To still give presents after 21 years old?

[KeyInALock]

DH and I will be retiring in the next couple of years, so will have to be a bit more careful with spending.

We've got nieces and nephews who we have given Christmas and birthday presents to since birth. We don't live nearby and the relationship is good enough, but we only see them occasionally.

The oldest of these is nearly 22 years old and I'm wondering if it's mean to just get them a card once they're over 21 and earning for themselves?

What do you do in your family?

We stop at 21 but all the nieces and nephews know this so it's not a surprise.

We stop at 18 so you're already ahead of us!

We stop at 21 also with gifts, however we do do gifts for big birthdays 30/40 etc

On my side, we continue with token gifts for nieces and nephews at Christmas and birthday (except one who lives overseas in a difficult country) but not with DH's siblings' children. This was by mutual agreement though.

The rule in our family was that it stops at 18.
Ironically, my dc was the youngest so they all stopped buying presents when mine was 13 as soon as their kids turned 18 and weren't getting presents from us anymore despite the fact that we had spent years buying presents before ours was born...

I would just give a card at 21 unless I was the parent or grandparent.

One of my aunts ( we had a very big family) had a system. Presents to 21 - a watch, then nothing until the wedding - cutlery. Nothing after. Worked well.

We do not give presents at all now. We stopped maybe 15 years ago. Our inspiration has disappeared after many decades of wracking brains.......

I stopped at 18 with money.

We stop at 18, apart from their 21st. All my nieces and nephews are older than that now so life is considerably cheaper than it was (we have 9 between us!)

We stop at 18 other than for big birthdays - stopping at 18/21 for anyone other than direct family is what most people I know seem to do.

Wow my aunt always gives me a very generous gift and my mum does the same with her nieces and nephews. But we are very close, it doesn’t happen in any other branches of the family who are less close.

I think I stopped at 21st. They're all in their 30s now, and I just send cards.

Im my family different aunts and uncles stopped at different ages (18/21/30) which is fine and it's expected that it would happen. Christmas changed to a secret Santa for everyone who had aged out of gift receiving. I think the only sticking point could be that if you have children who have received gifts from your siblings after the age you want to stop giving. But otherwise if you mention in advance that gifts stop at 21 that's fine.

Do you give your aunt a gift?

We stopped when their education stopped, and they started earning.

Yes of course!

It varies in my family. I have remained very close to my parent's two siblings and we swap gifts at Christmas and birthday (in both directions). My own sibling couldn't even tell you their addresses, so clearly there is no swapping of cards, let alone presents. My sibling also decided that they no longer wish to give or receive gifts other than very young children. It makes me sad, but I respect their choice.
For context, I am in my 60's.

I send my niece a tenner in a card and tell her to have a drink on me.

My DNs are in their mid 20s and I still gift at Christmas and birthdays
I enjoy buying for them so it’s not an issue
Sometimes so spend a fair bit of it is something O think they will like