable chilled out wee dude, but when his sleep is messed with, well he's absolutely my son!

The issue I'm having is that my family live a few hours away and they are regularly complaining that they don't see ds enough, that when they do see him we ask them to meet us halfway. In the last week we've seen them twice because we've been off on holidays but my issue is that every time it completely throws ds sleep out of whack because he sleeps on the way down in line with his nap (which is fine) but it's too long a journey for us to keep him awake the whole way home after and even when we try getting him ready for bed and then trying to do a gentle transfer into the cot he wakes up immediately and that's us on the go for hours trying to get him back down. That's frustrating in itself. But the next day is when it really gets us because he's exhausted. Today has been a particular doozy. He went to bed at midnight (after 3 hrs of trying to wind him back down to sleep) then woke up at 6.30 crying and wanting resettled... except that's the time we normally get up so I had to get him ready and take him to nursery. He has cried purple all morning. Did settle in nursery eventually and had a nap so I was hoping this evening would be better but it's just been more of the same. I love my family and I want them to have a good relationship with my son but I really question if it's worth it when trips are messing with his sleep so much and then he's miserable and cranky for days after because he's exhausted.

How do others manage this? Staying down there isn't really an option, we've tried in the past but my mum has a dog with a significant bite history who she insists "means no harm" and shes shown that I can't trust her not to let the dog around ds when I'm not there watching so it means I can't even go to the bathroom by myself if we're staying over.

OP posts:
Lostthetastefordahlias · 15/07/2024 19:44

This is tricky. With my first I people pleased at the expense of her sleep but with the second we just stayed in a hotel close to family then waited for them to visit us (often took a while, but at least they can’t complain they haven't seen you if its their turn). It won’t be long before it’s easier.

Lavender14 · 15/07/2024 20:03

Lostthetastefordahlias · 15/07/2024 19:44

This is tricky. With my first I people pleased at the expense of her sleep but with the second we just stayed in a hotel close to family then waited for them to visit us (often took a while, but at least they can’t complain they haven't seen you if its their turn). It won’t be long before it’s easier.

Thanks, my family aren't the most understanding in general to be honest and they do have different expectations of me than was ever had of my sister but then it's different because they've only ever lived 10 minutes away from each other so never had to travel with their kids unless it was something they wanted to do for fun, rather than to accommodate others. I just know that if I say anything they'll say I'm inflexible and over the top which is annoying because I doubt myself but at the same time surely it's right for ds to be my priority.

OP posts:
Makingchocolatecake · 20/08/2024 23:15

When ours wakes up during a car-house transfer, we would give her a dummy and her snuggy (any tshirt) and she would usually go back to sleep, not sure if you're already doing this though.

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SneakerShoulders · 20/08/2024 23:17

How long is the journey and how old is he?

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