We moved to our home around 2 years ago and became friendly with the neighbours opposite us. When I say friendly we chat when we see them and they came to a party we had, we don’t spend time socially with them. For the sake of this thread I will call them Sarah and Tom. They have 4 children of varying ages from 17-10.
last time I saw them to chat to I noticed that Sarah looked very thin and she had a bruise on her face. I mentioned this to my partner an he agreed that she looked thin but didn’t notice the bruise. Tom had mentioned my partner the week before how he was having problems with his oldest son.
today me and my partner were in my sons nursery which at the front of the house and I heard Sarah shouting. I could see her from my window very upset (crying) and shouting ‘let me go just leave me alone’ she was being followed by her oldest son and youngest who was crying saying ‘mom please don’t leave’ things were escalating with Sarah becoming more upset as was the youngest child. I said to my partner it’s not right for me to ignore this she needs help so I went over.
when I got these she was extremely upset and gave me a massive hug crying. She said that her oldest son is horrible to her and that he gets physical with her. I tried to persuade her to come over to my house, in doing so the youngest son appeared at the door and said ‘I don’t know why he doesn’t just leave you alone please don’t leave’. I told him that he could come over too and let’s have a drink and calm down. She was adamant that she needed to go to an appointment so I told her to come over whenever she wanted, if my car was there I’m in. I asked her if her husband knew what the son was doing and she said he did.
later that morning she messaged me asking if she could come for a coffee tomorrow and thanking me for coming over, of course I said yes.
I am worried as Tom very much comes across as the type of man who would not allow his son to be physical towards his mother. Tom is well built and ex military, I can not imagine him being afraid of the son and it is making me think if he does know what the son is like when he isn’t there (he works long hours). I am also worried that she is in danger if the son is physical, with him being the oldest there is not a lot the younger siblings can do if this gets out of hand. She has my number and when I see her tomorrow I will reiterate that she can come at any time, I would like her younger son to know that too. I did also say to her that if she wants the older son out the house for a couple of hours I’ll take him (I have lots of experience working with older teenagers in a safeguarding role). I think due to my job I am all too aware of how domestic situations can play out but I also know that teenagers are a handful. I would like some reassurance that her husband is aware of the extent of the problem.
any suggestions on what else I can/should be doing?